Fine u do realize the values of many things very later in life people do mess up them self to the point where there's no turning back .There are mistakes which leave many if's and but's .yet somehow this movie felt like a liberating experience -this years of killing of self to conform- leaves a cluelessness as if a hole - which u cant find , cant pinpoint - there's this constant need of conformance n approval by society -that is a vicious loop. Consequence ? Tend to exaggerate every single event -think of worst n live that imaginary dread -every single day u wake up n every single time u go to bed......n ofcourse 24 hours of the day -for as long as it takes to be obsessed with any other event .Then comes a point when u realise -everything's gonna be alright in the end that no matter how hard u try that all people should genuinely feel on your death pyre that u were a nice person - happy memory's , no hurting .But whatever u do there will be dissatisfied souls out there - turning there wrath on u - an easy target -for whatever freaking reasons n fears they might have or might have faced in their life's . n it really doesn't matter - how many walk besides, as u take your last breath - what matters is- how many life's get better cause u r alive.Of course its not a well laid out mathematical equation - that u follow this route - n woah u have made lives better .Its infact such a vague concept like you are living a dream - maybe when you are trying to be logical n are hence skeptical -u feel u r too nautanki to be real. When u doubt -are u of any good ? When u question you are very existence, when u feel -if only u could get away from the world-without hurting anyone, without burdening anyone , just being you -just somehow living on your own, and leaving no trace behind - maybe that would be the best life ever lived . cause i hate fuss n complications.Yet the very other day - u long for friends , u roll out tears on single delay in your loved one's phone calls on your important day - as if nobody loved u , you are a burden -somehow somewhere .Like no matter what u do - its gonna be huge mess -like its all such a waste ....Then this is not what I call inspiration. To sit smart all knowing n all aware type being - we a,, will always love - but thats very dead -however blunt it may sound . I would trade places with any being - to become a very calm, poised n silent person - but it leaves a big hole n blackness inside - it feels like being stupid .I would have always thought of this when vague instants of insanity beholds me so often -but it always leaves so much thoughts behind- a feeling of being wise n a feeling of life is all over . Then sunrise , sunset , trees and plants - butterflies , boulders n stars - are not just beauty of nature or the mark of perfection of the world of the mighty God -but they represent you in your various moods n instants -when they are your companions in this life - inspiring and ever present .When my little stupid jokes makes even one smile - I feel I am worthy of life . Well so much so I hate this market cost benefit worth analysis - when it comes to life n time - its what I need - call it search for meaning - its always in terms goodness behind .Oh its not what I wanted to write - I don't know what was the whole point - some point I had come to as the ultimate conclusion for now - oh yes -it was if only we knew what we want to do and did it - everything will seem alright - like in the movie . But somebody tell me -what about those
who want to take their own paths? Well we'll do - if only we knew for sure - so this surety thing is what stuck's us all??Maybe - the clarity is still to dawn ...........
till then .....bbies
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