Well today she caught herself wandering over places -unaware,unwanton at times when it was most important to be present minded .. feeling awkward cause there was no reason for the same.She so much loved to just waste her time the she wanted, yet there was a compelling element within her -Craving Perfection, craving Attention n craving for things which need a devotion of life.....No where sure where her actual interest lies..she just went along both - not completely true to either wishes - yet wasting time n doing just OK ..here n there but that was that .Today she felt it was a shame to be that way..what was more shameful she entertained those thoughts in mid - lecture - best lecture of the week n very important topic .No restrain , pay attention .n What was that fear n doubts u fill urself with - as if no better way to both pretend worrying yet waste time ...oh common pay attention - what are u upto . U should have not left a PAF because of stupid fears - oh common pay attention .....n the string continued .......What was that ? Today she dint realise it was her own insight turning to her - to clarify , to prioritise n if not - to come to terms with n be exactly what she wanted .......yet it was a long way before she was the model of her own wishes .......ofcourse ever evolving wishes ..Then she was fully aware what it was to the queen bee - what is the joy factor , what is the essence of struggle - whats the notions n whims of doubts n fears n pain --- all the self created mockery n shortcomings n failings n little joys , profound abundance n little success n motivations.....Then she loved to be the way she was , the lane she took - laughed at the confused impatient stupid being she had been , but no she is not aware its a process of evolution -which doesn't waits for lecture to end ..its the delta second when life upturns - its one of the moments which lead to glory -- yet there she was struggling with the notion , blaming herself to be a complete freak --- ashamed of being such a stupid gal .....n resisting the thoughts , resisting herself .. doubting everything n amidst nowhere ..............She was the person -she dint knew - maybe cause it was filled with infinite abundance -which needed acceptance to live with ...
U say Virtual Reality is the rosy picture of the future !! yet here Riya was living for almost forever ..as if her world was not conjoined with any other - she was in a world running parallel- her ideas , her definitions , her terms were no where relevant in any other world ..yet this mis-match never seemed dubious to her, for she was content in the world she was in .....Virtual - ever changing n Nonexistent for other ??
Feynman or Dr ShreeDharan or Sam Pitroda - anyone n everyone was just great enough to make her leave her work n use it to read about them -think of them n be amazed -what great man earth has .......
She longed to build great bridges, n Aircrafts n Ships n machines ....yet she wished to travel n dance n sing n do Drama, oh it was endless - her wishes n joy , her ways of justification n her long hours of nothingness. Though you are supposed to be master of one field -she aspired to be off all n ended up not even being a Jack n that was what worried her, for she just knew how to pass time perfectly - chatting , n talking n idylling around.yet to be of relevance to herself n self satisfied she needed to fulfill so many wishes which will require n serious dedication she was clueless she was even capable of. So in all it was a tough call - to decide n act accordingly***
She wondered how much Care n love people have, how very beautiful n awesome, grand n God like - she wondered where would she fit in ?? she felt misfit - yet longed to be embraced in what it meant to be like the perfect being - the joy of all eyes - the healer of all pains - the confident , inspiring being -- that she would so much look upto herself -- but how n when ?? n especially when she was such a wandering being.....a loner in some sense -- yet earthly ..where would her destiny be ....?? definitely not the sky - though her passion to fly was incomparable - not deep down under the sea -- cause earth is where her home is ...earth is where she shall be..........in some woodlands n forests -- rosy gardens n Trees - with rain n flowers n butterflies -- rivers n streams n greenery ....there;s where she has always been, theres where she shall be ..in the homeland, with the mother - in her care -- n the be the loved child -- be pampered with care n affection !!
U say Virtual Reality is the rosy picture of the future !! yet here Riya was living for almost forever ..as if her world was not conjoined with any other - she was in a world running parallel- her ideas , her definitions , her terms were no where relevant in any other world ..yet this mis-match never seemed dubious to her, for she was content in the world she was in .....Virtual - ever changing n Nonexistent for other ??
Feynman or Dr ShreeDharan or Sam Pitroda - anyone n everyone was just great enough to make her leave her work n use it to read about them -think of them n be amazed -what great man earth has .......
She longed to build great bridges, n Aircrafts n Ships n machines ....yet she wished to travel n dance n sing n do Drama, oh it was endless - her wishes n joy , her ways of justification n her long hours of nothingness. Though you are supposed to be master of one field -she aspired to be off all n ended up not even being a Jack n that was what worried her, for she just knew how to pass time perfectly - chatting , n talking n idylling around.yet to be of relevance to herself n self satisfied she needed to fulfill so many wishes which will require n serious dedication she was clueless she was even capable of. So in all it was a tough call - to decide n act accordingly***
She wondered how much Care n love people have, how very beautiful n awesome, grand n God like - she wondered where would she fit in ?? she felt misfit - yet longed to be embraced in what it meant to be like the perfect being - the joy of all eyes - the healer of all pains - the confident , inspiring being -- that she would so much look upto herself -- but how n when ?? n especially when she was such a wandering being.....a loner in some sense -- yet earthly ..where would her destiny be ....?? definitely not the sky - though her passion to fly was incomparable - not deep down under the sea -- cause earth is where her home is ...earth is where she shall be..........in some woodlands n forests -- rosy gardens n Trees - with rain n flowers n butterflies -- rivers n streams n greenery ....there;s where she has always been, theres where she shall be ..in the homeland, with the mother - in her care -- n the be the loved child -- be pampered with care n affection !!
