Friday, December 28, 2012

Gender Bias ??

Well living with this free mentality from so long and treated as equal till now by my family and friends, its now that I know it was my good luck. To have got such a good family culture. For I have seen so many families with girls treated as well what shall I say? Lesser. 

In my childhood I was very much offended when anyone used to tell that its the boy of the family who is of any assistance to the family and can bring name, fame and honor,  when he grows up. Girls are meant to go to other homes, they are 'paraya dhan' or something. I hated this word. Well I decided from long, I would learn much, will earn much, would create difference and make my parents proud and would be capable of helping them in old age and would prove everyone that their perception is wrong. Girl's are equally competent and of help to their parents. But then I saw its not one case, its the plague of our entire societal thread.

Forget about the vast majority of women who are not given opportunity of education and earning livelihood, who are repeatedly a victim of domestic violence, who have only their bearing capacity to drive them through the life of dependent assaulted neglected being. Its impossible to mention the  plight of women in India- across all the strata- only the form differs but its very much existent and prevalent. They are secondary by the Patriarchical society, an entity whose voice doesn't matters, whose duty is to do everything and keep their mouth shut. We have heard of cases where tribal or rural women are gang raped by the decision body as an act of vindication. They are horrible facets. But not even middle and upper classes are free from this bias. Daily sexual abuses on the roads and offices is a norm than an exception. But these cases only bring shame to the girl's family, hence never reported. Even if it is, justice will take  centuries to come. So nobody bothers to waste their time but bear and try to forget and protect them from the world.

I don't say situation is not better than before. Ofcourse it is that's why I can write this without worrying about the reaction. The education for girls has definitely improved. They are working more than before and almost all kinds of role you find a few girls. They have managed to have their presence felt and at times even appreciated by one and all in clear terms, despite all the hinderances. That's the reason we can breathe, hear, and feel free and be hopeful. But its the end of it. All the girls learn the tips to carry through in the society without being noticed or being targeted to well let's say evil things. The tips don't ensure your safety and well-being but they definitely help and are bare minimum requirement to follow before you step out. Its not written as guidelines but from mother to daughter or from friends and common understanding its passed and followed and propagated.  All working girls carry sole responsibility of managing day to day chores. Even while working equally hard at jobs. They have to bear with the opinions of so many who feel "house should not be neglected" even though you leave your career mid-way. Sometimes I think two working hands earn more, that's the major motivation that they are allowed to work in most of the home's.  Still before stepping out of home, you need to ensure you are with some big group or male to be protected from so called eve-teasing.  The form of which is beyond teasing ofcourse. You have to bear with silly remarks and perceptions thrown at you every now and then. And in the face of it too you need to shun your outspokenness, as in don't go and argue with them, it won't do any good and you might land in trouble, you see.

I wonder how many boys are broad minded enough to lend a helping hand to their wife on daily basis, let her grow in her career, stand for her with his family and society. Help her in house keeping and plan life together, take decisions actually with her opinion as well, won't try to control how she spends money she earns, would be understanding that her family is still hers and she can belong to both without contention and prioritizing , respect her as a equal human  and live life as equals. I don't think there are many. So who is to blame? The educated girls, their mothers, the educated boys, his parents or the society? Decide and tell.Its not an individual, its a collective perception. I am sure there would be many exceptions, but rule is Indian society still promotes and lives in a biased environment. Educated girls are just a way of pretending we are so open -minded and have equal opportunities. You see the " statistics of promotions, how many girls are not given equal opportunities of growth in jobs,  you see how many girls take jobs too lesser than their competence so that they can full time do their homely duties", how many ultra successful ladies, leave their career midway to look after the kid or if the husband is not comfortable with them working and call it a compromise, worth it", or   why? Ofcourse that's their primary role. Rest is just for fanning their whims. There is no such term as individualism for girls, you see. They are to be in some role and portray it as expected  (read stereotype) and being done from generations. You would wonder how many people will label me anti-Indian culture ideals, for writing this. To all those claimants I have more essence of Indian culture in me than you would ever care to learn and incorporate. What you carry in the name of culture is the stale part handed down to you with all the inhuman elements  crept in its deteriorating phase from generations.

Oh few of the elite of you create hue and cry, if a well educated girl takes to her so called duties of "being in the kitchen" and "taking care of the household",  "sacrificing her career as per her husband's changing cities". Well let me tell you the other side of the story, of why girls, the educated girls too give in. Because if they cling on to the things they want to do in life, in their career and hobbies , what they visualize as living life. It is interpreted  as "not available for full time home care".  The outspokenness won't give them  easy ride, in Indian society . Each girl has to learn all the homely girlishness. Learn to think her career can go to hell. An average job is the best shot,  no job related ambitions and no dreams of creating difference, should now be entertained.  Her wishes should take back burner and she should readily compromise on all fronts. In short leave all your wishes to be labelled "an ideal girl for Indian marriage market". And ofcourse marriage is a full stop of life for most of the educated girls as well. It is not because of cowardice, its because of need to keep all tension free and happy and the faith on our self that maybe we can fit in, if we try real hard. The easiest solution.

I feel really terrible of this custom that the girl side  needs to give dowry to the guys, or call them gift's because its our culture. Forget about happiness, wish, need just because Some guy is marrying a girl, her parents need to invest most of their savings in the marriage ceremony. Ofcourse even if she is equally qualified and  can earn equal to anyone or even if she is way better than the guy she is marrying. Is she been sold or something, good riddance and its the greatness of guy to keep her for rest of her life, isn't marriage supposed to be two people starting their life together ?Isn't it something which has to do with love, care, respect, equality for them both, with the blessings of all ? Then where in comes this money business. But then how does it matters. All wanna put a blind eye for what it stands. And we all love the celebrations and lavishness associated with weddings, don't we. So lets leave it at that. Then there are n number of  stupid covers for this so called "The big fat Indian Wedding" custom.

Though I know I might have painted this worse than what it is. But see its my perception from what I have seen all around, statistically more prevalent, almost a norm .Just like corruption is reality for us today, its everywhere, we go and shout slogans, hold a candle march and next day get the slip of bills required forged and pink slip for attendance made from some doctor friend. And get the tenders and orders and promotions and jobs by money under the table. Likewise Bias towards girls is reality of Indian society, you dig whichever strata and whatever realms its there and in varied forms. Sugar coated,  often in gentle words, in the name of respect for girls as devi's or something, but it still stands intact. I am yet to meet a guy who has never told me girls are dumb, as if guys are all very smart,  as if dumbness has anything to do with gender. And then their are many who quote Manu with all those "ill- habits" of girls like they are talkative, can't keep a secret, etc etc. as if these are traits specific to girls. I wonder who the hell Manu was and who the hell are his brainless followers. Why don't  you do a proper survey and get the facts and then talk. But this shit talk seems so funny to them and they take so much pride of all this information.

Well its basically raw data, with bias of generations in it, its definitely no information as its useless blabber. And they keep pouring it every now and then. Having been with so many boys of my age and always finding myself better than most of them, it really seems to me, to be some kind of talk to please themselves by the incompetent. But lets leave my "feminist self" to myself.

The virtue and vices are found in all humans, atleast nature has no bias.. I have seen guys stupid, talkative, jerks and what not...but then generalization would be absurdity.  And all have some great traits as well, you turn a blind eye to good and generalize the few traits of some. Foolish will be foolish no matter which gender you belong to. But I would be really pleased to see a real equality based Indian society. Just that its not just boys, or uncles or Aunties, its girls like us who give in their stands, to follow the line, to please their Parents, who are equally responsible. So any change needs to happen at all ends.

Monday, December 24, 2012

beauty for its sake..

whats most rich -- the flowers..
whats most beautiful- the butterflies
which is the best charm-- river across the mountain
where in lies the solace -- in the green wilderness
whats hope - the autumn, whats joy - the spring
then why we run after plastic commodities
why the gadgets and gizmos rule the world
why the chirp of birds is left unheeded/unheard
why there is unrest all over

we are not after beauty and elegance
we are not after peace and solace
than why this war, what for
is it for minerals and land?
is it for capturing the terrain
why on earth u wanna die
to be called a mighty warrior
and leave behind a trace of land
colored with human blood

why u can't think of life in its terms
why u need to build huge castles
to appreciate its worth..
is it most wonderful - living in a cage
or is it amazing walking in green moorland

I can't think of anything but bliss
when it comes to the life
its like most complex yet elegant presence
but see the setup we have built
trapping the souls in discontent, in unrest
running in a race, with no clear end
no purpose, no motivation
than the  flimsy achievements n goals

Ah sacred life, what mockery it must be
to have given the greatest gift
and seen it rot, for far lesser things..
you must be pained, to see your creation
so senseless and demonic in its traits
oh creation for your own sake
be content with few who portray thy beauty
for rest of the lot, its a black hole
with no sight in and no way out
a trap perennial to uphold

Saturday, December 22, 2012


The word called Professional and the world of professionals

Well to me Professional always evokes something which has to do away with your own self, accommodate a demanding schedule or maybe redundant and boring  schedule, be emotionless and unnecessarily sincere and showy, only to ensure a fairly decent pay at the end of the day, but your learning curtailed with each passing day. I worked in a technical firm for about two years - few months of wondering in yonder, and i had the experience of real well established firms and the starters with their eyes set on gains and there job only to squeeze u to do the work for the smallest possible fees and yet they want to derail the payment as long as they can . Well ofcourse Institutional establishments are preferred, but I wonder was I the only one, who felt doing stupid time taking jobs and going foolish with each passing day? I doubt as maybe nobody will word the feeling as I do, but all remain dissatisfied and then they say its very difficult to go back to the academics after working for so long, we have lost our ability to focus and read. See what is it if not going foolish in a way. Anyways I don't want to portray people getting foolish and foolish at one side and actually paid heftier for that ..and on the other hand people learning and getting smarter and smarter but what to say getting less preferred for employments,  in search of better words. But what I mean is self comparison, had I been doing what I know I can - given the tasks accordingly - a mix of goals and making things happen, instead of doing the same, often well documented yet not understood work with long hectic time involved, again and again  for years; if u can be involved in new roles - made to learn and understand and hired to make it better, wouldn't it be a better way to live. You can see what you could decipher, explain and understand in course of time . You being a better you, with the passing time.

Well ofcourse I am not a promoter of job maniac mentality so well spread in India, yet I am almost to take a job again " to earn some easy money" and strangely  "you are valued if you are working in some hi-fi firm" as per public opinion, the criteria being the multi-million turnover business MNC's .
I know back again I would be hating the job within two years of starting it, that's the time when I would quit- and the difference this time would be - I'll quit with some savings to start my own business. Oh by business I don't mean hard-core selling, retailing and brokerage kind of business; its all social smartness and too inartistic for my perception of fanciful oops ideal oops dreamy life. Ofcourse we all live a dream , but to have "dream come true" means a single day for most, when we have achieved some goal. It can be as weird as " clearing an exam", "getting first salary" , "purchasing the dream car" etc. etc...But if you are at dreaming, why not dream a continuum, dream of an existence that will be so very like, you want to live each day ..that way u won't feel like a secluded fool for years to turn up as smartest human on earth on one single day, only to be put into dearth again in some new setup. Till u formulate and attain some other so called goal.

This job race is one such trap, apparently for me,  I can't visualize a better description of it, maybe due to absence of its existence or maybe mine blindfoldedness. Either way "I stick by my theory till I have fairly good reasons/intuition to change it". 

So what happens to the millions of Indian youth who go out each year from 'PROFESSIONAL COLLEGES' into the so called, realm of Software/IT companies and their families assume "now they can live happily - ever after".  Why, ofcourse we struggled so hard, to facilitate their education and entry into Professional college and then payed the hefty college fees for years and supported them ( U know the competition in India - for 5000 seats 5 lakh people appear in the exam). Then we have to sent the kid for coaching ( which takes out all the blood in our vein- but then it is necessary, after all we want to be good parents - we want to facilitate our kid's bright future; why he is the smartest kid on earth; we still remember how he used to show his smartness since childhood).

Anyways I am not into the Indian parents attitude today, neither do I doubt, that its so very practical and working in this day's India ; but I wonder sometimes if my parents would not have put me into a professional college, for that matter all of us, into a professional college, what would I be doing today? Would I have learnt MSC physics or M Phil English - I would have struggled to get job of a teacher and my father would have faced so much trouble to find a fancy bridegroom. Well their tension is little less now because I am in the rat race, and I managed to pass through it. Thanks for the years of efforts of all. Anyways even this is not the point.

The point was altogether different, it was what next after you have won the rat race and are running in it for quite sometime, say more than a year - approaching say few years, I have few friends who have finally come to terms with their state, the hope and possibility of changing company and places keeps them going, they are now three years experience lot, quite a senior engineer kind of status and people( read freshies/kids) consult them for so minute works. Sometimes it irks to see them struggle with something so obvious, but ofcourse they don't have years of work to backup and boost their confidence. So where was I - yeah "Job security"  that's the word.

The security that you'll keep getting some xyz Rs in your account every month, keeps them going , it pays the bills, keeps the parents happy and tension-less and gives them power to buy the fancy stuff that's so very unnecessary yet seen as a status symbol everywhere and ultimately your exterior look only matters ( to others) and when were you concerned about your true inner happiness anyways?, to make any difference today.  Ofcourse you feel so proud of yourself telling about the company you worked for, the college you graduated from and the hefty package you are drawing and the raise you are expecting soon. Your boss is a moron, otherwise rest is great; ofcourse your colleagues dwell into stupid bickering but then " it is a part and parcel of corporate world" .You are not there to make friends, are you?. God help you, if you are.

And while you are working, better be a smart ass, otherwise for your so long work others will get the promotion and recognition because of smart tongue and the stealing presentation aptitude, they have mastered the art of.    I used to wonder sometimes, in between my anger slots and cursing, that doesn't it feels wrong to present somebody's else work and toil, as yours and get promotion on the basis of it. Ofcourse till then I used to believe people want to work to check their capabilities to prove the worth of their existence to themselves, what I mean is for self satisfaction , but then I saw something, people who do this are smart ass. they don't waste time in redundant monotonic or time taking work , and they believe they are so much more smarter then you, that they deserve the credit of the work you do, ofcourse I donno the other logics and reasons but I think they take it almost as the most natural thing on earth, their birthright or something.

"Right without deserving or action " condemnation comes from those tongues who live by the philosophy, "they have to justify their existence by their work" . But there is another lot on earth
" The Damads" as I call them . Who feel the world is theirs, every resource and opportunity is theirs, they are the masters to rule the slaves ( " read the believer of action / the doers") But for that to happen they have to manipulate and be secretive but its in the good of all. You see they are the kings of the world... I don't hate them now that not just because I am out of the game and don't give a damn, but also because I have realized how stupid the "The Damads" will be all their life, "in person" that even to think of them, would be devaluing your own self..they are, I donno, maybe moulded some what differently but as we all have a perfect chain of thought  and beliefs and a code of conduct and way of life, so much emulated within ourselves .. that to change or feel betrayed or cheated would be the worst thing you can do to yourself. But take it as you are here for better things, create something and continually learn and evolve that's the essence you live for. Let other's manage the trite work and stay happy in it. You have altogether different wiring and your value system is what you should live by.

In short "achieve your own perfection and beautiful life"; don't try to mimic others or even let anyone decide/define or pave the way to tread to your goal. Your goal is only your make, rest all is immaterial to you, accept it and let it this way.

Ahh I always come on this preachy note at the end, as if I am some "old buddhi daady" so very versed with the ways of the world, which I am not , its all old mess up's, I have sorted out/justified in the long run.  Haa its funny when life is happening to me " I feel so directionless..everything just happens and I make local decisions" - but toward the end - I always have a theory and pattern of analysis available with me. I don't know what they call these kind of things but I am sure some sort of broad or larger picture people kind of word must suit me.  Just that I also happen to have local goals ,which vary so fast and I am clueless most of the time why on the face of earth "i can't stick to one job and work and be perfect in it" Maybe dabbler that I am, I get bored too easily with routine. But then I guess this doesn't fits the definition of "Professional" but then who wants to be a professional, not I. So I prefer to label myself as "artist". Not Professional artist but artist, driven by self,  and doing fabulous things by the internal motivation and turmoils.

I will sometime ask papa " what it feels to live a lifetime" in a job; how does it affects and grows you; what u feel amiss and what u feel gained; what according to u is life's aim" . Maybe after his retirement else he might just ignore me to have gone mad ...Haha funny that I actually relish thinking
I am some kind of mad/freak - maybe the kiddish rebellion to the norms is still somewhere in me. But I think its not to show or prove any point " its just I like the idea of living a random life' not having to abide by some regular curriculum . The end result of perfection or greatness is not so much  motivating for me. I just want this day to leave so much new and exciting gyan and experience. What would happen ten years later we will see.

Dabbler am I, truly I think. But I understand what will happen to the world " if everybody goes stupid like me" . There's this term called responsibility. Devoid of this the threads of society will break. And I know that its this responsibility that drives most of the people all over. Family to provide for,  prestige in community, money to help all and live upto parents expectation of "having raised an awesome child". Trapped in these goals, u never get time to roam around and try out a banjara life...and at the end of the day " u actually become so much perfect in the work u do, that u start relishing it'. So that's the way it is.  And this kiddish phase will pass from me as well, but I m sad thinking of that. Anyways maybe there's a better view of the other life than what i attribute to it. And u can always get a perfect  mix -- khichdi our so very favorite. And that we can always manage I believe a khichdi of routine and Professionalism and your dabbling instincts...' For one u fulfill all your said roles and yet u live upto randomness and dabble in all art and sciences around.

I wonder how would the people before the gyan era dawned in - made choices, was there also these kinds of "social conduct" and responsibilities to bear, family to keep and manage and emotional upheavals or they were so concerned with jungle and gathering food that nothing else mattered. Ofcourse it should have after having meal and settling down for evening snacks what would they be discussing "the strategy to get another meal; the dwindling count of easy prey in the jungle;
the predators crossing the boundaries and howling in night" "the safety of women and children" ; "sheltering from the rains next autumn" . Isn't it?  Is it so very different? Then there would be some who would be after the " so very good looking fruit,  gathered from the jungle far away by someone in the creed" and to get it easily and freely, they would put up a emotional show " of love and respect and need and favor and promise to return it in their turn" and snatch the fruit and eat and relish it themselves. Then their would be some sages " gathering and working for the entire community" and being the first one to sacrifice themselves" for ofcourse their idea of purpose of life, is to be of use to the community. They don't fear life and death u see. They are the true fearless, awesome warriors- how great that feeling is!! What else do u want in life?? Then their would be discoverers - u know if u tread along the canal and go upto 15km u will find a cave in which the tiger lives.. ahh really u found it, great ..!! See if u mix these two " u won't feel pain and your wound will be quickly healed" oh ur a genius..aren't u..!! The adventurers " today I fought a whole sena of insects they flew after me when I took the honey and i managed to escape them so narrowly it was so much fun..ahh u live one amazing life ...don't u!!  Then their would be one baby sitter " who would take care of all the babies and would love that " ahh aren't they wonderful - see they can move their hands now" ohh i just love taking care of them....All with different attitude and aptitude and sense of purpose and meaning and role in life...

Who say's we are way more civilized? Its just the same setup with changed surroundings...   

living an aberration..

the clouds of doubt
linger high
they want to settle
if I am good enough
then only they will subside
good enough in my pursuits
good enough in what i do

the clouds lingering overhead
with strange emotions n quest
validating a point
measuring the turmoil
standing besides in dearth
else feeling the sky's heights
larger than life on earth

ahh why it has to be decisive
why u want the traits to be inherent
when u r whatever u learn
y not wish and achieve
why not learn n grow
y keep measuring the length
to satisfy your ego

why u need to compare
ur existence with others
y not just go ahead
and do what u love

sheer emotional fools
devising such fancy  loops
to be lost in this world
n then wonder
what am i doing here
as ofcourse u r wasting time
u r making yourself an aberration

hiding behind doubts
all your life
trying to be something
u r not..

to kill a mockingbird..

to kill a mocking brid -- that's one movie which i should have watched way back, it was the thought when i started watching it today.  Well midway the plot, when the three kids are on there secretive missions prompted by there need to be brave and solve the mysterious,  i remembered my bro and missed our childhood and growing up. The protective stance of the children scout and jem for their father - in front of the whole community dead against, was remarkably portrayed and yet at the end when the mysterious neighbor Boo is brought into picture it all sums up "the if you have the gun and the wish to make a kill, don't go for a mockingbird because all she does is sing her heart out for the humans" its just a presence which is pleasing to human community why would anyone try to destroy it. A marvelous movie, very beautifully depicted and captivating plot. Would definitely take up the novel, nothing better then the novel, it will really give the words to what u feel in the movie...

One amazing work of art indeed!!! Not very fanciful or out of the blue but the very nearby ordinary happenings portrayed in true essence..that u feel a part of it all
the way ....

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I donno wassup with me these days, but I saw two movies in last two days and they both have left such a great impression on my mind..that I really need to write out something to prevent being preoccupied all the time. Well one is "The karate Kid" and the other is "To Sir, With Love" .
Well they don't have any correlation to each other accept that they both are inspiring. They both are legendary, if a creation, a thought, the work and implementation can be so labelled. Whenever we go to watch a movie we are looking for some kind of take back, which will be a feel good factor, it won't leave a sagging tail that u regret having wasted ur time, it is one of those kind of movies which makes u feel great that u r alive.

Well enough of it. So the movie "To sir with love" is about a young engineering graduate pass-out with no teaching experience, who joins as a teacher in a school where kids of lower, abused strata of society study. Kids whose family itself is so possessed in the clutches of harsh realities and abuse that education and mannerisms take a back burner. The kids give him a hard time as they always give to rest of the teachers till one day he realizes that " they are kids at heart" and are at their rebellion phase The way to teach them to be adult, it makes him innovate and break the barriers of textbooks to reach out and teach them the basics of life, the bare necessary traits to survive in the world outside  and he slowly and gradually transforms them all. And at the end they make him realize, his true role and responsibility as a teacher and he gives away his job offer as an engineer. Well as story it might not seem impressive but as it unfolds it just leaves u spellbound, u feel part of both the students and the teachers role. You debate the righteousness of each action, you critize few acts and yet u wait in anticipation of what will happen next,  what will the reaction..what will lie ahead... You relish each change in students, you live their each rebellious note and their each dream...You appreciate their circumstances and responsibilities yet u wanna shout at their stupidity. Its one amazing movie which is just one of the greatest work ever...

The other one "The Karate Kid" , well I am told there are two versions of it, I mostly saw the newer one in which a child of around 10 moves to Beijing with his mom as she is transferred there. Now comes all kinds of barriers language, new group, rivalry. He gets into lot of trouble with a school group who are trained in karate until he meets a guy, who saves him and trains him to become one of the greatest Karate fighters in the town. Well its not about the kid, its not about the teacher, its not even the Karate or kung fu which attracts and charms and mesmerizes u but its the flow of the story, the dialogues and truths and realizations and the reaction and emotions and the victory of one's faith on one's self,  which are so beautifully portrayed and woven around that makes u feel just awesome at the end...Somewhere after practice lies a satisfaction and peace, no matter what leaves u with that impression in mind...
oh did i forgot to mention he lands in trouble because of girl at first place and then his fearlessness and perfect sense of priorities and righteousness later. ..nyways njoy the movie..!!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Power of institutions/bodies and their influence...

One day last year, a girl came to my room during insti elections, on the day of election itself, I think and started telling me whom to vote for cult or moodi secy. Having already decided i told her so, but she was adament. We the previous committee and Moodi committee know better and we support this xyz guy. He is totally good, he will be the best person. The other guy is not good. Please cast vote for xyz . So on..I wondered what on earth makes her think that an establishment name and standing behind a person can influence me changing my decision to vote for someone they support. That made me think of actual politics and candidates. How some institutions and groups abolish some candidate and urge the members of community or society to boycott someone or vote for someone.

I felt like telling her, to mind her own business. I can decide who is good based on their manifestos and work. I need no body coming and backing somehow to influence me to cast vote. And the biggest irony is she was so assured that they the so called committee has the full credentials to decide what's good for the insti...

Trivial man...

a trivial man, a trivial life, a common man, a common story...a nameless existence, a day to day schedule.. same old story...these terms are not reclusive, they occur so often than not that I wonder to whom do they depict. What notion to form by the word common man?
as those who are well placed in high echelons of power and fame in society are definitely not common i think all eyes are always on them and people discuss their life events more often than their own. The resource-less, the disadvantaged lot of society deprived of bare necessities and striving through their day to day existence as an unknown battle again not common, its the plot where most movies start..a beggar, insignificant being to the don oops most powerful person in society or the change maker, the real difference makers...even there are numerous books, memoirs and stories of them...they are ofcourse not a trivial insignificant day to day being...

then is it the middle one's, not too high not too low, on the societies ladder, is what that term refers to. but how can it be? belonging to this strata of society, i have seen so many of this cadre and so mind blowing differences and approach and existence and so many and varied stories of
them that i wonder who can ever label them as trivial or insignificant or common. They are just so much complex and more than that than to be characterized by the term trivial or common.

So at the end of the day this is not a distinguishing on the basis of have or have not's or a middle ground but its inclusive of all of them or none at all...

yet see how strange stories surface from around us and we are not even aware of them. Daily talking, smiling, laughing faces have so much behind them and so much to narrate that i wonder when did all that happened.!! always laughing, always haughty, always smiling, always nagging, always complaining, always falling in love ..all types of people yet they are not, what u perceive them to be. Noone is given a pill since birth that ok, 'u'll laugh all the time as you are so very happy and will be so always or till eternity". nobody is given the gift of tension, "u will never be satisfied, to nag will be your life. for u will be so much tensions into it that it will matter so much more that you won't understand that why others are so careless or carefree...". No demarcation from the beginning yet all grow up with altogether different characteristic. I wonder...why and how...I wonder "is there even one existence" which is trivial, common and day to day..

You saw that guy and though how stupid of him to always be affirmative and show his teeth. yet next moment you see him with his wife, helping her and handling her in such graceful manner and caring whole-heartedly that you will wonder, how is he so sensible and caring when all so called fancy degrees, knoweth it all's are also jerks.. and again next moment u'll witness a person from same strata yelling and shouting on trivia and u'll feel its so inhumane...

I wonder who is the one and till what extent u can characterize and group and label people. You wanna know people ? see them at their worst and see them at their best, know the facet behind the day to day nitty gritty of life. And you would know, its not common. Listen to the tales they have to tell, listen to their perceptions and the moments they have seen and withstood...and you would know the kind of work someone has done on earth. Its amazing that neither position nor power nor clan nor status or means..nothing can predict what lies ahead for you..its always going to be a mystery
every coming second, every coming place and every person..even the same old persons and same old well known places won't stay same.
It all will keep changing with an indeterminate pace and timings....

There is no commonness of anything, no trivialities, no big giant moments of ultimate change..its all in each thread, it is now in each moment that life exists and lived...strangely, uncommonly, uniquely, with an undecipherable pattern..yet with stories worth narrating ......u don't create one from fancies, just look around and write it down ..its fancier than any imagination.the real day to day happening....

Pursuit of Happiness

Saw pursuit of happiness yesterday. Couldn't help but cry and love the movie ...
n couldn't help thinking what this movie teaches us. You see it was not just a movie
for entertainment  it did had a message to give and convey . I especially liked the
dialogues the hero gives that "I wonder how he put the word pursuit in there"..
n that "don't ever let anyone tell u what u can or can't do son, not even me",
 I mean it was just superb...

The message i took was " run fastest" , "have the keen eyes of finishing ur tasks on ur deadlines" , "don't assign infinite time for any task --- be on it wholly till it is finished",  "have a son to live for- that solves the time wastage phenomenon as den u will be time bound and would be forced to finish tasks on time",  be imaginative and inclusive with ur family members, they can't be expected to understand what u r going through, but preserve them and make them feel in elite world of stories in any situation and endeavor if the life was a  adventour we are into and its the bestest fun that ever could be..."do what u think u can and pursue your ideas of happiness till the end" no matter what happens...because the tougher it gets the better the story of ur life will be when put in words

so its my take back from it, n I want to see it daily....
and I have this feeling every time I'll watch it, I'll discover some other meaning and
theme from it...

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Few good read!!

Few must reads... checklist


1)Drayton’s “Battle of Agincourt
2)“Ode to the Virginian Voyage
4)old curiosity shop -- when u wanna cry :P
5)Doctor foster
6)Hemmingway - Oldmen and the sea
7)Wool soynka - Dance in the forest
8)Salman Rushdie - Horoon and the ... ( children nonsense lit.)
9)Lion and the jewel
10)Kongi's harvest
11)Faerie queen - Spensor(Poet's poet :)
12)Utopia - Thomas Murray
13)Machiavelli - Prince
14) Dawn quixote -
15) Good Earth - Pearl Haresworth or smthg
17) Aenied
18) Oddyseey
19) Ajamemnom - Asechelus
20) Odypus Rux -
21) Uppanishads
22) Shakespeare - Sonnets
23) Waiting for Godot - Absud Literature/Non-sense Literature.

Science fiction/Others
1)H.G.Wells - Invisible Man
2) Stream of consciousness - James Joyce
3) Virgina Wolf
4) B'Day party
5) Golden
6) Vanity Fair
7) John Osborne - Look back in Anger
8) Shelagh Delaney and Arnold Wesker
9) Noel Coward and Terence Rattigan


1) To his coy Mistress - Andrew Marvell
2) Paradise Lost - John Milton
3) Red red rose - Robert Burns
4) Upon Westminster bridge - Wordsworth
5) Kubla Khan - Coleridge
6) Shelly ( awesum poet) - To a skylark, Ozymandias
7) My last Duchess - Robert Browning
8) W.B.Yeats - Sailing to By
9) Philip Larkin - Church Going


21) Way of the world - Congrev
22) Ladies Coup - feminist work
23) Ralph roister doister - Nicholas Udal (1st comedy written)
24) Gammer gurton needle - John Still
25) As u like it ( Shakespeare)
26) Midsummer night's dream ( Shakespeare)
27) twefth night
29) School of scandals - ( Sheredon)
30) Shoemaker's holiday ( Deckor)
31) Ben Johnson - Alchemist
32) T.S.Eliot - Wasteland
33) Cantebbery Tales-Geoffrey Chaucer
34) Love's labour lost
35) Prothalamion
36) Much ado about something - Shakespeares
37) All for Love

1) Tale of a tub - (Jonnathan Swift)
2) Arms and the man
3) Mrs Warrens Profession
4) Drydon - Absselom and achthitophe
5) Rape of the Lock
6) Dunciad - Pope
7) MacFlecknoe -John Dryden

APJ Abdul Kalam's favorite

1) Light from the Many Lamps - Lillian Eichler Watson
2) Thirukkal - Thiruvallur
3) Man the Unknown - Dr Alexis Carrel