Happy New Year......

Happy New Year I would say, and that should be all , except that it seems too short and meaningless to express what we wanna convey .For one-Its not just a new year which we wanna be the happy one and for two our New year is already celebrated as Diwali.
Again as per the calender we follow its ofcourse its new in writing and it would be few days when we are gonna be accustomed to see 12 at the 7-8th position of the date field.Yet thats not all the change we are looking forward to..isnt it? Then why its very exciting the thought of new year, ofcourse celebrations lend few colours to life. Yet its more about "Change" element associated with this particular big event which will be coming in every life that we look forward to. Every year for 2 days -the first day of year and my B'Day ..It feel as if a new era, a new time is starting in my life cause either I'll remember events in terms of years I lived or in terms of age I was at the time. So these two always come with a detail glance back to the year gone, to the year coming and what I wanna it to be like.From I would ensure each moment from now onwards to be just the best one ever, to all good decisions, to giving my best, to the mixed analysis at the end-that it was okay-gave some great moments and some great wisdom and understanding and that I am not that stupid anymore. N I look forward to entering the new phase of life all renewed , nothing from the past having any imprint or shade in the coming days. As if the life was a discreet time event restarting every year with new initial conditions.Probably better in terms of wisdom and in better shape and position, (ofcourse we were stupid every previous year starting point) and the hope and piousness of the coming gifted time.Surprisingly the entire year seems too small which was gone- much smaller than it is in theory -and most surprisingly any big giant change never seems big anymore.Seems like it had always been like this always.And we wanna convey that its the new start a restart , which has no bearing of past-isnt it great -u can bring all the change you ever wished for ... So lemme wish all my friends and dear one's -this new start to be great one -may all the greatness u have achieved till now be with you and may all your dreams be accomodated in the coming one year........

The little steps to Learning ...........Starts with patience and repeated attempts.

Its sometime that I realised the importance of simple steps that lead to anything you wish.Well its not any creepy philosophical muttering, its just that a bigtime dabbler /dilettante that I find myself to be at times-be it arts, drawing, music-vocals or instruments writing-poems or prose or danceforms for that matter-i somehow had a misgiving for not following even a single little wish outta of big giant wishlist for long. Well here I am from past few months for few days following each of my wish for a few days.....n lemme tell u its really pretty amazing . Though it lasted less then noticiable amount of time -still for so much harpings -its great. Its then and there I realise that when u are ready to learn something ,really learn something , no matter what may be the time required, effort I know everybody is ready and willing to invest some x hours if assured that it will lead to there dream wish . But no its no some short cut 30hour programme I am talking of , Its like if told -u continue ur little efforts and surely its gonna teach you what u wish to learn and u live with it.The moment u gather this knowledge, patience and understanding ur done.Well be it daily Paltas practice to mould your voice to that of a singer-fine, strechable and melodious;be it drawing daily goemetrical patterns to take out the artiste in you - refine ur hold on pencil and the sketches you make-lines, circles, spirals;be it working on the flexibility of your body and control on your movements to attain the grace of a dancer; be it working on the concepts and problem till you get your maths right;be it practicing and practicing the right motions that can ultimately lead you to -oops not flying but swimming.
Here all of this -needs patience , assurance and understanding on your part . Its not some newfound Gyan -that makes me go -Eureka, eureka -infact I am pretty sure the message must be there in zillion books-in million different ways -but you learn when you understand its true meaning - that we all can understand. You never appreciate some 100 lines enlisting maths and logics behind any great discovery -till you go about discovering that thing on your own and struggle and fume your mind with all alternatives and then come back to see how actually it was achieved -its the appreciation you hold in your heart then is what I am talking about -when you really understand the beauty and simplicity of it.

So go for urself and find the beauty of the way devised.Its like when your zealous , u truly wish to learn something -u learn it for sure. We all have stories of how resourceless person nextdoor devised a brand new beautiful method to fulfill what he always cherished.Well I heard about a boy who wanted to play Guitaar, when not provided one by Mom, he made a guitaar for his own and guess what -it was the best Guitaar ever made,with all companies coming to him for design and royalties.........

well World's an amazing place, with no dearth of such exquisite examples ..........

Emma's tale...

She too had a battle to wage
she too had problems to solve
she too had the bills to pay
she too had to live life lonely
she too aspired for job security
not that any of it was acknowledged
she too had to bear brunt of time
yet she put up smile to assure, she was alive
though in a battlefield..
battle half won, incessant
Her name was Emma,
her only fault -She was girl!!
So she fought battles never ending, battles with no face
no person, no enemy, no viewable end
battles with no logic, no reasoning,no humanity
not even was she ever an acknowledged warrior
she knew she was, by the each blow she got
for Emma it was a strange place
she was so very alive in her own world
then where she lived
suppressing her wonders, her joy
she no longer danced or hymed
whenever her heart felt like;
as the unknown enemy can blow her apart
the fight must go on, to protect- deny her own self
she had wanted a meaningful life
a life worthwhile in her terms
not in the prevailing fancied notions
she had to reconcile
cause live for others was the whole dictum
Ah! it was a lifelong preoccupation
for sshe was Emma, Emma a girl
all customs and traditions she represented
all high ideals and purity, were hers to portray
yet she was a worthless as a being
only the ideals were coherent, meaningful and worthy
the ideals she was meant to live, long before she was born
what to do of being real and its dreams
what could she do, to be in peacce
for the battles manifolds had to be waged
though a girl she was, Emma -with such a beautiful name.........

Behind the Government quarters, lives "John"-the ideal Man!!

Behind those Government quarters , besides the trees
lives a man, his name is John
very decent and kind, helping and polite
ever-ready to work and oblige
He never took a bribe
never drank liquor
never indulged in cigars futile
obediently served the society
only that he dint knew
all is not right with the concept of right
to fight is wrong, so he never fought
to others for sure,
to him never stopped
just left or held silence
that were his only ways
but something was extremely wrong
about being extremely right
he couldn't say for sure
what guilt he carried
as he lived his life
any wrong doing could have killed
him by his own conscience
yet in result, he had to fight
his own self and dreams
yes! indeed he had dreams, he was alive
not naive,not dull or futile
well read, well behaved, a gentleman
slightly peculiar yet worthwhile
ashamed to follow his mind unabashedly
he had to take others along, agreeing and on his side
thats what lead to no-where
thats why he was never himself, never satisfied
and clueless where he was wrong in being too right.....
John , living in his government quarter
with unchanging type...........

Only time will tell........Jeffery Archer

So this is a novel set in the backdrop of world war era in Britain, story of Harry -
and children going about their education with the vision to shape their future to be something other than what was handed down to them from the first world war and the
inevitable social incongruities. So Harry an ordinary boy of not so well to do family-who has to lick the bowl of soup of his uncle as his breakfast, has no other notion of
future other than working as a commoner in the ship-dock his uncle worked, ofcourse living the same life of meagerness to the rest of his life and few great people trapped in their own little large worries of uncertain events in life. Most beautifully all the good hearted people doing whatever in their means to ensure the boy Harry -gets a chance he so much deserves then the waste his days presently were.
His schoolmaster, his mother, Old Jack , Miss Monday .......all come together to coax and cajole and inspire the kid on the so called work hard routine to get entry into the well known names of higher education n dignity of world - namely focused around Oxford in this case. Though the characters , circumstances and events are amazingly interwoven - the impression left with me after finishing the book - is how similar it looked some 100's of years before then is today to get admission in any such highly reputed college. Having gone through various such uncertainties over a period of time in a good college, enough grades to pass and again pulling through an entrance exam - it nowhere seemed to be outdated or set in another world. Either we have incorporated the British influence so much to shape our country and never could improve on any further to have a lasting change- or somehow the hundred years makes not very visible difference to the world . Anyways Harry , Emma, Giles and Deakins -all in their own ways seeking and getting an entry into the world of wonders and dreams-Oxford, Somehow it was delightful , heart-touching though having a tragic end.........Cant wait to read the other 3 books of Harry's journey......
Archer is ofcourse an impressive writer with ability to indulge the viewers .....!!! nice read....

A Mask and Cable.......

with a mask and a cable I left XYZ,
Mask given to protect employees from flu ,
which nobody will return
cable i forgot in my room ,
being useless was taken out of the lappy bag
today both the mask n the cable
r inseparable part of my room
donno whats d use
it aint memory to preserve
just they lie there
with some history associated
a simple beautiful mask
n a equally beautiful cable

Midnight in Paris

Ok its kindda funny to see the extent of romanticism and fantasy one can take.To be honest I am a big dreamer -dreamer of magical world full of all biggest n brightest historical things and Roman and greek art, architecture,tales, sculpture and wonders. It all seems so very perfect and impressive - well who aint is marvelled by reading of these greatness-but somewhow somewhere it cant be to watch and witness all at one time,you have to draw a line somewhere between real and illusion, as u cant possibly go on living an imagery; so I presume . Anyways so in this movie -this hero gets to visit the "bygone age", he considers to be the Golden age, in his most beloved city of Paris-where he wants to settle and loves everything about it. His zeal is not at all shared by his to be fiancée -she thinks him to be insane to have these ideas -but guess what? our time tussle drops in, the hero goes to the different era-the 20th century by sitting in a strange cab -lets assume it to be some kind of time machine and gets to meet all the great historical writers he ever admired in person , meets Pablo Picasso and Eliot and all n no. of such big names you always associate with the 20th century as big figures of their time. He soon finds that " true love gives the courage to forget the fear of death", which he is always gripped with and hence seems to be a sadist. Further he comes to know the beauty to find a person who somehow shares every interest and passion as u ....who just fits in with your fantasies and is the true soul-mate -ofcourse if u put it in fantasy lingo.
OK so he returns back to his present time thats 21st century-2010 to be precise, breaks up with his to be fiancée -gets to know what note to take on the book he's writing with the help of the 20th century writer's remarks.Ofcourse it was not the best movies ever made, it was not even close to hold the interest if ur 1% realist I presume. But if ur insane enough to hear to ur weird cravings of the other perfect world ,getting on somewhere around some part of universe or maybe by time space continuum right now simultaneously or parallely somewhere, you wanna know the meaning of life and wish to live in just the world as u would like it to be; u somehow come to believe the story -ridiculously u are with the main hero in his disconnect with his pushy GF , her cynicism of his book, his uncertainty whether to follow his dreams of writing or to head to the continuous push to get back to script writing in Hollywood -at which he's pretty successful. You are always hoping he should not give up his quest of fantasy world ...


Somehow somewhere we all cherish the thoughts of being in the world , we dream of ,tempting however it be but as a reality it must be testing.Optimism for a sadist is a big deal-its just out of his immediate nature.You cant live in future , u cant live in past -what u have to live in is the present .You can take ideas and inspiration from the fascinating past and you can put ur imagery and fancy for the future.But present is where ur world and action is . What would it be like to know that what ur living is possibily the best you have always had in mind and have ever hoped for.

hell lot of a day...

This was hell lot of a day...I would say , I wud like my each day to be like this
starting at 6:30 to swimming , to lakeside and songs to sleep again at 8:30 -
bharatnatyam at 10 and then lab and work there till 9 and then 3 movies back to back ..
woah lemme take my holidays on this note.........:)


Well I think this must be modified as most memorable days spent in IIT.........

2nd in chain happened on last Thursday thats 5th Jan - my bhai's B'Day .....after roaming around for 5 hours 7 pm to 11 pm in campus, Nathoos @HIranandani and H8 Brewberry's and with long weekend in store - had a Sketching night out with Amit and Shreyansh - learnt to make basic painting and tried hands on sketching - till 5 am on 6th Jan then went to lake side then hill side and then optimal control class - 2 meetigns and slept at 3 to wake up at 8 and went to see Pronight show - it was good ......njoyed loads in all - happy happy weekend........with Kritika's B'Day and the farzi dances we viewed to bakar till 4 on phone.ahaa loved d 3 days...........

God must be crazy??

What was with the movie God must be crazy?? The narrative was really funny n so was the perspective and the handiness of the things at one place..I hate overdoing of coincidences , yet here it was not so much of an eye sour ....It kindda ended on a note where it should end......Good the buggerman gets to dispose off the evil he seeked to throw , see's gods in person and ofcourse the end of the world ;oops I meant the place where earth comes to an end and abode of God starts :)..
And the civilised world carries on with its chaotic notes - ofcourse without any need of faith or belief or categorisation or classification , forget of elimination , of evil.......it just kept feeding to the complexity it somehow originated to make life simple. Simpler than what was handed down to them by the very God - whoever he be n however he intended it to be......
n now the journey has come so far that the meaning of life is somewhere int his complexity - rest all is so trivial n inconsiderable..........maybe its just that heaven was the life of those of buggerman ........n we out-off nowhere showed germs of ingenuity to create the antiheaven.......n we are still Zealously are onto the job........Bingo the end would be anti-heaven for sure- God see what we can make.........lolz...donno lemme just let it go for a while.......

Never realised.........

Never realised what maturity is , what it means that life goes on. why the threads of life are always embeddded with celebrations and celebrations with songs n food .Never realised that life is not a fullstop ; its not a single book with a fixed storyline and lifetime - it never ends......Never realised -what love means, how strong are the ties of trust and human bondings, what drives our decisions , our choices and our aimbitions .I so much love the life I have been bestowed -protected, cared and loved by my family and friends.Wherever I go -its with a notion, I am safe, loved and wanted.Not alone to face any harsh cruel world out there, there is my Mom-with the best delicious dishes for me-the moment I step in the house. My father with his little fond smile at me-that makes me feel blessed .How much I can thank u my lord.My sisters -the best pals I can cry my heart out on any and everything and my little bro to whom I can act like hitler yet he will listen to me.How much I love my friends teasings and pamperings .Isnt it funny I would ever want to be serious in life?what for? Hey whenever I see a tragedy in books or movies -I cry my heart out, I cant imagine living in that circumstances.
Yet something matures in me, in thoughts and understanding. When it comes to a full life- I do wanna see the beautiful celebrations that people can jot their life with .The fond memories and chit-chats.There's much more to the life and the world than what one can ever love,Yet u come to love so many facets.The question of belongingness, of homeland,of places u lived and grew up.There's no common rule , there's no common standards -its all sos customised -mixed with the signs of lord -n some miraculous notions-that lend the meaning and change and colours to human life.Different countries different cultures , different viewpoint-yet its this instant that's all so beautiful. Maybe I can capture the essence of this moment on reflect on as the experience worth remembering.

U'll never get what u imagine-yet somehow whatever u'll be in-will be just right, filling the missing links and leading to an end only one of a kind.

Princess Sara

n There's this story of a little Princess
Princess in real, princess in deeds , princess indeed
Sara is her name, imagination is her way
and she can create the grandiose by her words
Oh little charming world, of a little angelic Gal
n "every Gal is princess " she says
n it rings a chord , it sounds a bell
just where was ur wishes were kept locked away
oh common u grumpy lady - let it be gone
for Sara is the princess n so we all
in the world that we are meant to be in.............
Stories of Rama , Context of India
cant you trust the fancy and live it more ??
for here is the Princess Sara
n so she says "That Princess is all what we are"..........

Isnt it wonderful

Isn't it a great idea -to follow your heart!!! Do what your heart says, live the life u always imagine it to be.Today watching this movie "Confessions of Shopaholic" -very remote from questions of heart and mind and choices and what we end up doing with our life ofcourse.Yet somehow at 1 am -when I am very much supposed to be sleeping - I cant just let it go -there's this urgent need to write-to settle up something -which escaped options and answers from way too long.Ok how many times in your life u have end up deciding a way too extreme alternative-like ok I wont purchase anything this month or ok I'll read 12 hours a day or I wont talk anymore or wont utter a word n blah blah blah........only too see yourself spending way too more then u usually do, wasting away entire day in tensions or maybe days or blabbing out all which u would never had in your sane self.Well this ain't a distant story of some mad gal - this is what I have been every single day every single time,I took a resolution in protest to something .Thats right -protest in response to something u just cant let go - u cant just feel right - u just cant mold yourself to be like - yet the terms dictate that the roots are the very same - so u opt for extremes - ofcourse within heart of hearts u know - its not u - you are killing something in u - as u take the blunt decisions to do someone a favor , to buy peace of mind , to be acceptable to society n people nearby , to conform to whatever preachings whoever sermons out loud.
Fine u do realize the values of many things very later in life people do mess up them self to the point where there's no turning back .There are mistakes which leave many if's and but's .yet somehow this movie felt like a liberating experience -this years of killing of self to conform- leaves a cluelessness as if a hole - which u cant find , cant pinpoint - there's this constant need of conformance n approval by society -that is a vicious loop. Consequence ? Tend to exaggerate every single event -think of worst n live that imaginary dread -every single day u wake up n every single time u go to bed......n ofcourse 24 hours of the day -for as long as it takes to be obsessed with any other event .Then comes a point when u realise -everything's gonna be alright in the end that no matter how hard u try that all people should genuinely feel on your death pyre that u were a nice person - happy memory's , no hurting .But whatever u do there will be dissatisfied souls out there - turning there wrath on u - an easy target -for whatever freaking reasons n fears they might have or might have faced in their life's . n it really doesn't matter - how many walk besides, as u take your last breath - what matters is- how many life's get better cause u r alive.Of course its not a well laid out mathematical equation - that u follow this route - n woah u have made lives better .Its infact such a vague concept like you are living a dream - maybe when you are trying to be logical n are hence skeptical -u feel u r too nautanki to be real. When u doubt -are u of any good ? When u question you are very existence, when u feel -if only u could get away from the world-without hurting anyone, without burdening anyone , just being you -just somehow living on your own, and leaving no trace behind - maybe that would be the best life ever lived . cause i hate fuss n complications.Yet the very other day - u long for friends , u roll out tears on single delay in your loved one's phone calls on your important day - as if nobody loved u , you are a burden -somehow somewhere .Like no matter what u do - its gonna be huge mess -like its all such a waste ....Then this is not what I call inspiration. To sit smart all knowing n all aware type being - we a,, will always love - but thats very dead -however blunt it may sound . I would trade places with any being - to become a very calm, poised n silent person - but it leaves a big hole n blackness inside - it feels like being stupid .I would have always thought of this when vague instants of insanity beholds me so often -but it always leaves so much thoughts behind- a feeling of being wise n a feeling of life is all over . Then sunrise , sunset , trees and plants - butterflies , boulders n stars - are not just beauty of nature or the mark of perfection of the world of the mighty God -but they represent you in your various moods n instants -when they are your companions in this life - inspiring and ever present .When my little stupid jokes makes even one smile - I feel I am worthy of life . Well so much so I hate this market cost benefit worth analysis - when it comes to life n time - its what I need - call it search for meaning - its always in terms goodness behind .Oh its not what I wanted to write - I don't know what was the whole point - some point I had come to as the ultimate conclusion for now - oh yes -it was if only we knew what we want to do and did it - everything will seem alright - like in the movie . But somebody tell me -what about those
who want to take their own paths? Well we'll do - if only we knew for sure - so this surety thing is what stuck's us all??Maybe - the clarity is still to dawn ...........
till then .....bbies

Time/Memory/Faith Tradeoff.........

Time/Memory tradeoff works in real world, isnt it? U have memory but u dont devout time
ur screwed.Or u give ample time , but memory lacks -oops again ur undone. So is it all to do with time and memory ? Or there's any other factor controlling the two . Faith,confidence,acceptance,belief whatever way u put it, is one single factor which decides much more than the other two combined. You put time , ur very good memory-u dont believe in yourself....boom ..ur memory and time both fail to the effective tools or resource.So if we put it in a expression the contribution of confidence is exponential
if other two are linear. This faith is very basis of human existence.....Cant marvel it more ....anyways will come back to this later...gotta go .....till then ..bbies

Weird Timepass

do people really are bad??
do they take advantage of u
change their stand - the moment ur luck turns
what is friendhsip - help n compassion
what is faith , belief and trust
either u follow it or u dont
or is it again - shades n tones
ahh its a weird question , a weird timepass
n such a wastage, of time n space
there's indeed a wide gap
in what u would like the world to be
and what it actually is
the best moments of life
are when u expect least
n are bestowed love , care and respect
from those u have great feelings in ur heart
whom u like as good people
reliable and whom u can cry ur heart out
yet u doubt -what if its just taking advantage?
can u live trying to run away from every being
to be in a world of ur own
ofcourse away from what u fear world is
a plot by all to take advantage of u
what i have learnt is - its all bull -shit
if u just do what u wanna do -
take no extra pains n efforts n no burden for any question like this
n just be the best u can be
things usually are in control.
But the more selflessness u show
the more it hurts
when ur abhorred
the more u try to care
the more villaneous out u become there
n r projected n suspected to be
just mind ur own business
let those who distrust call u any name
u do ur best- live ur best
donno whats the right way
but live the beauty u want world to be
rest let it be..its all so meaningless
yet there's one who understands the sacred existence
as the world is a mirage of incomprehensible variables.

Rome was not built in a day......

My Dady says "Rome was not built in a day". Somehow that keeps popping in my head whenever I see
a building being made, some gigantic task seemingly going no-where. This simple remark then is the solace n patience to wait for my hands to see each brick culminating into the most beautiful piece of art and architecture ever built.Sometimes it is so refreshing-that the hope n spirit of world keeps circulating - in forms of sayings n literature. SOmewhere someone has already lived through what you are undergoing. SOmeone out there would have created there heavens from the very same bricks thrown at them as u fear u might have to face........wow isnt it amazing that once fear is gone n to do is the only way u can see- how beautiful u feel afterwards that oh is it me..have I done that, its so wonderful............

Hope this feeling lasts n I do lay a few bricks here n there......Amen!!!

Whats this fancy with Brain?

Ok -whats so obsession with brain and its functioning. Somehow somewhere we all are convinced that brain can do lot more than what we are making it to do.That we can use on an average hardly 2-3% n reknowned scientist can employ atmost 5% of its capacity, being gud at maths we all know what 100% would be constituting. So this simple little fact happens to be most fascinating topic -whenever presented, never a matter of cliche, every time we keep on guessing, fascinating on the possibilities ....till we are done with it for a while, to start with another normal day , but why is it that it never occurs to us that it could be bullshit.

why today, tomorrow, a day after -every time there's this acute fascination to what it entails.n if there's a way to slightly n slowly increase it to the levels unseen-what might be the way? well meditation?-too slow, contemplation-well u got to be kidding!! medication?-oops now thats an unknown territory -I am no author of movie Limitless to have complete faith on the notions like this, though that happens to be the trigger behind this babble-yet somehow its like being stuck at a puzzle -unable to solve, unable to leave behind n move on; its like on the verge of declaring life as meaningless n suddenly witnessing God's own form ; ok I cant say for sure -where this debate n fascination will lead to-considering that I am not sure even I am using 3% of my brain - n ofcourse many will debate on its usage on at all too ; yet lets just get over our temptations for a moment n try to see whats that constitutes this abundance of inkling for this particular organ of human body; I know the most glorified n controller n all the blah blah.........well still lemme just see where this fancy turns to me again n maybe then I may have some new insights or reivsed stand on this notion........till then stay in store......au revoir!!! :)

Antitrust

In the series of movies - when it comes "Antitrust", I have a particular liking for this movie,one -for its technological backdrop and two- cause of its happy ending. Ok in this movie it so happens that the two genius geeky nerdy guys of most reputed technological college -like stanford n MIT, working in the garage and believing in the ideas of open source - sure to make a big difference in the world, are working on opening an startup to make a difference .But one of them gets a call from the CEO of the most famous technological company -monopolising every product in the market.Grandoise, personal attention n huge paycheck-all at once. He takes the job breaking the most strongest bonds of friendship in between them. The other guy is murdered for the breakthrough he achieves in the code he is writing.
But the moment the guy realises that the CEO and his people are actually killers hacking into systems of all geeks, collecting all kinds of data of all geeky guys on the verge of some prospective breakthrough in codes, they steal the code and murder the guy.

So despite all odds and all kinds of barriers , he finally manages to put them behind bars, using their own latest connect all devices n transmit any kind of data supportes by giant satellite network to broadcast the video of murders and the truth behind the facades of the company to the world.........
U could feel ur heart skip a beat, every time he had to go into the prohibited areas n how he overcomes all barriers to give the bad guys their due..........

The Smurfs

So watching this movie about mythological blue creatures of ever present n abundant joy,
and ofcourse one wicked wizard in the otherwise most heavenic scene, as in every fable- the wicked tries to destroy all the good to become the most powerful person oops wizard. n the little creatures fight him back n defeat him because of the virtues inherent in them
and team work. I am no management guru proclaiming the benefits of team work but yes here the word is more of cliche. nyways what imparted the movie elegance n joy was the colours, songs and flowers n water being used as the medium of expression of the tale.
Sitting in ur cozy bed, sipping a cup of tea in morning while the mystical world unravels of secret abode of colorful life of small blue creatures and there chance
encounter with the pompous humane world and the outcome of the best of two ........
wow it was like listening to Dadi's fairy tale -in a cold morning n enchanted in the possibilities of beauty all around...........loved the muvie!!!

Erin Brockovich

Today I watched Erin Brockovich -Julia Roberts, as always a stupendous performance.SO its a story of a single Mom of 3 children, 10 yrs, 8 yrs n few months...uneducated, unemployed having a tough time raising her children n struggling for job to arrange the money.
Till the time she decides not to be bent according to wishes of males in her life, but to do where she finds meaning in her life, respect for herself.So stumbling on a job of doc keeper in a law firm, she discover a 38billion dollar firm doing grave assault on life by hiding the fact that their plant uses a form of
chromium thats toxic and has led to various kinds of deadly diseases to inhabitants in the nearby area, while investigating a real state issue of a family being offered some small amount in offer to sell their house.

She discovers the link of land n disease, researches the roots, gives people the faith and gets them the justice earning respect and meaning in turn.

In between she has to struggle for her children don't understand why she has to put herself so occupied, her new found love insists its no need to carry on with the job
his boss that the case cant be handled by them .......she manages to get them all addressed in most inspiring manner.Not dogged down by threatening call , neither by
the prospect of loosing it all.........here she was doing the best what could ever be done.
The unrelenting attitude and straight faced answers she could give to shitty remarks of people , u just loved her responses making the ridiculous comments of others dump on their own faces. The confidence -"my research has no loop holes" "ask me whose no u want" out of 635 people inhabiting the area since the plant was established "tell them I am not a lawyer" on the question of being trusted, "multiply the cost of ur intestine by 100 , no less then that would be negotiable" when intimidated by the company's lawyers.
.The magnanimity of the character - is just enthralling n u could imagine urself stepping in her shoes n fighting for the people .

Present that it is...............

Today all of a sudden filled with great new insights again.....I wanna pen down what is on my mind, thats what blogs are for. Sometimes when u know knowbody is ever gonna read it-u can take liberty to write whatever ur whim decides,assuming it to be the case I start on most optimistic notes.
The thing is I watched Kung fu Panda -n few of the dialogues in it -where real superb. Starting with the dream -"there is no charge for awesumness and attractiveness" that fun mood was set . Then the Panda -"detesting the idea of being me n living like me forever".well as u can associate any symbolic meaning to anything, it tempted me with associating it as the fear of people dying unknown unaware of what their destiny is-but living a sad monotone each day -to get along where they happen to be.OK the great master n his solemn belief on all things -on universe, its energy, on being driven by the world, n the universe directing ur ways - the inner peace it imparts. All such ideas that seem like the dream where flowers n petals adorn the way u walk, Hope and insight holds holds ur hand always,broadest universal is ur outlook; making the mightiest of things in the most elegant n composed speed like a beautiful dream . I luved the peach tree scenes n conversations there....lying down finding the inner peace -which directs ur each action of perfection. Then when post historic moment n manner of being chosen as the dragon warrior -when the panda struggles 3 days -as "true warriors never leave", only to say later -"watch this" , trying to run away n being told his own dialogue.
Then our hero, emerges to be quick to spot the ways to work -for the candy-so banal!!!ok not candy - but momos-only to be revealed that the myth of secret universal energy is u-
now somewhere somehow we want to believe this very statement n idea-only to go hap-hazard-overburn ourselves-get dejected n lost-n carry a burden on our inner being maybe a plastic monotonity to carry on..........n then one fine day , not overexerted with little to do's of daily life - when we see a movei like this - we relive our fancy n ideas of
what it ought to be like-why it seems like this was always the idea we were living with then how we ever forgot it, still a smile -rather inner smile n peace of mind whole day -makes u see the beauty all around.

I forgot all about the dialogues-lost in ruminiscence-ok here are others---
"There are no accidents"......
"thats why yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery n today is the present"
what better way to put it, the best part is all the words-history , mystery and present are not normal words-many ideas sprout in ur vivid imagery on each of them-
history u take interest in as an scholar-not more then that-not affected , no impact-mystery u look forward to -are amused as it unravels-n captivates the spirit of
continuation (maybe untill u get the divine gyan-knowledge is no comparison to gyan -isnt it)

छिप-छिप अश्रु बहाने वालों- गोपालदास "नीरज" (Gopaldas Neeraj)

छिप-छिप अश्रु बहाने वालों, मोती व्यर्थ बहाने वालों
कुछ सपनों के मर जाने से, जीवन नहीं मरा करता है |
सपना क्या है, नयन सेज पर
सोया हुआ आँख का पानी
और टूटना है उसका ज्यों
जागे कच्ची नींद जवानी
गीली उमर बनाने वालों, डूबे बिना नहाने वालों
कुछ पानी के बह जाने से, सावन नहीं मरा करता है |

माला बिखर गयी तो क्या है
खुद ही हल हो गयी समस्या
आँसू गर नीलाम हुए तो
समझो पूरी हुई तपस्या
रूठे दिवस मनाने वालों, फटी कमीज़ सिलाने वालों
कुछ दीपों के बुझ जाने से, आँगन नहीं मरा करता है |

खोता कुछ भी नहीं यहाँ पर
केवल जिल्द बदलती पोथी
जैसे रात उतार चाँदनी
पहने सुबह धूप की धोती
वस्त्र बदलकर आने वालों, चाल बदलकर जाने वालों
चँद खिलौनों के खोने से, बचपन नहीं मरा करता है |

लाखों बार गगरियाँ फ़ूटी,
शिकन न आयी पर पनघट पर
लाखों बार किश्तियाँ डूबीं,
चहल पहल वो ही है तट पर
तम की उमर बढ़ाने वालों, लौ की आयु घटाने वालों,
लाख करे पतझड़ कोशिश पर, उपवन नहीं मरा करता है।

लूट लिया माली ने उपवन,
लुटी ना लेकिन गंध फ़ूल की
तूफ़ानों ने तक छेड़ा पर,
खिड़की बंद ना हुई धूल की
नफ़रत गले लगाने वालों, सब पर धूल उड़ाने वालों
कुछ मुखड़ों के की नाराज़ी से, दर्पण नहीं मरा करता है।


One of the best poems I ever read ..........

आशा का दीपक -दिनकर

वह प्रदीप जो दीख रहा हइ झिलमिल, दूर नहीं है;
थककर बैठ गये क्या भाई! मंज़िल दूर नहीं है।

चिनगारी बन गयी लहू की बूँद जो पग से;
चमक रहे, पीछे मुड़ देखो, चरण-चिन्ह जगमग से।
शुरू हुई आराध्य-भुमि यह, क्लान्ति नहीं रे राही;
और नहीं तो पाँव लगे हैं क्यों पड़ने दगमग से?
बाकी होश तभी तक जब तक जलता तूर नहीं है;
थककर बैठ गये क्या भाई! मंज़िल दूर नहीं है।

अपनी हड्डी की मशाल से हृदय चीरते तम का,
सारी रात चले तुम दुख झेलते कुलिश का।
एक खेय है शेष, किसी विध पार उसे कर जाओ;
वह देखो, उस पार चमकता है मन्दिर प्रियतम का।
आकर इतना पास फिरे, वह सच्चा शूर नहीं है;
थककर बाइठ गये क्या भाई! मंज़िल दूर नहीं है।

दिशा दीप्त हो उठी प्राप्त कर पुण्य-प्रकाश तुम्हारा,
लिखा जा चुका अनल-अक्षरों में इतिहास तुम्हारा।
जिस मिट्टी ने लहू पिया, वह फूल खिलाएगी ही,
अम्बर पर घन बन छाएगा ही उच्छ्वास तुम्हारा।
और अधिक ले जाँच, देवता इतन क्रूर नहीं है।
थककर बैठ गये क्या भाई! मंज़िल दूर नहीं है।

Motivation

Well its about IIT Faculties .....

U own a solution not the problem ...n what is more important ?? Problem!!!
so attack the problem in its originality - let the bandwagon go its way - ur not a fly to rush with multitudes....create something of ur own solution n proudly patent it n keep it for aeon's .thats simply unimportant for world the thing is in finding the unique problem n appreciating in a original manner.That comes from CS faculty Gumaste Sir.

Sarva Sir with his infinite coolness n goodness is favorite of one and all.
Its like you have given a mentor than guide.You yourself are ashamed if u din't do something required before meeting him.He is a genious - n a great motivator.

Agashe Sir -his presence entails decades of experience dealing with all
kind of student's. He is way ahead than all your lame excuses. Though he
can try to be serious he is damn gentle at heart. His own little tweeks n remarks here n there teaches you way more than any textbook can ever .
He commands respect n infinite liking of all his students.

HP Sir is God, I am yet to attend a full fledged course of his. Yet he is one person of whom students are scared of. Yet he is one of the best faculties
in the Insti, his video lectures can easily be the guide of how to tackle doubts of students . n how to approach the logics n funda's of any topic.He is an inspiration.

Like wise Sule sir's concern of impact of everything on national issues ...eg cryptography etc. In this front DC fails to inspire maybe cause he's not too much into idealism n his own unique way of sarcasm is an instant push....but whatever motivation is a great factor in iit proff's..its infectious.........luving being@IIT!!!!!

not just Vector space.......whats in a Space

Are u Normal - has changed its meaning with new dimensions and conjugates attached
properties to see n associate
when vector space is all around and spanning it needs full rank
nullity .........
no I can say - I am not Normal
Unitary?? Oh Don ask.......
how about nilpotent - well stop there n then
Normal would be fine
just to define
The Space is Euclidean or Riemannian
who cares less??
till u can have a notion of Operators n Functionals
don ruin the fun -of geometric interpretation
Like a line within circle being a tangent
n Circle just not being finite
thats not the type
lets go back
to check eigen values
n characteristic equations
n find the kernel -to define the world
change ur basis -if it don fit
check for bijection/isomorphism
but first of all check for linear independence
whats so special of monic polynomial
is it something like being minimal
or whats with this companion form
and A-invariant subspace

What is the way from A to B...........

I remember one day in life when it haunted me in my dreams......What is the way from A to B...........with an exam at hand and scooter to checkout the teacher who can explain the question to me , in 7th or 6th standard , it all seemed funny to me that day....what kind of question is it??

Now some 15 years after that day - today its all around me -
Ask me what is the way from A to be B - I'll put up lot more questions back to u - which network is it ur talking in terms of , which kind of architecture and devices u have at hand .....n all the blah blah ......no more it is a weird meaningless dream ,its a reality with lot of answers and associated complexities associated. Today sitting in class - when the proff asked the same question ,as mine 15years back I cudn't help but smile at myself .with a fond memory - What is the way from A to B...........!!!!!n the green scooter i drove that day seeking person who can explain me the question at first place......

Today it can be a graph theory question , a routing question n god knows what all n what not......


Indeed strange are some events in life....with no explanation ,yet what we can feel of it n associate to them ......

I am really surprised by these small nuances that keep on coming quite often .spanning years n life's.....!!!

i refuse

i refuse to take tension in life
i refuse to follow the line
i refuse to give u a fake smile
i refuse to wait till it subsides
i refuse to be blind
i refuse to be captivated by unforseen future
i refuse to judge me by ur standards
i refuse to disbelief in wishes
i refuse to take the word impossible
i refuse to stop questions
i refuse to tread the way u visualize
i do what i want in life
i do whatever catches my fancies
i do what i find worth doing
enough people are in the race
i wont be a part of it
enough people die each day
i'll live till my breath last
enough tamasha is around
lemme just simplify my world
will u see where it leads
will u object if its bliss
will u follow ur own whims
will u propagate rumours against self help
go ahead - but lemme just live mine
ideas n tasks that actually
lend meaning to some life
provides a way to follow the dreams
lessens pain around n inspires millions
following blindly - the mad race
against life , against time n againt world
lemme just seek the path - i trust
custommade for each as per the person........




world don need nymore resources
let just people have scope, to be out of box

thanks ........

thanku for ur infinite care
thanku for patient listening
its just so wonderful to know u exist
so far- but there -with ur loads of love
pampering n teasing n uplifting my spirits
like a rock to lean on
don't u know - what i feel
but u do - ur remarks
ur exquisite laugh
seems all in agreement
ohh how can i tell - how much i love u
shall i run to meet u
to see u n chit chat
oh my dear - how many thanks
u are just so different n pleasant
n the elegant , the flowery tongue ur bestowed with
just cant stop laughing
ur a bliss to the eyes
so lively n so alive
so smart , yet like a child
wanna hold u forever - n listen to ur pranks
stylo no 1 - my hero
thanks tons for being there for me..

universal brotherhood

they could never have disrupted ur nerves , had u been ready for the shock
do strangers ever run ur world ?? when they do - ur doomed
how could they decide for u , when they are so unaware
maybe one size fits all rule cant leave the docile mind
haah..friendship n love n thy tests.........
which one to take n which to leave
ridiculuos is ur outlashing
for the champions of universal brotherhood
i want to put a question mark
at the very end of brotherhood??
which brotherhood n why brotherhood only??
is it again a gender-bias,
shall i call it humanhood then
baah - its so useless- its just a hood
where's the human to enclose in a hood??
or all are already draped in a veil
donno - i would like to see the naked face
behind the roudy conduct
i would love to know the why's of acts n thoughts
for most lofty notion of "humanhood"
needs some lofty analysis
theres no question of sisterhood??
cause how does it matters anyways
man has been ruling the world
bar 1 or 2 glitches
n its harmony there we seek
universal" is again a catch
i would love to broaden the span of the world
isnt it intriguing myth- "world's a temple"
full of well wishers - playing n laughing n celebrations
well -have u heard of obsession
where will it fit in the string

love an amazing word

well isnt love is just amazing -
when ur gripped in its magic
u cant see - the obvious
for u r totally into dreams n stars n charm
n flowers n moon n sea
suddenly the world is filled with smiling people, loving couples
joy all over , trust , faith n love
u see the world as most beautiful thing ever
ur paralysed by its impact
justifying ur stand n state


then when its gone with a bang
the emotions are again irrestraintable
incessant childish cry
as if repurifying act
suddenly all will be practical
there will be ways of the world
there will be tasks to do n targets to meet
there will be uncaring world
n u'll see urself -out of the world moving
as an unwanted n uncared for entity
ur existence will seem gloom


so love consistently - either ur work or ur lover
but do love - for its whats d essence of world

T party .........

T party has always been my favourite , anywhere and everywhere in this world. I loved T as a child and almost all my gr8 frns have shared most evenings sipping hot steaming tea with me..n I fondly remember those days when i remember them......it was t party of boston that led people gather n unite for a gr8 cause of American Independence and so is the case with T parties all over-they are purposeful and memorable simultaneuosly..time gone when we used to invite people to have a tea at our home , that way the socialising went those days

Life -a beauty

World's indeed a beauty
so is the Life
but like any other movie
Villain always lies
deep within, hidden and hurting
paining your conscience
U march with airy passion
u dwindle with fuming heart
u learn , u enjoy, u cherish
u cry, u explode, u perish
and still u get driven
drifted to a new fairyland's fancy
seeking refuge in the inexistent
u the same -the architect
of ur own world , ur own dreams
ur search never stops ...
yet thoughts turn insane
n darkest time accompanies the fears
indulging in useless pursuits
thats not upto the mark , thats untrue
as a imposed viewpoint --ur forced to take
but again the storm will subside
this weariness will pass
u just go on with patience
n the hero will triump again........

Is it loss, is it gain,is it love,is it vain

Is it loss, is it gain,is it love,is it vain
what is it that so engrosses thee
that all seems so blissful n all over serenity
the hypertexts are lost, the undertone is gone
its just a beatific smile n charm enfolds
are u the answer i seek??
am i apt to judge n not be overwhelmed by superficiality
was it that bad as i project it to be
iridescent scenes of life , jaunt of delight
looking forward to one glimpse , one fond smile of truth
jovial, copious flowers , coquetting trees
oblivion to corporeal world

in a dreamy flowery stream
the passage of bliss of enlightenment
of enchanting peococks and koels
but as u go- u'll leave a song behind
that i will sing and wonder -of the beautiful times

I remember u.....

no I don love you,but still when the night falls in-
I remember u.....
No I don look forward to meet you
but the first glance I throw around ,
 I search for u
No I'm not conscious , yet I feel an awkwardness when near
and an emptiness when away from u
how can I love u??
 ur so opposite
yet in absence of any other thought, I entertain urs
in the sleepless nights when I miss u .
unable to reach the stars- I keep awake -
counting seconds and listening to silent breeze
Then n there I become all yours
till the day dawns in with the thought
I am happy this way
Yte I know within my heart of hearts -
its to last a short while
for I do love you..........
Its just a matter of time , to recognise
n when the eve will take me in its brace
I'll again loose me ..to be all urs.......

Form Love takes...........

Love -what form u take
n at what unmindful place
as someone with loaf of bread when ur alone n hungry
as a word of faith -in time of tumult on some hoarding
as a stranger with abundance exuberant humour-in ur acute deficiency phase
as a fond smile of unconditional love- when ur on verge of disintegration
what i remember -on fondest ruminences as God n his presence ??
thousands of parties n bash at food joints??
hundreds wishing me on my victory n toasting to glory ??
or the days with no relevance but fun -roam ,stroll n chat
no -not at all -its all too superficial to leave a presence
but its the memory of being helped unasked for, in most unexpected manner
of cared for ,in divine ways most perfectly, by perfect strangers
its instants when i dint knew what i need and was provided for
its those forms of love -God takes, i marvel at
when u lay -with just a deep humble
n a desire to extend the same divine hand of faith n love
to those who require it - the the same unexpected junctures
the good within each human ,
the virtue behind the veil of vice
the truth behind the saddist hatred
its in that truth i seek - u my lord
n the forms u take to uplift ur child
n sustain the truth -as forever form of love

Lemme have a glimpse of the true Hero......

who could behold the enormous strength
of mind, of elloquence,of intellent
where on earth was another hero
he was to be the one for long
the true hero of humanity
a saviour in true sense
his glimpse would have been uplifting , his words enchanting
come again n lemme hear -what left the world mesmerised n charmed
what showed them the right from wrong
what beholded them in the thread of humanity
lemme hear ur words - lemme hear u in person
whats this enlightenment
n whats the quest of purity
whats god , whats religion -whats the correlation to humanity
if u were here now- i would have treaded to u
to see- what u mean by the words so written
to get the glimpse of only person - i look upto as a hero
a century back - away from the world wars - utter ruin of humanity
u lived n envisaged a better world - of unity n brotherhood
n it did listened to u for sure-
untill the Nazi's turned -to huge devastations
then where were ur preachings gone??
what ur disciples did??
what u would have done - if had been present at world scene??
the questions just don leave me
n d wishes - to turn back n see
a hero - in words n speech , a hero in life n for centuries to come
unparallel - one of a kind - n a ideal for billion lives
who wont see him , wont meet him
just formulate a charm of him - addressing a gap-mouthed audience
n imagining all the awe n wonder of that pretty land
of the moments you walked on the pious land
n will feel a strange upliftment
ur sayings adorning walls- reminding them that u lived
as reality not as some words written down centuries back as epics
as an embodiment of the spirit of it
what would you do - if were here now??
in the times of global warming n distrust
in time of so called competitions n computers
what would be the form for this stage??
what message would u propagate -for this crowd
so short on everything , from time to patience
gimme a glimpse of the hero - the true and only hero of the world
a world saviour - in real.........!!!!

Radha- a noone....!!!

Now again Radha realized
she's no-one -
never does she counts
what rights , which opinion??
haah - she is supposed to spring up with actions
on order of more intelligent lot
the self proclaimed knoweth it all's
her voice , her views are just immaterial

ohh she was engaged in many a brilliant talks -but it was a ploy to trap
she was a friend at equal terms - till she tread the laid path
but ahh soon she was a bitch - with her own ideas

they wondered  how can it ever be
why don't just exist n tread the asked lines
n live happily -
else we are the mature people
and we may decide to shun and abandon u
you dislike it ???
as if the choice ever rested with you !!!

anyways short lived things are often fake
happy for the short lived pain
happy for the break of chains
happy for rediscovering my voice
happy that I am not that lame
blind people , silly ideas -how far could go
there's delay but the truth must reign as the end

Radha must know to keep her silences
not give illusions of conformity anywhere
there's no need to put up with dirt
cause its never gonna lessen
unabated it will go

what God had in mind - I can't imagine
but maybe the most beautiful creature of the world
needed to be lamed somehow , tamed somehow
else how will the show run
so he gave silly ideas n notions of beauty all around
n let her shower her exquisite self -till it hurts
n then again -she won't learn but repeat
that way the show keeps running
n with an added charm
of events unforeseen

Lord -a plaything am I
in thou hands
pull me here , keep me there
lend me sense n take it again
but your flash n presence
is indeed what it takes
to accept u - in all amusing plays
n acceptance I have gained for you and for your ways
I won't put up with the silly thoughts
cause there's no better thought to entertain then yours

But Lord tell me just once - why you had to cripple like this?
but of course its a show -not to be boring
and ask saddistic questions
So lemme be a humorous joker here
lemme not cry n weep -but crack silliest jokes n
let all laugh to charm thee mighty lord!!

Mother ........

n again the mother had known that child was in trouble
she was restless throughout previous night , until she realised
it had to be her child , then she had called her
the awkward silences - did no good - she knew all was not well as said
she sat praying to lord to give her child strength
she sat, tears in her eyes,  she couldn't give her child a world perfect
it was she -responsible for the fate of her children
she should do a better job
but what can she do -??they are just so far
all the technological accessories failed to project the reality
she sat brooding and cursing the wicked false world
she sat thinking she should never have let her child go away from her
till it was night - n she called again
beta , do take care , take no tensions - all will be well
n the child wondered -how could she know -with no words
when none in world can understand the sufferings she bears
when noone spots the tears in eyes as she sits with a fake smile
unknown undisclosed, on her own
adding more emotions in god's show
like a madness soon to pass
she discards all events, on her part
yet the mom knows - her child needs care
how ?? how can it ever be
mom why u have to be so emotional, so sensitive, so intuitive
please be tough n make me so
a real tough robust person
please don't be protecting me forever .......
please teach me to trust the divine ways ......

God lend me some Grace.........

God I need thee today
in this state , in this phase
what am i upto , i am clueless
I have everything I ever hoped for
yet m unsure, uninvolved, if not indifferent'
its all ur mercy -that i am spared
its all ur blessings am at this phase
yet see your child - n her pathlessness
see her loosing grip n holding on again
as if a desperate effort to survive
as if yet to reconcile, yet to revive
where n how , what n if - but , cant it
they rule my head -all day
maybe , probably is the most definite form they ever take
n m cuming to thee again - lend me some grace
tend me as ur novice child
lemme just sleep for a while in ur lap
lemme be pampered again in ur care
God - i wanna tread on the right path
if only i could make what exactly right is........
i don wanna hurt any being
i don wanna burden anyone -yet m so much dependent
so much used too -of seeking company
n its just a silly self maybe-escaping from her responsibilities
it can be an insane being- making her thoughts go wild n psychic
whatever it maybe - I need u to guide me
supervise me -cause m just d follower of divine guidance
n somehow d link is gone, i don hear any uplifting voice
no ray seems pointed at me - or illuminating my ways
so constrained n centred am i in this web
that i realy need to figure it out n accept
help me - i come to thee- accept my prayers
oh God - i need ur help - please grant me some grace of conduct.
some sense to hold onto - some clarity to move ahead.

Its not u ......

Its not of u , its more of me
from whom i wanna hide
dont wanna face – head on
its some deep scars i don wanna ever experience in life
i wanna run the moment it seems to cystallise
afraid am i of unknown monster , of unknown pain
not just for me, but for u too
i just cant expect any pain due to me
as i can mend my broken self hundreds of time
but for u i wont take it on chance
i can take my life up again from numerous ruins
till its all have to do with me....no secondary cause

so trust me- u deserve d best
go away – from this jumbled self
live your beautiful life – exuberantly
keep away from senseless web
as , its not u, its of me-m afraid of
for pain i cant take even as a secondary stance
these fluctuating decisions, this stagnant world
wont hold on the protective roof for long
for it will blow away with the wind
for an unknown end , an unknown cause
n its both u n me- m trying to protect
from this stupid spontaneous self
take my words – go your way n go fast
for its more of me – dat i cant be sure of.....!!!!

Go Slow - n take me along.....!!!

go slow
oh the breeze, so enchanting
behold me in your flow
lemme come with u to distant lands -
lands of discovery n adventure
lemme fly away to horizon each day
in the rhythm and in gale
amidst the nature's beauty
lemme capture all the diverse landscape
As an image in my mind
lemme fall back on the basics of life
that is so very beautiful
lemme just stop -n wander on my own
lemme not be dictated by any protocol
no schedules, no fixed targets
no deadlines, no preoccupation
go where ever i feel , turn at my own wish
take me
oh thy winds -for i simply love your journey
n your freedom
to live on your terms

isnt it u.....

isn't it u -who believed in the impossible
isn't it u - who saw the most beautiful dreams
isn't it u - who believed even one being can make a difference
isn't it u - who had complete faith
on the self sufficiency of herself


where that sweet chirpy gal went
where she lost her complete sense
where is that solid faith
where is that consistency n confidence
where r u lost -my dear self


here is your world-here is your canvass
still waiting for the first stroke of colors
where are you -hiding beneath the shades
why are you afraid of the darkness
who killed your jovial soul

why this extreme emotional diffidence
oh common you are not a lousy being with a silly tongue
you are not a being to boast n turn other way
where are you?
I am seeking u
where are you - i turn to you
answer me - answer back
come to me n hold my hand
I am there for you always
trust me - n ease up
come to me - n noone else
don't throw yourself at others mercy

don't just be so weak n incompetent
see the eyes who looked up to you
see those, with complete faith on u
what is destiny thats driving life
what worst can it do to you
then what you are doing

oh common - you stupid gal
shed the others opinions you hold so tight
shed the notions of wrong n right

oh divine god - accept me once again
accept me as just another creator
as an energy to beautify world
as no one else-but a maker

oh dear you - i pray for thee
may you grasp your senses
may you have enough courage to be yourself
to accept n please your being
to stop pretending -n running from your soul!!

sometimes when i am not so resolute...

sometimes when i am not so resolute
no convictions hovering on my mind
to shun away the unnecessary web
that i have woven all around me
its then that i wanna be with u
to be silly as a child
to just do whatever my whim decides
to come to thee n hold your hand
make u laugh n dance to joyous tunes
n all the while being silly
till then i don't care for what is apt
what must be done -as per norms
then i feel -its just this day n this moment
i truly wanna live - madly, zestfully n totally
n then with a deep sigh it all vanishes
as if we are slaves of our own convictions
self imposed limitations and conduct
for whom-so-ever
but then its so short lived
n there are so many futile worries
that concepts of right n wrong are often mingled
as if by fearing we are ever spared
yet the thought survives n dictates
n we kill the thoughts which feel reviving
living a stale monotone - in the hope
that future will behold some nice clarity
n change the indecision for once and for all

walking on my favourite road - treaded to my dreaming self
it was not what i had dreamt, even i was unconcious
that the path i am on is just my wish
the beauty of trees n birds sounds
which used to evoke in me such bliss
today i cudnt even hear -as i walked in stress
on the same beautiful dreamy land


what was the trouble i cant put in words
or we can say there was none
which i could point at
it was my own self-my own lost being
my own indecisions n wavering faith

"The house believes that State should discredit the GODMEN"

THis was the topic of finals of National Debate Championship@IITB. Team 1 in favor , of the view that the Godmen as a concept is detrimental to the idea of choice and rationality , one person actinng as Gods own man - can make u do anything , cashing on ur fundamental beliefs and crisis to there own ends and means, with not even a slight scope of rationality by the invokation of Godmenship in the name of supreme power . The examples of National decisions and large scale heinous acts like drowning children in ponds to achieve an end - as advised by the Godmen and hence cannot be counteracted by anyone ....


So since u cannot teach people logic to check or disbelief for themselves -with simple literacy , State as the authority to put people's good at end ,


The 2nd team - put that people have the right of believe -u have the freedom to belive on what you wish . The state as an authority have no right to discredit an aspect of people's belief be it - religion or Godmen and many a Godmen have done good to society as a generality .

Who said there's a discrimination ?? there's none...!!!
No, there's none... Gals r being treated at equal terms with boys - society being founded on equality -treats all equally !! I can prejudice myself for aeons on ideals - but it hurts me to see the disrespect in words when spoken of gals anywhere and in any contexts. ohk gimme all the bullshit of -some gals do it that way , they deserve to be treated like that , they create their image like that n all the blah blah ...but hello - hold on - who said no guy ever did that?? y cant u see its perfectly natural for some beings to go astray - behaving in unacceptable ways - but its humane -not a speciality of some specific group . n then all the traits associated with gals- they talk a lot , so do most guys-n lemme tell u there are lots who don!!! they are confused - the guys are also mostly.... society as whole tends to discourage gals taking independent stands and positions - boisterous lady, aimbitious woman n all such connotations are often associated to them . n it really hurts me to see - there's no end to it - i cant fight a battle with each and every one for equality . i have to come to terms with it eventually - now i just smile or give a sardonic look -but no words- i cant loose my friends - for its the rubbish all people have inculcated gradually n freely blurt out as a means of fun.. it hurts me no less - it pains me the same .......


but maybe those lessons of morality are the idealism taught in school- i should not be so serious about them all the time , so i have accepted it -as a passive listener - unresponding but trust me - i do wanna analyse all the human beings on earth as sample - n come up with results to show how insane people can be - irrespective of gender- n what an immoral stand n view they carry for half the world - just because women listen in silence everywhere ...........

What in the name of Modernism??? is it just aloofness , moral deficiency society and aimless beings....towards a tragic end!!!

Suicide as a concept has always haunted me and any example - has always sent shivers down my spines - how ?? how can anybody for whatever reason can attempt to put an end to his/ her own life?? U don like ur job place - leave it , ur under tons of pressure at home for any reason - run away , go - change ur place , ur ways , ur aims , ur thougths , - give urself a second chance of perfect existence... a break - a real break ...go on hilltops -n just chill -go away to whatever u have ever liked being to and try to decipher what fascinates u of it - go chill relax - u need not do anything in life now as what others think - just being there is enough - doing something is our nature - what we feel like we'll do - one day and only that day will matter - no other day - there's no hurries , no train to catch -- exist beautifully n serenely - laugh with friends -- or just see the amusing ur self -- but y end like that??

There are many ways u can think ur life is useless - but y u need to get the use at an instance glance - let it be a new start - y cant u just leave all in past n tread a new way of ur make , forget the pressure , forget the expectations , forget whatever ur supposed to be n ur not ... its all immaterial - isnt it ...just sit in a park for days - n witness the people ,their joy n their pains; cry out loud if u want to - but just for a moment look around with open eyes -witness life in its flight as birds , as butterflies , as colours as fun , as emotions , as joy ; as trees that are always there as ultimate assurance ;see the nature n its ample resource ...go help someone in whatever mintue way u can - n feel what gratitude is . know the essence of life that its surely no race against time or against urself , its no timelines or string of chains ; rather its just what ever u want it to be ...u wanna just be the one u feel like being...


y cant u go n tell the man nearest n seemingly most happy all ur troubles just for companion sake- tell him that u feel like its a useless existence just as a last attempt n trust me -that day u'll realise -its all a miniscule , am empasse , very next day ur gonna be grateful to God and filled with awe and wonder that as a child u always held deep withi n ur self and shining in ur eyes; capture it again - go help an orphanage , go help old people just for a change - go wish all well - praise all u feel like worthy of a praise - y u need to be an Einstein or the smartest guy/gal in the world ...there's perfectly no need of them - somebody will take care of that by his own unaware being - u just be there on stage -n do the little little things that matter - that really matter the most to someone - n trust me the gudwill will take u to dreamlands u always cherished to be in ur wildest dreams ..........



ohhh i had gone thru this thought once - n that was so stupid to even consider , now its most amusing side ,cant help but laugh at it now- "not cracking an exam " failing straight in the face of ur friends , family and society and crashing ur belief on u to dearths . I understand how it feels - but then xyz exam is not u live for - neither does it matters ?? so many uneducated heroes of world have proved it ...all that matters is being human - n respecting humanity in whatever little way u can ...


College dropouts who make a difference, little villages people who make there village stand apart as the best example of self sustained onen n no of such examples - i feel that needs just to be human, u just need to be sensitive and creative , do whats required, help others in ur most ingenuious way u can - best engineering products are created by necessity -which no engineering graduate can n has sitting in premier colleges with tons of equations n know-how.........!!!

ohh just wipe out tears of ailing eyes , bring back smile on one thats deprived life-- create beauty n joy --- that u can always do --- just ur confident smiling presence will do ...but don live this someone else imposed battle on u-- leave the battle n regain u ............

When perfection becomes a habit ..a norm of day , a way of life..

Today , a day after and again
from habit to becoming a nature
when perfection becomes a norm rather than an exception
when cool attitude, help as instinct and worm to learn
is what all are bitten by
when ideas sprout n are sure to be realized
when act on wish and live a dream is the way
when surroundings induce these bug in you
trust me my dear that day you are an IITian............!!!


its the wait for normal spaces to be copied in multiple forms
for multiple brains, a day before exam
its the huge queue of nerds, chasing the bus running from the stop
its the designs of huge networks with a chalk n a board
its the concepts just fitting in the form just perfectly
like a piece n bits falling to fit in
n it should make you more strong
with each passing day,
with each encompassing/engrossing thought
remember the days when you just wanted to feel great
like a new idea and understanding
recollect the yearn to read and marvel
remember the crave to feel the shell - break it to pieces
n live a day of freedom of work
tasks just out of your wish
do u remember me?
I am that craving from days past
to do something meaningful
and now walking at the sidewalks
with the giants around and overwhelming feats
so many things to learn and fathom
n beautifully understand the varied forms
why this rush to put it restrictedly,
no worries of manipulations
bygone are the crazy days
learn the free spirit
of reason, of logic
tread with an insight
make the foundations of Rome
strong and huge to the core
like the incessant work on some art form
relish the learning as it flows
like a wonder in eyes and joy of mind at work
like a genuine thought twirling and shaping in the nerves
be strengthened with each difficult second
thanku IIT for whatever it is u gave
and for giving the breathing space
to choose what I want
comprehending the degrees of freedom
is now the charm
lemme fall in
and fathom the depths of perfection.........