Chilla in Music - derived from Chilla-nashini

Today I came to know of a strange practice, amongst very advanced and skilled singers and artists (I guess for that matter:D), of secluding yourself for forty days in a home and practicing your art - say instrument playing - same time, everyday , for same no. of hours - say for 10 to 15 hours without any failure. no interaction with outside world ; no sleep also - just practice and practice; with very restricted food, no non-veg or egg, no grains as well. No social interaction of any kind  and then you are one level up than before, after the end of forty days. This seemed so impossible - yet so enlightening, as if mastering an art is the ultimate goal of life and attainment of excellence by the will n practice..........

I am told Ustad Bade Gulam Ali Khan -Had done 3 or 4 such Chilla's in is lifetime - hats off.....I would love to seclude myself and probably write & write & write or sing n sing n sing. Wouldn't it be wonderful , but getting up after 8 hours of sleep is unmanageable, how can one go on without sleep  and retain the jest for more than a month!! It makes me, take excuse from my fancies and move on..........(from fancies ) :D

Best encounter ever.......with The Classical music!!

So today was tuesday and as always the day of classical songs -the day of Vocal class!!! The only difference being -today no singing just discussions of great mastroes already there .

Our Guru Pandit Nayan Ghosh - a very well known artist himself -with an expertise on tabla, sitar n vocals and a great Guru in all sense- had the recordings of Ustad Amir Khan, Ustad Vilayat Khan and few of his own.

It was an amazing experience. THe first was Ustad Amir Khan's Raga Marva ; it started and I felt like someone is sad- deeply yet not regretting , yet not devastated
-but is witnessing or watching the emotions as a third person , with a momentary composure and a deep search again . Guruji told that the raga stands for the
feeling of long cherished wish for some object/person/situation of fancy - a very deep wish , which after a long time gets fulfilled ; only to be gone again with the same feeling of intensity returning . THe absence of the base swar "SA" leading it more melonchaliness and solitude and search element, since SA offers a base , a contentment - which was rare in this composition .........n so the discussion went on from Ustad Amir Khan's life and portrait; to Bade Ghulam Ali Khan , to Ustaad Vilayat Khan , like one being Sunshine n other moonshine ; the two sides of a coin - with one being KIngly -thumri based maestro n other more spiritual introvert n contemplating - the essence of Classical music.Then we heard the Sitar recording of Vilayat Khan -on Raga Tilak Kamod - which seemed as if a Girl is very happy - a sheer joy herself ;
she is expressing and enacting the bliss as a dance, as a song, as a lively celebration in a garden nearby lake n with friends. As she approaches the trees dancing , as if a sustained joy , not as a spurt -lost in a while ; but a continuum - retained in rhythm in melody , in song , in dance , in enactment n depiction and influencing every object and person coming in contact with it . Say girl dancing and enacting- the joy and contentment; the trees in unison swinging their arms to her beats ;flowers decorating her path -the pink petals - with their fall from trees following the taal of the song ; as waves of river following the beat to spread out ;
n so the clouds wandering in the sky in celebrations n person to person the joy propagating with song , as song and enacted as the dance - the momentum in progression -

Yet I felt somehow it has to be morning scene , nno sunlight, no rain - why i donno . Like it has to be the most pleasant weather - what you call the SUhana mausam
-a little cozy, a little cold n very sweet , pink petals, crystal clear waves , slow fragrant wind and green n plump trees ..........



Just loved the compositions- dint knew how can the joy be sustained for so long- but never once I felt its overdone......it was a superb composition , most beautifully
n intensely done . The fastest SItar can be played , for once I dint felt like novice trying to understand the deep hidden dimension of the rendering but I felt like a recipient of the profusing joy -created n depicting by the master's Sitar ...........

Random thoughts........

wish I could know , the unity behind zillion wishes
wish I could feel, the way amidst the waylessness
the spark of light , the radiance of sunlight
to the dream thats one with mine
wish I could know what to seek, what resist
wish there was a way to be assured .....
that come what may its apt
wish I knew how to fly , to get to new dimension....


Republic Day it is....time to get the customary sweets
n a checklist of progress done till date
with a bigger sheet of wishlist n todo's
the same old list from years
dragging n continuing n growing.......
the wish list, just of wish forever...........
Miniscule the role I play in the importance of this day
yet maybe if I better put myself.........
the country would have progress - by just another bit
thats what I can do - lemme see to it
that would be my celebration
that will be my tribute........
no other song i will sing
no other glory i will paint
I will silently play the best ever
n that will be my celebrations........
Republic day - time to pray
next one will be more promising
n on happier n inspiring note .......\\\



whats this moment offers -lemme take it fullon
will this twilight be more bright?
can the dawn be more mystified?
I donno - n don wanna explore

big gaint small tiny - all myth words
confining n hiding the world behind
lemme just sit n njoy - free of push to analyse
Lemmme just take my pen - n finish off, the lot of pending assignments
lemme just sit n paint 100ths of paintings I dream to have
lemme just sing the melodies - I fancied to know for long
lemme just be the being I have dreamt for aeons.....
what big or minute maybe the end....
lemme just get in the process
lemme have a clear mind - to dream new dreams
to search new heights
how long can I live on the small dreams of childhood
lemme just start right away n fulfill them one on




------to note

Happening ...........

Today I was very moved, disheveled -whatever you wanna say , u can.The point is -feel good factor was gone , like anything.All my well wishers seemed distant n unapproachable. The kind of loneliness n gloominess which dawns in one fine day -when you feel ,some clarity missing. n u seek an upper hand of understanding n devotion.Well so was given to me today.Nothing should have made me cry like a helpless person , the manner I did today.No Bhakti song has ever moved me so much to start crying or being overtly emotional.Today somehow out of perfect singing n disinterested outlook-debating the idea of leaving immediately -go back n do some assignments out of plethora pending ; somehow I sat there-"HAPPENING" as had been the "HAPPENING" in mess when Harsha had asked me to accompany her, and as has been when I somehow resolved to go n sit with person I dint wanted to initially.Well its amazing-once The tears started rolling -I knew I cant control them, but I dint knew what was I crying for?? The unease I had born today? my regrets at not following the Kriya daily? my casual attitude to all the n resolutions I had taken this year? A picture of Krishna being the Form we seek? A question of why I had somehow got my faith on God shattered once n shaken numerous times? I have noticed the "HAPPENING" part plethora of times. The homework needs no work for me-as I had so many times wondered on how I landed here- when thats the wildest manner I could have ever imagined it to be. n yet its the best way in which I would ever like to be..........the consistent rhymes of song insisting that God is there in the form u want
just call him whole-heartedly, U don't give the best try,, u don't really wish it happen , u don't have the faith to believe in what u seek..........
indeed the struggle was persistent.........what was it, how true , how true, yet how tragic , how tragic.......

Anyways so the story continues, out of shame , out of cluelessness , out of ridicule -I started wondering , controlling, trying to evade , trying to escape
yet trying to sort out the feelings n jumble it was.Then suddenly Rashmin sir came- n it was feeling of relaxation n faith returning. Then he made us close eyes n do the few minutes "I am nothing, I seek nothing" n just let thoughts come whatever they may be- the struggle intensified , tears more prominent n emotions more
powerful - I knew if even one had eyes open , I will be caught n questioned, with no escape , I donno Rashmin Sir himself was following his instructions or not
. Soon enough it ended, I wiped out my tears as gracefully n unwatched as possible. n then the chant n singing continued.Krishna Govind Govind ....Gopal........
n it was the bliss of peace, the peace of mind , the calm of self ....then I knew coming there was not a mistake - it was a "HAPPENING" that led me to where I
needed to be most. Well yet during the discussion of knowledge sheet I was wondering at times , how much of this I am gonna take, n accept. HOw much of this is true?
HOw much of this holds? n is it anyway fake? donno - but what it imparted to me was way more than the scrupulous questions could muster to break.So peacefully
enjoying the satsang I sat . Thankful to the lord -for the reassurance n for everything..........


Lemme recapture some good lessons that rang a chord -

1) Do it till you become it.........sink the Titanic of doership!!!
The first half emphasizing -practice friendship,Seva, calmness, kriya n peace- till it becomes the nature.U r no longer keen n concerned of "Doing it".
as in the useless proud n tension of ownership eating away the life with needless worries of results n associations.Eg of "Have u ever Boiled water?"
and "Have u ever taken breath n digested food?" - as effortless n concernless as that - just seemed the way ...........just the work.


the 2nd half -Titanic - was huge comparison to make n apt in a way , by the gigantic gravity being reflected n the end it has to reach.........."ship" to sink.

2) Its "HAPPENING"- for whatever u think ur doing or have done - there has been hundreds of factors playing a role.a perfect chain of events n "HAPPENING"
leading you to where u are. yet when u say I did it - u forget n wipe out the role of all others. n magnify the minute role u had in the whole affair.
JUst as the Lizard holding the roof , supporting it just by herself- ur in perennial foolishness - that U r doing thats why this or that happened.
Tensions , fretting n frustrations sprout - jealously , anger n inconsistency come.
It was beautiful , as I was struggling hard again with the purpose n meaning of my life n how much to try to people to respect me......."being the football of others opinion " is hard to give up it seems..........

3)Then he told numerous stories of Guruji - I dint knew how much to believe so I just sat n relished the idea - as u do with fairylands n disneyworld.......
wish to meet Guruji someday - to have enough faith to trust n wonder .

4) He told "Hard Work " is a misnomer , its for laborers......there are 3 kinds of people "Siddha - who just take Sankalp n task is done
people come n seek to do it , things "HAPPEN" ..........
2nd is Intelligent - he does the smart work .......the work is still done with no major though or effort or negative emotions involved......
3rd is the Murkha - who frets n postpones n does so called "Hard work " which is nothing but culmination of all the negativities we carry with us ........



5) To the question of creativity - he told "when the mind is at peace- it happens - the impressions of great people u have in ur mind - give rise to something great
from u too". Then he gave eg. of EMily Baer n some whatkinson or something - who achieved great feats in music compositions at very unbelivable age........


So all in all - its good to be part of Satsang- I got my peace for the time being..........Jai Gurudev!!!!!!!

Lemme be kind , one more time

Lemme be kind , one more time
I have been fooled many a times
It wont hurt much if once more
lemme just trust in good faith
till I'm convinced its a mistake
never to repeat again
No second chance is mine to take
its just first act of kindness I can give
treat it with respect and be my friend
else as evident it wont hurt too much
Ofcourse its ok to trust the first time
to extend good faith as the beginning
why create boundaries at first glance
why doubt unknown by ghosts of past
future is never an exact replica
check out what u are to put up with
u wont regret on what could have been the case
if not started wrong
so lemme just entrust my goodwill
lemme be kind one more time
its definitely not gonna pain much in long run.............

Up............

Well ofcourse here I am talking of the movie "UP". Pixar movies are all just awesum, most amazing story line, assisted by wonderful animation work.When u talk of adventure to far distant lands and cherish it as the goal of life to reach there, its that place and the adventure trip is what defines life. We all will believe that and ofcourse almost none will ever undertake the journey to far distant lands.....Yet here Mr Fredrickson and his wife want to go to "Paradise fall" in South America.....and build a house there on the rocky mountains.They save money to go there but have to use it for various other purposes . Then the wife Elle dies and Mr. Fredrickson realises his solemn promise by crossing his heart to go to the paradise falls and build the house for Elle. So finally he undertakes the journey -coincidentally having a naughty kid with him and they go through all the hurdles and accomplish the task. Saving the mysterious giant bird, Making many new friends, they come back to the real world......The journey through this movie seemed so much exciting and uplifting as if u have got your own Paradise fall and have built ur own house there.......Loved the movie!!