Sunday, November 22, 2009

FIRST DAY@NSN............

Well this one was due for long - first day @NSN .
hehe.though it’s a week n half by now but still lemme try to grab the essence of that first sight(lol……..) .
well our welcome at NSN was with DELL lappy n NOKIA mobile( thanks to short of time I dint brought nythng……) then was 3 days of sheer high figh people flowing down from Singapore, dubai or wat not just to address this lot of 200 odd people like me…….(IMAGINE!!!). On 5th went to 5 star was a GRAND party @ GRAND…
As if time stands still the days later on went like aeons….3 days n a test ah…I don remember how dy went n why they made me realize eternity..:) Jokes apart we ( our frnd grp of 14 people) were roaming all the time, playing games, chattiyaing….hehe . time was gud. Today I even tried my hands on TT n billiards. Thanks to Shirish n his patience,..i can now hold stick very nicely.
Donno what the coming days will have in store….but yups “ these are really some of the best days of ma life…….”(play the song……..:)

Monday, July 13, 2009

MY HITS........

Well today i wanna write something which always entertains me, at my leisure ........
whenver i'm in light mood n sit n reflect back at d days i have lived ( to put it better- made others (no wrong meanings........)
Just dat i put so many hits in such a short notice dat i often marvel at ma stupidity.
that i decided to write it down n make all smile ( dat yes, indeed dere's a bigger hit maker in dis world..............) though d no. of hits is too large i select out just d top notch one's n jot it down.......

once in my college class......after 45 min. had passed of the subject EMFT, i could no longer bear and asked my faculty "sir , what are we trying to study??".........
n ofcourse that was the most hillarious and talked of moment..i still cherish to have lived upto.....

Once in ma school assembly prayer I forgot to bring news for that day, so my house teacher ( hindi teacher) handed me a paper slip just before d annoucement of news , i unfolded it n started reading it out , try'g my level best to comprehend d uncomprehendabla writing..........
n thanks to my tongue of slip. The news I read is........
" Aaj Damoh(dats d place i was in) mein garaj ke saath .....choole girengey.......>"
Yes thats true , its the news I read.......then whole day long little little children kept coming to my class n ask Di really today choleen will fall, we do hav parathaas with us (grins included)

Keeping up wid my tongue of slip .....once i consistenly read mulayam as "mulyalam" in again a special report or smthg in the displeasure of my teacher's and extreme interest and fancy of my friends .

Then I had a silly habit of being scared all of a sudden of any teacher , three teachers have made me see nightmares n guess who is my saviour in those horrible dreams when they are after me like a lion after its prey , or when they are at my home to whatever I fear they can tell my parents or scold me. nopes its not my parents saviour is always my eldest sis with whom I used to fight so much that I dont think she would have liked the of saving me......(even in dreams)...........

Once I wrote a poem , enforced by my teacher, for our school magazine....a pure tapoo one n really really pathetic.....n lo!!! it was not only printed in the magazine but also spoken out in assembly by a small kid n unfortunately along with the writer's name.... :D ( seems like there's no escape........n i do agree world n life is too short.........)

Being a small sister of "honhaar" elder sister , made me a consistent targets of remarks n I alwayS searched for a seat to hide especially, If the teacher concerned has taught ny of my sis but again I'm default target (everyone easily spots) n only i know how it is "to know the outcome long before, fear it, pray its unhappening" then see all your fears turn true........

When i was in nursery or such standard i remember dreading the results (now i often wonder how could i have understand that there's something called result to be dreaded off..........) god knows ........but yo i was 3rd in that class widout even a slight recollection of a single event of that level.........when the only thing i did was playing with a imaginery friend whom i addressed pinki and my teachers showered me with toffees , amused by the keen imagination of a 3 year old and persistent dwelling to the extent of living it .......
now i do wanna know what they thought of my imaginary friends.............:)

Friday, June 26, 2009

HATS OFF...........

Do you know how is it when u feel like you are sick , you need checkups, you are unwell, you need care , when to any other person you seem to be too fit & fine. They proclaim aloud, its just some grudges of yours , you inculcate & kindle & harp off,  thats gonna surely eat you out, if not any of the dreaded troubles and disease.........

Have you ever met a few of these people sometime?? if yes, then how did u felt?? Irritated? Concerned? Indifferent? Neglected it all too aware that its fake?? how ?? personally i had never tolerated any of such instances and had felt disgusted everytime till one day something changed my mind .completely.....unseremoniously .....and for ever.......

it had been so thoughtful of me to bring this diary else the wait for the doctor's call would have been to hard to take. Being a product of internet world i can never imagine a time like this .with no friends, no chats, no google, no snaps......but just a wait .long , slow, torturous......

i sat there wondering all aloud , keenly n patiently counting away d seconds as they go away how come it's standing still when every day i know i'm more and more less of it.. yet now its a rainy rainy bluey abundance as if entire world is done for and here am i meant to wait as if it'll never come to an end.

Doctor the word invokes a warmth and i swear no matter how many of them i've seen till now i'm yet to find a one unpatient --- loads of keen interest to whatever bla coming from patient and just by proper listening they do away half of the trouble , the uneasiness within the patient and no longer he's troubled – full faith that he's in right hand and will be safe – would be saved – would be addressed – if he ever believed in a supreme power , his faith is fully totally bestowed this godly figure – d doctor the one who will be his saviour when nobody bothers to even listen to them...........

i really wondered this sitting there and amused at the doctors ways and impressed. Forgot all the trouble sitting there....n just watched his multifaceted persona and strength to bear all this like a routine with a consistent smile and extreme care ....and felt no pain, no strain and was all too cheerful even after the long wait .


Saturday, June 20, 2009

Just for you – my friend ( a little bird chats to the one flying.........

I asked myself many times “why do I wanna talk to u??” and when I cant , feel devoid of the essence of life. N then I find that talking to you , I find my world so small, so fine, so pretty , so cute that before I get in a large world like yours I should savor the peace and calm of these moments, though devoid of any of the mega events you narrate about , yet the ease these behold is worth to cherish. No hurry for anything, infinite patience to watch even a leaf to turn and yet no regrets if it cudn't , a simple smile in each day and night is all I dwell in. find ample time to watch the spring , the marvel of wind and the sparkle of moons shine , get tuned to listen to each of nature's rhythm, the cuckoo's melody and sparrow's chirp , there's simply nothing I let get missed . Live ample moments each day to notice even a slight change the weather has turned or the surroundings have worn and tease every buddy seemingly in a hurry and make them smile before the routine takes there concerns away but few moments to laugh heartedly .
All these I never accepted myself but listening to you I acknowledge and become happy again . Till few days pass n all sense gets to evaporate and I strongly feel like talking to you and then as I chat with you I do get rejuvenated n so I thank god there's always someone who makes the world monotony out just by the bakbak n den having being with you wish nothing else- just this ease no big mountains but this beautiful moon;s view as I cherish my moments again.
U may ask why I don have anything much to say ever as its so small to you it wont ever matter but living it everyday and enjoying in it , I know the worth. Then there's something outside which feels missing here, something bigger n fun for which I ought to strive , though unknown its worldly advice to plunge yourself to get at it , heights unachieved n that makes me restless , all ease becomes a burden, all charm looses its fascination and again I wish u to be here to know whats that world I miss ,making me in perennial gloom . Then as u chitchat I realise I don't want any of those uncertain heights ,when more admirable things we can just chat to and I regain my lost self of joy and abundance and all imposed depravity gets astray. just to live up seems sheer joy of complete fantasy till a few more days, n again uncertainty get a grab on me and I find dark clouds behind each rain , a hurricane's approach for each shower of joy and go on thinking of improving , changing to get that imposed set height as a forever bliss till again u come , unaware sense dawns on me – its where I am thats heaven, with the best gift of god “ u as friend” . Then any end seemingly a little more better, a little bit safer ,seems all useless till i'm pinched in d clash of fancy n reality again and I turn back to you.....

To just listen n laugh with you every blemishes loose existence n I return back purer , joyous , happier to again serve the heaven i'm in n then there's only way of spreading joy , one choice to rejoice , and live the life as a gifted way.
I know a day may come we can never happen to meet , months and years may pass away , when even these moments slip existence from memory , just a wonder on something like that ever happened!!
whenever tired of flying high , I sit back and take rest chatting nonchalant and nonsense n then when I do recollect i'll smile that it was the best n a broad smile..........

Sitting alone as all fly I forever doubted on the notion of friends . Now I know its the best that you could have ever got and then having you as friend and chatting on n on , there's nothing else that can ever matter , the day I replay my life to rewind and gain a final insight these will be the key moments i'll again wanna live. Get lost in the fond memories flood. Its too late and i'm gonna miss ma meal writing this in my diary but its always a pleasure safeguarding the treasure and that I set out to do in my own hands. To turn back and turn on any of the pages of these hearty chats. N then i'll again call you and will listen

I often question “ why after months of silence when suddenly u prop up , as if nothing could change, no matter how long it passes with no greetings “ i'm equally pleased to talk to you as if no gap can ever fill in, any long passage the time may travel. The only thing thats there , as u go away is “ do keep propping up more frequent, all too often”
I don't know whats that what ultimately one want in life or what life has in store for me . Many a times I feel I have come all the wrong way and there's no turns to start again .. just before I am in blankness, u call me and I know its just the right which got me a great friend n then I listen to you ---- feeling all the more blessed and filled with zeal and boosted .......................
n when u r frustrated and u listen to me as I struggle to utter a few right words or cut me short then I know i'm not the only one who might have completely screwed up their life but there's one forever companion at my side , turning twice to check what else can be there to run to , when a friend is here to accompany you.
N despite the long sermons I forget all philosophy of win or fail but just keep walking beside you , all the gloom breaks away and frees me in an eternal charm of ur consistent smiles and giggles and silly things – and I know i'm enlightened.

And with such a varied gang of friends I get a universal feel and all little things seem unacceptable and I dismiss as “an ease of flight of illusion” or “ a case of blurred insights or visions ”. N then I wonder why dint all the doomsayers ever got friends like mine to talk to , before being such a nonsense
so blatant and imposing it on and on and spreading it on an array of generations ….....
“n then I smile , dismissing all concerns for a higher gyan I have been bestowed that “i'm the blessed one” with a friend like you to talk to n come to my own spirited world ............
then I realise how much I look forward to talking to you n see just the thought made me awake so long to pen this rare treasure . So how can I emphasise a lil. Less that how much I like talking to you “ as then there's no question, no issues, no if , no but , just a smile and realisation “ indeed i'm the blessed one n will always be, courtsy – friends like thee”!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

who cares??

who likes literature these days?? Anyways Mr. Nitin I hope u very well understand what I want you to write. So please pick up ur instincts and fax it to me by 10 on thursday POSITIVELY to appear on friday review.This was how his editor in chief took care that he couldnt muster any more remarks directed to him. His words full and final.
He was shattered. He dint knew of any responses, silence was the only companion, cudn't believe his ears and his self that he has worked their for 12 long years and now when once in after so long unquestioning service time, he has written a piece of his own choice, so passionately , so truly , so devotedly - with no pretensions, no concerns, no sales pitch but just his little soul and his little childish perfection. Here he is-rejected ,for the first time ever, since 14 yrs back he decided to take writing as his career.
"Who likes literature these days??" A mockery loomed over him .The statement seemed so very known. "'WHO writes literature these days?"remembrance falled on him. It was some years over a decade he had been in his College , still unaware of world out there, content with his little fame in his very own college, happy , satisfied by his top academic performance , no matter it meant nothing to him. Sitting on the staircase shaped auditorium , in full mood of the top college jest , he giggled and laughed , shared a joke or two in class as Ms Shetty , the bespectacled graceful persona, their most respected faculty in those days, stood there with the piece in her hand they had written as part of some creative assignment to evaluate , tune n suggest them ways and means to embark on the journey of creative writing.
That was years ago when he was just entering in the real world and the story is still the same, just the question framed differently. Yet now he wondered how could he expected it to change. All his anger was directed to him now. How can he ever do this to himself?? Allow his very self at disposal of some other insensible money blinded being ! Why?? But he knew this was his only chance , and he knew he had to try without an iota of doubt anywhere in his conscience.

All his life he had doubts, innumerable ones at that, for all the decisions he had to take, all the endeavors he indulged in.Whether he should take history or creative writing in major? whether he should wear blue or black on his date ? whether he should move to Mumbai or Delhi to settle?
whether he should marry now or not?whether he should--------
He tried to get rid of these sick memories,focussed on the crystal on his table, relaxing , holding his breathe and tried to soothe himself and do what what he always did to run away from these unpleasant facets of life and was now perfect at implementing it -"write whatever was asked of". With no personal emotions associated, just as a third person or uninterested critic's remarks.
Yet his pen refused to move even an inch , unlike all instances that had occured before.

" Who writes literature these days?" ."I DO" .Prompt came the bold reply , almost as a statement you are just supposed to take it without any question as an axiom. They had laughed like maniacs that day.Then they had all turned back , to have a look of the joker who managed to utter that while enjoying sharp comments heartedly. Just that the view of persona that was the source of this utterance , made him uneasy. He wanted to join rest all in being indifferent to his looks n confidence , just concentrate on making fun n savour this moment as the most exquisite one showered on them to laugh for weeks , yet his senses refused to comply to his commands , as if imprisoned by that person . "He the best scorer of the batch, should not feel uneasy". His consistent musings left him no better. He felt uneasy. Just that he dint knew what happened to him by his sight.
Mr Nayar was there , "shaku" as he was called. His face told he was not kidding but only he and Ms Shetty could acknowledge that.He regretted why half the world is dumb to not even grasp the most obvious persperctive .Then she told Mr Shaku to meet her after the class and the mood was set.
Days after that he still had dreams of extreme challenges. a tiger devouring a person, seeking supreme rights -asking -" who objects to it"...."I DO' .Mr Nayar in his usual confident, composed self stood there.
The world at the mercy of devils......".who will protect you " i do" on n ..............till he awoke in perspiration.Then he dint knew , why he had admired him so much and unknowingly Nayar was his icon.

The bell rang,nas if to awake him from his reverie, the secretary was in and keen on at the list of things to do for the day. "An appointment sir, followed by a company meeting , then the seminar and u have to address a gathering -------on and on….. sir! R U OKAY?? Sir???"
" Ya oh ye suchitra please cancel all the engagements for the day.".
" Sir?? ….. but today u have pretty important things lined up."
" Please shuchi inform them all , I am unwell". "R u sure sir??" ." Ya please and no calls please until I tell". "Okay sir. Shall I call a doctor for u sir??"." No I’ll take care of it dear. Thanks . u don’t worry, I’m fine."

"How important he was for the society",he wondered. Everybody thought he had a superb career to be jealous of . He wrote all his whims and wishes and was paid hefty for it and an array of awards always followed him. But who knew he never wrote a single piece of his wish.
First the manager dictated him what to show, what to present. Then when he jumped on to newspapers and magazines the editor chalked out the sensational picture to depict and then there he was complying, exaggerating, copying, assembling and modifying , just that he always had a better frame in mind , to fit the things to it . so no matter what he wrote , his piece was unchallenged creative piece.
Yet he dint have freedom for just once. This time he wrote just to come out of this tabbu he carried deep within and could muster no courage to share it with anyone , left on his own to feel its pangs.

He thought of Mr Nayar , as he always did. “STRANGE ARE THE WAYS, I SAVOR CHANGE” he recollected. Every now and then he found himself copying and quoting the lines of nayar’s piece.
Even when he proposed to the gal of his dreams, he took out an entire page , learned it , felt it , remembered it and uttered and she caught unaware, charmed by the beauty and the perfectness , was so mesmerized , spellbound by the depth she accepted.

Even now she keep on telling him that it was his best creation ever. He found his spirits burned . He was useless , with no creative instincts. He should not waste his time and efforts in a domain which is not his. No , this time he would write his own creative piece. And very truly, modestly, sincerely he had it written . “TRUTH IS THE END” . NO , no.. How could he remember each of his lines, he read 12 years back, till date!!!

He was passing out of the corridor that day on his way to watercooler of the school that he had heard , “please leave me a copy at my desk, I do wanna go through it” . “Sure Mam” was the only response.Every person wanted to chat with the revered Ms Shetty , yet here he was with a gr8 opportunity and what he said was just two words. Ridiculous!!!

His curiosity took him to Ms Shetty’s room in evening. His heart beating so loudly so constantly on such a high pitch and scale , he was more afraid that someone will hear them and come. He spotted the writeup on the table . Put a rod with hook on its cover and stole it out of the window and then raced out of institute without even turning once.

Then all night he read , without even a blink. His mom was so curious “whats so special beta that u cant afford few moments to come down and have dinner.?” “Mom please, for GOD SAKE , will u please give me freedom for a day?? I don wanna be disturbed please for god sake don bother me anymore.” He had replied irritated. She understood and never asked me of it.

Munching on packets of chips and peanuts that day was his best remembered one.
Next day he reached the college before time . First and last time ever . Took opportunity n put it thereon its coveted place and never ever glanced back at Mr. Nayar.

Yet every meeting, every seminar, every writeup those same words came out . no matter what they were now his own creation.Yet he felt deeply cheated and he cant share it with anymore . First he dreaded that call of Mr Nayar will come and he saying just two words “ WHY CHEATING??” and he being dumb , devoid of all words and he shivered.
But just that the day never came and “ TIME DO HEAL ALL NOTIONS” . So I too had been comfortable with this and never spared even a second for this stuff.

But why is he thinking all this today?? No matter , his relished piece was rejected but he still is the best writer of the city and with all the success one can ever hope for. He should be happy. Only thing is happiness never exists imposedly.
To and fro , to and fro , …….
Suddenly idea dawned on him , he should check his mail, in case a single magazine agreed to print it , considering his immense fame. Regret . nxt : we are sorry to say…..nxt sub: Re : a creative dawn …his senses boosted . yes . yes. Sir with all due wishes I express my inability….
Blank . He closed his eyes and sat still with blankness all around.

He wondered how Mr Nayar managed to do that. Though very few know of his nearly unknown biweekly magazine , home run by him . But he knew too well and made it a point to get a copy in the name of his maid to avert suspicions. How could he have existed for 12 long years with the entire world against him. He felt an urge to call him and utter all, to ask for his forgiveness , to extend a hand of friendship ,he had so long escaped and had rejected even as an option.
He reached for the phone , dialed few digits but couldn’t dial the no.
He went home , watched tv and " PRETENSIONS WAS ALL" he could see anywhere he turned, “A PILE OF LIES “ . "ITS ALL WHAT YOU CAN TALK". So he told himself , forget of this originality and carry on with this successful image.
Next day he sat in his room. Wrote the article for his boss and with a cup of coffee opened his mail to forward to his boss. That he noticed a mail blinking in his mailbox and address all too familiar.
He opened it and it said, “Will u write literature for me??, MR Nitin.” His spirits knew no bounds . He was on 7th heaven wordless. With his airy speed he picked up the phone and dialed, “hello Nayar , can I join ur magazine as a junior writer. I am a novice in creativity but can work harder to deliver better .I assure u I will contribute my best to it. A caring smile was all he heard, but still he felt so free first time so true , so pure …… light.he knew what bless was……
“Now Mr Nitin when can I expect the second piece and did I said ur cabin is beside mine”. 2nd ?? oh I had send him the piece too!!! They both laughed like kids and rejoiced . “How much he wanted to be able of this friendship he realized and its it happened right away before he plunged again in the loop and could never had returned , no matter however silly, he has escaped.

Now he knew what was so precious of that piece, it was his way back to himself, his redemption and to his friend who assisted him so long . “ FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO CAN WHEN OTHER’S CANT “ he smiled. Sometimes memories lasts very long………

Friday, May 15, 2009


Yes I'm a poet looking for applause
I need a crowd and an ovation filled response
Or I stand out and spill out tears to fill few buckets
But sorry no other option is existent

As a poet am I ..meant to write a novel
To pass all the plethora of time god allotted
Oh whatever it is , I have no intention to be a mere mortal
to just gobble , drink ,dance and die some day

But I need to stand apart , get noticed and move on
As to be in the crowd is not my piece of cake
No! give me any heightened sense of loss and pain
Or lend me an out-worldliness to watch and witness

But no don't ever expect me to be normal
And for that matter to be with you , or be jovial
As either I'm exuberant or gloomy
But for me normalcy was never meant to be

As just a poet am I
Meant to wither , meant to suffer
Meant to exaggerate every event
Yet relish the flow of the string of emotions
to dwell in the depths unknown

Yet see it in the unexpressed , unexplored
Voluble , torturous , unconcerned
Whatever you may feel or call me
Yet I remain the same, mystery clad

A poet- meant to be different and stand apart
Now don't be picking some tangible blows
Or for that matter some sharp remarks
As I'm unhurt, absent minded and still

I'll see the glory amongst the make of a tool
And a contrast in  words and action
As a poet am I , meant to be flop
But no don't ever start calling me that

As its again a matter of time, as it moves ahead
After a generation gap , I may be revered and praised
You may think of think of taking an autograph just in case
But no! don ever take me more than lightly

As a poet am I, to refresh your moods
Pick you up, put out all of your gloom
To make you smile and display your broken teeth
As just a poet am I and a poet I'll be............


Now I am writing it to u all. Yes my dearest pals, my friends of these 4 yrs. We all knew in some of our corners of thought this was due, yet when its a reality; its impact left a large void , marking a silent end of 4 yrs of absolute joy. The mark was our great party on 4th –the best ever and then the convo till then no senti's , no emotions , just a shared smile , dreams , understanding and care .Talks of do keep in touch, keep scrapping and chatting surfaced at the convo yet it felt out of place . We all were like oh don’t, it can’t b true, why they are talking so??We'll meet again and again;-same as usual and this can never come to an end. How can it ever !!!

We never realize the importance of the moments, the lightness, the warmth we are getting when we are there; amidst that scenario but when devoid of it we do know the details we never think we noticed before . Same is the case with us , the college days offered an array of good days, a chain of plethora of varied things and now that we are all spread across length and breadth of our Country ; we know what they mean and realize why they are gonna be cherished throughout our life and its tale told to all young enthusiasts as our collection of treasured tales.

Departing had never been an easy job. In bollywood movies the overtly emotional tone its imparted; can make many of us run away from the mere word, but even as a generality -its not easy. When bidding adieu to our best friends, great pals, wonderful people - a feeling of lost, devoid, vacuum we noticed; its presence was just sensed but the impact comes much later now; days after when we are all away and we recollect the days that can never be the same again; those which can never return as same in tune and melody , ease and free spirit (for now we are gonna enter “corporate world” – to quote Avasthi sir).

There’s some reservations to what it will be like. How we will cope up there yet a new hope glimmers that we’ll have some pocket money to waste and indulge in exquisites we so much longed for (new stocks of handset, lappy, ipods, designer clothes, branded watches, outings what not!! ; most interesting part is that everything we plan to afford by our first salary :D) ; sadly though joining refuses to come .Yet we cant resist the wings of planning’s ,of the world where we earn, from spreading wide and high. Yet we wish that college days may go on. The spontaneity must remain the same with an added advantage.

Lets see whats in store till then virtual bakars are no less entertaining. Be available forever, for the same collegic bakars, though virtual. So hope we don ever know the impact of departure as being communication engineers that we can always ensure. RIGHT . KEEP ROCKING TC. CYA.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

What is contentment in life??

Is it relishing whatever god has given to u. Is it being patient against ur sense of getting it all too easily.Is it throwing all the burden of right or wrong on others shoulders..........
Is it knowing that u r the one caught unaware, amongst some silly Ideas or vanity or interests of other one. Yet being unconcerned to it .Is it the way of life or is it being in the vicious loop of achievements to find contentment as its end product?? Does some unrequired overboardness of one need to be tolerated to avoid negative incidences , not too cherishable or memorable one’s?? Is it a consistent compromise to find a moderate way out?? If not, then whats the way out ?? Is it to shout out loud as we often find helpless people doing in hope that maybe their voice makes someone assist them?? With the pertinent hope that next time their grey cells will make them aware against such extreme measures by the intensity of your voice....Else the story will go on repeating. With you as the persistent victim of uncontentment ...

Now "victim" is the word which makes me go wild.I can never allow me be the state it refers to......I can be extreme, I can be bad, I can be mad, I can be little bit too much -I wont mind.......But please, being a victim is out of question, out of choice for me.Yet this is what i feel when i know i'm at the receiving end of others silly obsessions n notions...with none of any inherent flaws of mine. Now now.. Then whats the way out ??...Whats the life and its fundamentals then?? I go on with all the unintelligent acts as this instant I donno whats right or wrong. And seek out ways I cud have followed, to avert that fate. And that extreme self impositions makes me unsure if I had ever been right at the first place... Now now if I say it so-that I had been right, it may be because we see one side of the story as per our convienience...May be there are viewpoints and faces unseen. But how does it entitles anyone to mistreat me. How does it justifies the life's take on me?? We all hope for a path exactly correct which implies that we always being in the luxuries department of it. Never ever facing any tide, never been challenged on the issue of our humanity.And all the bla bla we consider as ingredients of ideality......To put it in short -just being at ease.....always , anyway n any place.......
Why does approval of others becomes a must to assign value to our worth?? Why does it ever matters what others say? When was it that our wishes needed to be suppresed for fear of comments?? Why sometimes events make people go wild, to the extent that all beauty of life is lost. Then i donno what is it-thats required and i loose all sense or so called "senses"......

There's nothing big enough; all is too minor ..too little...too immaterial to make fuss off. This all is nothing then what cruelties life offers to some on their platter by no mistake of them. Its then that this craze seems too immature. And we know we are long way to go....before acceptance. Before being able to be a tool to do better in this world. Its none of it. I know its pretty tough,.as life is a comedy in its way of progressing. Though its not over a span of time. When what remains is just a big void......with scars and nothing else but just the feel of its pain then its too hard to be this objective to origins and end. But what remains is a sheer hope and a belief that if there’s someone who knows the truth may it consistenly help us.............

Thursday, April 30, 2009


what is the meaning of good or bad.?Its when I start thinking this –I get a shudder because what I can tell is -whether this is good Or this is bad but what they mean? Well we may come up with so many explanations but still we will move nowhere. Since these concepts were not built by nature like we can say this is the symptoms of gud and this of bad ….but it’s a product of series of learning in our formative years as influenced by our society ,guided by our social roots and what we learnt through our Experience of life.
This is why Once slavery was a good practice for Britain & other mighty powers.
,wars 2 extend kingdom was once the most glorified thing on earth;once entire nation existed just by the will of the king and the only task they were living for -- was to serve the royal family and Inheritance decided the next ruler not ability;before French revolution , freedom of speech was a sin-- for which great people like Copernicus were executed; equality of women was once the wildest thought on earth for so many years and that is why once kings had 100s of wives without any human rights violation.
Infact there are 1000’s of such example which were once the practice and now. we
can’t even think of justifying them, on any grounds . This further complicates our
notion of gud or bad.So let me just put it as per the thoughts -- gud is something which is desirable for progress of society and bad is anything undesirable. Having said so we are again trapped since entire concept is dependent on society ,its language and its setup.

So its sure that today what is clearcut good may not preserve its identity .As good in future is the collective thought of that of the generation concerned.To classify it in any of these two broad categories.

Some of may say that killing people ,terrorist activities, crimes and n number of other such acts are always bad irrespective of your Or mine opinion in that. Ya no doubt they are bad today but still it’s the collective thinking of the society which decides things as gud or bad --nothing is obviously so for long.

As half of the world survives on animal food, yes killing of living organisms for their own survival and mind it -don’t dare call it sin or bad, for otherwise there will be starvation and what not.?? So still killing is a preferential gud or bad act based on who ur target is….Osama Bin Laden or any president….

We always see the things through a filter of our mindset and our perspective and any other viewpoint is always strange and weird for us.We all know in nomadic days survival was the synonym of killing. When one nomadic tribe killed all people of some other ,it was celebrated as a great victory ,physically challenged People were once killed just after birth (as per the conditions of those days they wud be a burden 4 d entire community).

What do u think they were fooling themselves???? That it was bad still a reason 4 their celebration .why to visualize history when all the burning controversial issues of today- War on Iraq and Afganistan, Mercy Killing, Nuclear Technology, Space Explorations, Love marriage- Arrange marriage, Live in relationships, Genetic Modifications, Joint or Nuclear families, Gender transformations ,Late night parties and other such issues ….u cant classify them in d two since whatever logic u give for the side u take …half of the world thinks and practices otherwise . So its best to leave it to their own personal convictions

I wonder when till date girl child is killed in foetus stage, I wonder when I see the images of women of Afganistan doing all the job still living a life which 4 me is next to hell, I wonder when people in the name of fashion do weird things . But then I reconcile myself by telling maybe its good for them but it can never be for me

In the same way as no matter what medical science, polls, people or reports say karela ,Economics is always Bad 4 me while fast foods , maths and net surfing is very good for me. Infact any system u take , any viewpoint u make, U’ll always find opinions just contrary to that .So why is this so ?friends this is all because of differences in the thought of the Societies and people why the same thing can be good or bad .so no longer be trapped in long doubts of good or bad just think if it will make everyone happy in long run will they appreciate it and decide .


Stop, be at ease, reflect, enjoy d divine power
Wake up the dreams to touch the stars
Rejoice each moment forget all scars
Renew ur fancyland n create the mark
Time seeks ur soothing presence
Dance wid the melody to enchant
for here comes the 1 n only starcast
Awake dearest, learn the tunes
Blessed with life its ur fortune…
Kindle the sparks of heavenic zest
To paint the glory landscape is set
See the bliss of ur creative dawn
Don wither as yet another yawn

DAASTAANEIY TC..............

He Doston……Suno Tumhari Daastaan
Jisse Ekdam Badal Gaye Ho Tum
Maan Lo Sudhar Gaye Ho Tum!!!
Yun To Bigdi Nahi Thi Kabhi Jindagi
Bas Maya Se Thi Paripurna, Aparichit ,
College Ki Jindgi Se Vakai
Badal Gaya Hai Jagat
Jaan Lo, Badal Gaye Ho Tum

Tum Tum Hi Ho, Par Tum Nahi
Sahi Bas Yahi Hai,Galat Bhi Yahi
Fark Bas Itna ,Ab Rules Banate Ho Tum
NAYI DAGAR Sajate Ho Tum
College Na Ja Gt Lagate Ho Tum
Aa Bhi Gaye To, Ralamandal Jaate Ho Tum
Padai Kiye Bina Chand Marks Le Hi Aate Ho Tum
Yun Hi Bakar Maarne Mein Samay Bitate Ho Tum
Mast Maula Rahi , Dosto Ka Saath Nibhato Ho Tum......
Sabko Ekdam Fokte Ka Aabhaas Karate Ho Tum
Jahaan Man Ki Chah, Use Hi Raah Banate Ho Tum
Haan Yakiin Es Kadar, Sudhar Gaye Ho Tum

Arpit Sabhi Aashaye ,Ye College Ke Din(genious wid unheard exaggerations)
Aabhash Ki Wo Sari Utkantaiye (Fruitless Efforts---himself so big, yet bigger talks…..)
Suchimay Palon Ki Mala Sanjoaye. .( Wonderland’s Joy)
Aaj Ho Hi Gaya A Dvitiya Apoorv Gauravmaya ( Basically A Duo Wid Difference)
Aditi Ka Bolbaal , Dhawal Bhi Kya Kamaal..( D Reigning Queen Ah remarkable Flow Of Words N Mysterious Prodigy)
Ankoan Ka Hi Khel Hai, Hai Na Ram,Kyon Mukul?( Mischievious, Ah!! Some1 Said Sleepy???)
Par Kya Ab Gt Par Hoga Yun Gahra Prahaar...???
Aao Prakash Class Bunk Maarne.. ( To Make A Mark)
Jatna Ho Jatin Ka, Ho Saumya Sachin (U Just C D End Result, Unconquerable Dramaking!)
To Khatm Sab Athchane, Hal Sab Mushkilen…(Shacchhin N dhacchhin!!!! Who Is Talked Off?)
He Vishisht, Ubharon Ban College Gt Ke Ishth ! ( Somebody’s Smiling???)
Phir Ho Anand Se Paripurna Ye Samavesh ( D Phatoon Ka Bhandaar , phodu at last instant!!!)
Amit Se Rahein Sab , infinite Vinay ( D Real Intellectual ..Just Comprehend His Writing!!.)
Or Usme Badale Jindagi , Badalo Tum ( Final Year At Last!!)

Ritu Ka aagamen, to chahu disha hai Shweta ( Da Orkut Savvy &Did U Said Beautiful Handwriting??)
Naveen Har Kirne ,Saurabh Si Fateh ( Haan Ji “GAYA” Saamrajya! N A Lekhak In Make…)
Man Pe Sadaiv Rahe Monika ( d indomitable spirit ---“She Can Still Do It”!!!)
Ya Ho Madhur Aagaaz Sneha Ka ( Da Little Nightingale)
Mayuri Sam Nritya , Aamisha Harle Nisha ( Excuse Me, Its Party Time!! Every1 Be Aside)

Aao Aaj Panoti Machaye, ( U Barbei Doll )
Ab Na Anamika Ban Rah Jayen ( Ya She Does Sings!!!)
Ujagar Ho Kanchan Se Bas Khushi Or Hridayit Ullaas (No Comments!! U Felt Like Laughing??)
Umange Jo Man Ki Hoan , Payee Astitva ( D Disco Queen )

Ho Ila Si Friend To Kyon Na Dhoom Machaiye ( D Unpredictable…Spontaneous …Breeze Of Springtime)
Anutha, Albela Sa Jeevan, Gatisheel Ho Vivek (u saw his goggles or not??ishtyle!!!)
Ho Devata Sa Vesh Haan Ban Davesh ...( U Felt D Brain At Work???)
Nikhil Aur Akashy , Nitika Ki Hi Say , (heraan pareshaan, cutest smile,oh! Lets Get Roaming Yaar!!!!…..)

Ye Jeevan Ki Nayi Paribhasha Samajh Gaye Ho Tum
Maan Hi Lo (Ulaakhit )Doston! Badal Gayi Hai Jindagi
Badal Gaye Ho Tum……….

Reflections Of The Four Years......

As the days pass away, with each ticking seconds turning to minutes, minutes to hours and marking yet another day's end .
I cant help but count all those years reduced from the kitty of College...
Every day thought involves of what this College means 2 us?
In 1st year when we came the only thing we all did was complaining of each n every thing of College. Right from faculties to timings to mess to no col bus to canteen to labs........watever we cud think of….We found ways to criticize.
Then I never knew I can miss this College so much...

Then somehow passing along , half awakened(by all my efforts) in IT's combined classes....bearing Madhvi mam's sarcastic smile (n smiling all along wid her), Karma ki bakwaas..n Paria's series for 2 long yrs..... the Hostel Mess
Amidst of all dis.....Masti...the long Birthday Parties(bumps, cakes , djs ).....n champu bankar visits to seniors, their endless justifications and impositions.....
Mess mein daily pange.....ya searches of what can be eaten , any combination to work that day(daal roti, raita roti, ghee roti ..or chawal but wid wat?? Sugar or milk..when left with none..the 1 and only sahara “Maggie”).
Carrying on with these all along and easing out any of the 17 dormmate friends crying , missing her home, all seemed too much to take.............

Came 2nd year and then we recognised the bunking phenomenon and long bunks.......
PT's and GT's series, internals mein fekhna and external mein lambi lambi thokna,.........
d perfect weavers of unexistent fundaes and misconcepts ...........
The days were gud, easy , chilled n relaxed.......

Then the fad of toughest sem in 3rd year and the terror accompanying it ( in the form of RAKSHA mam—I still remember being topmost in her hit list )
Then VLSI terror and mystery ......(divided opinions for RAVI SIR).
The best revisions and re-re visions yet unable to answer questions of Sashi sir. Yet his keen interest and enthusiasm to make us understand.
1st open book exam experience, and wondering 4 entire test duration , still unbelieving is this a reality..can this ever happen in IET??(Tapan sir is a real gentlement).
and long cherished notions, discussions and suggestions to make it the norm.

The 3rd and final years of untiring sampling teachings, any and every faculty can come but will start from sampling. I was really fed up of it.(whats so special in sampling??).
raksha mam's terror, pratibha mam's pace, khilzi sir's deep mysterious depiction of
hidden beauty n meaning of mathematical xpressions ,all seemed like eternity..

When seniors were here we felt they are gud, when they'll go we'll have our say.......
but then we found our juniors in that place.........
n when we now see our still juniors , we feel these batches are really gud.
I should have been a batch up or one down...........
yet our batch remains uncomparable as the best batch ever..
from its strong solidarity, to freak outs, to so many jacks and masters of various fields.
gaming experts and computer geeks , champions of hindi movies, shero shayaris and cards and what not......

Yet 2day its hard to believe it has ended (so swiftly at that).
No longer we need to queue up for paying fees for giving exam.......
No longer will we have to arrange for files, for submission on next day......
OR Bunk Classes in case we are caught unaware on the D day itself...
Our very own farzi IET Stationary as only ray of hope.........
All was a Beautiful dream......

The loads of plannings of cultural fests...
The consistent cry for canteen's standard, hopeful wishes on its shifting.....
Library Queues n masti there , dragging n pulling n pushing accompanied by phate’s..........
Then right. from the fear that our college will be closed, to proud at its fests , rock shows and placements and Janta making a mark over every arena here and there.......
We could transcend the barriers at very short notice-no Guard band , all overlapped and unclarified demarcations..........
2nd yr GRE bhoot to 3rd n final years craze for CH and CAT bhoot......
Yet our Tokekar sir with his long untiring fascination with Gate and unending queries for GATE APPEARING, qualified, toppers ....

The assignments for defaulters at the nth hour of exam.
All this has come to an end at last.
Yet wat remains is none of this.......
But the newly constructed cool building of main bloc, a much better canteen area..
a legacy of 100ths of teams of juniors making bots from 1st yr......
The fond rose gardens in front of main block and Mech block
The B blocks Garden n GRAFFIET.......
The D blocks parking cum cricket ground cum chatting n hanging out place............
And the endless days of final year fun and photosessions, Ralamandal trips and birthday parties - celebrations, srimaya, gk n treats.........
“ DAM SHARAAJ” and “TRUTH and DARES” .............
All mingled in a smile n laughter emerging from one mingling in rest ......coming out as a
single huge picture of true fun and joy............

And we find ourselves looking forward to convo...(though not at all to final result) ...esp. the HAT throw and robe (which was so much endangered.... in tune to our batch's tradition to attract all the deviations from the ideal it in managing our fests or say in our schedules or writing experiments for external viva ).
So the time ticking away silently seems too much to bear.......
The endless photoshoots and videos & slams sayeth it all.............
proud to be of this batch .............
May we take a new endeavour.......
As there have been few , very remarkable ones at that like Sahni sir's starting abacus club and all d events -4 which the College is well known till now , graffiti which adds requisite flavor to the college and a mouthpiece of voice of its janta ,to having well known bands in the campus to perform, to starting of convocation (though by our own contri till now)...........

Lets start a new Endeavor of a strong alumni base formation........
For our college and its progress...( to finally have a say in the mismatched and mismanaged mechanical monopoly n dominance.).....
Lets not just complain at back but take the lead to make it a true college of ours.
With no preferred branches or 1 person dominating and dictating the terms and conditions and eating away the zeal of others.......
Lets make a platform for us to join hands for a college which is truly our cherished one and will always remain…in our fond memories.....