Monday, April 29, 2013
hedonistic
words choke down my throat
some emotions become overpowering
but lenting words to them
seems total waste
as no-one will understand
agony of wailing heart
all want to have a hearty laugh
just plain laugh, at any cost
rest seems all too lame
noone wants to sort out the emotions
noone wants a deep portrayal
noone wants even remote analysis
its world of superficiality
age of coffee and fake confidence
where you just laugh
at any random thing
you don’t mean anything you say
you just wanna be gay
what a hedonistic society
no philosophy as it bores
no poetry as its cliche
no love, no emotions
they are too overt things
just too complex to indulge in
lemme be a merry being
living on the surface
don’t scratch even a layer
its all unattended mess
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
musings..
All my musings is me caught in other's shoes, trying to fit in and see where it hurts the most. How will I manage to walk with all the obstacle on the way. How and why I make the choices I would make, will I make the same choices again or will I be any different or the same. What will go behind the scene's in my mind, what will be the real self behind the image in real.
Is the beggar on street, roaming unaware, here and there, is that in real self? Is that haughty tough girl, in the top notch position, really that tough? Is she the bitch she is made out to be, what n why's of each of her decisions, her struggle's, her turmoil, her coming in terms with life and yet a consistent struggle. That girl bearing the unworkable marriage for society's sake, is really a coward with nowhere to go or she is redefining love, in her own unique way, offering her as sacrifice if yes than how does it feels to take the derision and mistrust and beatings from the being you have dedicated yourself for. Why that girl with extreme humanity is caught up with a beast or what about that man, is he really an incarnation of beast? What goes in his mind each time he abuses his wife, what's behind when he cheats and laments.
What is it with life that makes it so very different, unpredictable and incomprehensible. Everyone lives a tale, the depth of which is unapparent and never be fully fathomed. I try to go behind each such life, his thoughts and each such mind and get to the how's n why's of that life. Measure each fear, shed every tear and bear every burden which comes with the choices of that person and then writing it I feel above the measures of society, above any criticism and paths than it seems its the best that could ever be. It is simply unexplainable that makes me write. Its in a way is to come to terms with this life .
Is the beggar on street, roaming unaware, here and there, is that in real self? Is that haughty tough girl, in the top notch position, really that tough? Is she the bitch she is made out to be, what n why's of each of her decisions, her struggle's, her turmoil, her coming in terms with life and yet a consistent struggle. That girl bearing the unworkable marriage for society's sake, is really a coward with nowhere to go or she is redefining love, in her own unique way, offering her as sacrifice if yes than how does it feels to take the derision and mistrust and beatings from the being you have dedicated yourself for. Why that girl with extreme humanity is caught up with a beast or what about that man, is he really an incarnation of beast? What goes in his mind each time he abuses his wife, what's behind when he cheats and laments.
What is it with life that makes it so very different, unpredictable and incomprehensible. Everyone lives a tale, the depth of which is unapparent and never be fully fathomed. I try to go behind each such life, his thoughts and each such mind and get to the how's n why's of that life. Measure each fear, shed every tear and bear every burden which comes with the choices of that person and then writing it I feel above the measures of society, above any criticism and paths than it seems its the best that could ever be. It is simply unexplainable that makes me write. Its in a way is to come to terms with this life .
Saturday, April 20, 2013
path of separation - (for u girl's who can never be sure..!!)
today again i thought of u
that why you had to go,
why it was like it was
why it couldn’t be more pro,
why was i not myself
why i let u go
was it destined to end
just with a stroke,
as if nothing could be done,
nothing could be said,
nothing could be heard,
it was the ultimate end,
it was doomed and religiously met,
but then i had forgotten your memories
successfully after all the efforts,
just when i was rejoicing my win
of having done away with it
it came as a logical question
weren’t we were meant to be together
wasn’t you the one ..
then why with a stroke you went
why couldn’t you have told
what you saw n felt
way before
why you waited till i realized
why then you ended it all
just when i regained my senses
anyways now you are absolutely gone
almost a reconciled past
yet i wonder why it was the way it was
maybe it was for the best
maybe not,
who knows
yet i will think of it time n again
n wonder if it was always written like that
or we formulated the path
the path of separation
as the end
that why you had to go,
why it was like it was
why it couldn’t be more pro,
why was i not myself
why i let u go
was it destined to end
just with a stroke,
as if nothing could be done,
nothing could be said,
nothing could be heard,
it was the ultimate end,
it was doomed and religiously met,
but then i had forgotten your memories
successfully after all the efforts,
just when i was rejoicing my win
of having done away with it
it came as a logical question
weren’t we were meant to be together
wasn’t you the one ..
then why with a stroke you went
why couldn’t you have told
what you saw n felt
way before
why you waited till i realized
why then you ended it all
just when i regained my senses
anyways now you are absolutely gone
almost a reconciled past
yet i wonder why it was the way it was
maybe it was for the best
maybe not,
who knows
yet i will think of it time n again
n wonder if it was always written like that
or we formulated the path
the path of separation
as the end
Thursday, February 14, 2013
My "Read" n Fav. Novel List....
Well today I realized I have not enlisted the Novels I have read and loved/liked/hated anywhere..So today's post is about it.. Lemme recollect whatever I can and update it, in coming days...
NOVELS
----------------
NOVELS
----------------
- Atlas Shrugged
- The Fountainhead
- Harry Potter Series (esp. 7th - its just awesome!!)
- Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
- Da Vinci Code
- Deception Point
- The Glass Palace - Amitav Ghosh
- Hungary Tide
- Lost Symbol
- Digital Fortress
- Damsel in Distress - PG Wodehouse
- Ladies Coup
- Built to Last
- Toyota Way
- The Immortals of Mehula - Amish
- The Secret of Naga's - Amish
- Jaya, illustrated retelling of Mahabharata - Devdutt Pattanaik
- Midnight Children ( Couldn't appreciate it much, considering its booker of booker!!)
- Twilight Series
- PS I love you
- Godfather
- The Enchantress of Florence
- Shidney Sheldons .
- Anything for you Mam
- Sherlock Holmes
- Premchand - Rangbhumi, Nirmala
- Tuesdays with Moorie
- Diary of a Young Girl
- Right Ho, Jeeves
- Far from the madding Crowd
- Kite Runner
- Who moved my Cheese
- The Alchemist
- The Witch of Portobello
- Eleven Minutes
- The Zahir
- Now that you are rich, lets fall in love
- The Pilgrimage
- Surely You are Joking, Mr Feyman
- What Do you Care, What other people Think
- A Woman of Substance ( all 3 in series)
- Who will cry when You Die
- Nancy Drew's
- Hardy Boys
- How Opal Mehta, got kissed, got wild, got life
- The Rainmaker
- Jane Eyer
- Macbeth, Hamlet
- The Hungry Tide
- Men are from mars, Women from venus
- A Thousand splendid Suns
- Othelo, King Lear
- Tempest
- Tale of two cities
- Animal Farm
- Merchant of Venice
- Twelfth Night
- As you like it
- Sea of Poppies - Amitav Ghosh
- Interpreter of Maladies - Jhumpa Lahiri
- Only Time will tell - Jeferry Archer
- The Hound of the Baskervilles
- The World is Flat
- 7 Habits of highly effective people
- A PJ Abdul Kalam books - all ( wings of fire, Ignited minds, Vision 2020, Indomitable spirit etc)
- Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish
- Connect the Dots
- Shantaram
- The white tiger
- Only time will tell
- Idly, Orchid and Will Power
Monday, January 28, 2013
Isn't it easy..
how simple is it, to make fun of any and everything. To ignore it as a small talk and let it go. While most often its that small thing which we ignore, that happens to be the key to all our fussed up self. Well its not exactly what I am gonna prove, (on second thoughts - can it be proved ? some other time I'll try ), but this is the broader view I stumbled on by today's one such line, which was otherwise ignored by most as just an aberration in the high tech theory.
Well so it started as a discussion in a course by Prof. Narayanan, teaching matroid and he said "I considered matroid to be very difficult subject", while emphasizing the fact that matroid is just different, its not tough intrinsically. Well he was telling about how, when he told few Japanese people that he learnt matroid on his own, they were surprised that it is so tough, how can you read it on your own!!.
When the fact is Japanese and Chinese people have a very strong base in matroid, he told and they write all those big big expressions which we otherwise find difficult to understand (Indians maybe he meant) . Anyways I was wondering of the contrast of approach of Indians, Japanese and Chinese --picturing it vividly the entire discussion and expressions when suddenly he seemed to be gripped by some idea.
So he faced us and said " Ok tell me, what do you mean - when you say something is difficult? "
Well someone said " its complicated or something on the lines". He said no its not what I am looking for. I want to know what is it that you identify as difficult ? Well again someone said " its basically that you are not aware of the treatment" that's all. If you get well versed with the facts and details , would it be difficult still, was the next question? Well all seemed to agree, that it won't be difficult if we are familiar with the concepts behind the work. He further elaborated that we all have made a world for ourselves, consisting of things we know and we look at anything from that world and if unfamiliar we say its tough. While its actually not, what's required is to just go on read all literature and then see from an upper perspective what is the easiest and relevant way out. This is how any research topic should be selected and approached he said.
Then there are things which are so much vast that how to make a sense out of it, is a baffling issue. He said if something is vast, one way is to just make a nice poem or song of all its concept, as we have huge capacity to learn the songs and poems - even in childhood we remembered big big poems, this way you will have memorized everything and would have better say in the subject area. Like he said its pretty easy to learn 32 no. of places of pi (mathematical constant) by a song.
http://www.stevetoner.com/ph/TonerS/mathpi.html based on American Pie song ...
A little googling gave this Poem as well
Now I will a rhyme construct,
By letter count, the young instruct.
Cunningly devised endeavors,
Con it and remember ever.
Widths in circle here you see,
Sketched out in strange obscurity.
Word-length gives a place of decimal eg first line is made of words of length 3 1 4 1 5 9 so it makes it - 3.14159, second line is 2 6 5 3 5 and so on gives the 32 places as
3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83 279
Now this is something worth checking out.. isn't it!!! Apparently a trivial idea but not if it makes you remember 32 places of Pi .... Definitely it deserves more attention and trials ..
Well so it started as a discussion in a course by Prof. Narayanan, teaching matroid and he said "I considered matroid to be very difficult subject", while emphasizing the fact that matroid is just different, its not tough intrinsically. Well he was telling about how, when he told few Japanese people that he learnt matroid on his own, they were surprised that it is so tough, how can you read it on your own!!.
When the fact is Japanese and Chinese people have a very strong base in matroid, he told and they write all those big big expressions which we otherwise find difficult to understand (Indians maybe he meant) . Anyways I was wondering of the contrast of approach of Indians, Japanese and Chinese --picturing it vividly the entire discussion and expressions when suddenly he seemed to be gripped by some idea.
So he faced us and said " Ok tell me, what do you mean - when you say something is difficult? "
Well someone said " its complicated or something on the lines". He said no its not what I am looking for. I want to know what is it that you identify as difficult ? Well again someone said " its basically that you are not aware of the treatment" that's all. If you get well versed with the facts and details , would it be difficult still, was the next question? Well all seemed to agree, that it won't be difficult if we are familiar with the concepts behind the work. He further elaborated that we all have made a world for ourselves, consisting of things we know and we look at anything from that world and if unfamiliar we say its tough. While its actually not, what's required is to just go on read all literature and then see from an upper perspective what is the easiest and relevant way out. This is how any research topic should be selected and approached he said.
Then there are things which are so much vast that how to make a sense out of it, is a baffling issue. He said if something is vast, one way is to just make a nice poem or song of all its concept, as we have huge capacity to learn the songs and poems - even in childhood we remembered big big poems, this way you will have memorized everything and would have better say in the subject area. Like he said its pretty easy to learn 32 no. of places of pi (mathematical constant) by a song.
http://www.stevetoner.com/ph/TonerS/mathpi.html based on American Pie song ...
A little googling gave this Poem as well
Now I will a rhyme construct,
By letter count, the young instruct.
Cunningly devised endeavors,
Con it and remember ever.
Widths in circle here you see,
Sketched out in strange obscurity.
Word-length gives a place of decimal eg first line is made of words of length 3 1 4 1 5 9 so it makes it - 3.14159, second line is 2 6 5 3 5 and so on gives the 32 places as
3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83 279
Now this is something worth checking out.. isn't it!!! Apparently a trivial idea but not if it makes you remember 32 places of Pi .... Definitely it deserves more attention and trials ..
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Republic Day..
sometimes as a child, i used to wonder why Gandhi left the day we got
freedom and others were celebrating so called milestone day in the
history of our country. I wondered what it feels to push for a cause all
your life, only to run away when time of achievement comes. I think I
understand that why now.. Well if it was not the exact reason, it will
be one of the major one definitely. So today is the republic day of
India, 26th Jan, and I am in no mood of celebration. Reason we haven’t
given many chances to freedom yet here. While corruption has created a
big hole in the nation, rising population and age old political dices of
religion and caste is still played unabashedly in national politics.
Its been 66 years since Independence, yet our election manifestos can
still have only 3 trite promises- roti, kapda and makaan…n no one would
blink an eyelid, as it is the burning problem still.
Are we the hard working country, filled with problem solvers? No, hard working is not a trait we have, we are easy going people. We shirk work till the very last moment, don’t we; cheating is not that bad for most of us. Infact many feel proud enumerating the cases of extreme cheating, they could evade. Position of women in society is horrible, just an outer nicer coat of opportunity and beneath it layers and layers of gender bias and discrimination and n kinds of abuse and zilion types of crimes. Its not good to be girl in this country, ofcourse we boast of women with hi-fi jobs etc etc. how many of them could not be at that level because of treatment meted out to them, is again not even a question. Forget about freedom, many children don’t even go to schools and college education is just for elite. Our media has other agenda and propaganda to take care of, shape public opinions of which dynastic rule we are most suited for. And who is more faithful to the rightful heirs of the country, which depends on the tears shed in the goodwill of the baba and the salami’s given to the families of the country.
Oh no no — its not common man’s job, its for those representatives they select every 5 years to run country for their well being. But country or no country — their role is just to appease those whose name’s matter( matter to whom, I wonder? To us for casting vote?, Do we have doubt that maybe genes of Gandhi are somehow in the blood of them and they can save the country like their ancestors? Oh sorry, they are not even descendents..then what are they and what do they stand for? I donno — Maybe some legacy – which is worthy of being proud of? Not that I can recall..but history taught to us, is also distorted, so who knows – were Nehru, Indira, Rajiv — the mightiest leaders of the country which can be traced back to their name’s? Probably that’s what everyone is counting on..and then they say this is the golden era of logics.. we celebrate intellectualism and inspiring leadership.. I wonder what do they think these words mean!!!) ..Its disgusting to see our so called “elected leaders” – indulge in such frivolous and idiotic acts…and our media as puppets in their hands, not even tries to refrain from making these outrageous acts public and hence make it a folklore of how our tryst with republic is being dashed to dearth.
Well maybe I am behaving like a moron, if there ever was a person who believed “I can change the world” he was instrumental in making the change sought. Maybe its never late to mend and recreate, maybe hope and efforts go a long way with the apt wish and dream. That reminds me of India 2020. Whats happening to it? Only years are added to the calender as of now.. n ofcourse the big scams with it.. Long way to go India..Republic Day celebration seems like a burden, even as a symbolism of celebration of what once all our ancestors stood for and sacrificed everything for its sake, it reminds of the huge dishonor we have done to those to had faith in us, who left a message “hum laye hain tufaan se kashti sambhaal se, is desh ko rakhna, mere bachhon sambhal ke…”
n we are helpless to help it, or are we? I donno. Maybe we are just lazy. Maybe we want others to do the corrections for us, while we sit and shed tears of helplessness or maybe raise hue and cry which again is useless. Where to begin the change? At your own level? By voting for the right and backing the right candidate. By demanding civic conditions in the place we live? By lending a helping hand in building the country, by doing our tid-bit in every instance and waking moment…Maybe ..
Are we the hard working country, filled with problem solvers? No, hard working is not a trait we have, we are easy going people. We shirk work till the very last moment, don’t we; cheating is not that bad for most of us. Infact many feel proud enumerating the cases of extreme cheating, they could evade. Position of women in society is horrible, just an outer nicer coat of opportunity and beneath it layers and layers of gender bias and discrimination and n kinds of abuse and zilion types of crimes. Its not good to be girl in this country, ofcourse we boast of women with hi-fi jobs etc etc. how many of them could not be at that level because of treatment meted out to them, is again not even a question. Forget about freedom, many children don’t even go to schools and college education is just for elite. Our media has other agenda and propaganda to take care of, shape public opinions of which dynastic rule we are most suited for. And who is more faithful to the rightful heirs of the country, which depends on the tears shed in the goodwill of the baba and the salami’s given to the families of the country.
Oh no no — its not common man’s job, its for those representatives they select every 5 years to run country for their well being. But country or no country — their role is just to appease those whose name’s matter( matter to whom, I wonder? To us for casting vote?, Do we have doubt that maybe genes of Gandhi are somehow in the blood of them and they can save the country like their ancestors? Oh sorry, they are not even descendents..then what are they and what do they stand for? I donno — Maybe some legacy – which is worthy of being proud of? Not that I can recall..but history taught to us, is also distorted, so who knows – were Nehru, Indira, Rajiv — the mightiest leaders of the country which can be traced back to their name’s? Probably that’s what everyone is counting on..and then they say this is the golden era of logics.. we celebrate intellectualism and inspiring leadership.. I wonder what do they think these words mean!!!) ..Its disgusting to see our so called “elected leaders” – indulge in such frivolous and idiotic acts…and our media as puppets in their hands, not even tries to refrain from making these outrageous acts public and hence make it a folklore of how our tryst with republic is being dashed to dearth.
Well maybe I am behaving like a moron, if there ever was a person who believed “I can change the world” he was instrumental in making the change sought. Maybe its never late to mend and recreate, maybe hope and efforts go a long way with the apt wish and dream. That reminds me of India 2020. Whats happening to it? Only years are added to the calender as of now.. n ofcourse the big scams with it.. Long way to go India..Republic Day celebration seems like a burden, even as a symbolism of celebration of what once all our ancestors stood for and sacrificed everything for its sake, it reminds of the huge dishonor we have done to those to had faith in us, who left a message “hum laye hain tufaan se kashti sambhaal se, is desh ko rakhna, mere bachhon sambhal ke…”
n we are helpless to help it, or are we? I donno. Maybe we are just lazy. Maybe we want others to do the corrections for us, while we sit and shed tears of helplessness or maybe raise hue and cry which again is useless. Where to begin the change? At your own level? By voting for the right and backing the right candidate. By demanding civic conditions in the place we live? By lending a helping hand in building the country, by doing our tid-bit in every instance and waking moment…Maybe ..
Sunday, January 20, 2013
What is it exactly?? Can anyone know for sure..
y do i do that?? is this question - haunts u every time, u feel, now its different?
Today in a nice, but out of the blue, discussion of believe - be it atheist or nature believer or on a holy being, very nice perspectives turned up. Question was whether u believe in some supreme power or something and how to look at world from that frame of believe. For one- an element of divinity - be of gods or of nature introduces an all together different dimension and place which is otherwise very difficult to explain. While those who consider in evolution, as in human action and reaction and a continuous impact of the collective driving the world to whatever course, well this philo definitely has many unexplained things to worry about. While I know as the physics progress's we get to know more and more about the nature of each matter.
But at the end of the day, we are still very far from explaining and understanding whole lot going on, on earth. For one, I don't want to explain...maybe because it won't be as fanciful and beautiful as i associate it to be. And two- its so big and messed up to find a pattern and deduce logics..that i don't even wanna try..
But whenever i wonder of why how and who -- this supreme power, seems to be guiding me through an inner voice, through an ever strong presence and notion that its just a existence to live the voice's call..I call it existence at 2 planes..physical and spiritual -- am sure it must be in many religious texts..but its something i did not learnt from a text book and choose to follow..but its something i grew to believe in..in the process of my life and undergoing each and every fall and rise and many others inexplicable mood swings and span of pain or depressions..when how of the world and why of the world seemed to be your own burden...
Well still I dictate what transpires in my life..do seems like a nice faith, to believe in..walk everyday
with the notion your acts are somehow bringing all the good and bad in this world.though deriving it is almost impossible yet anything is possible, doable -- if only we all, as collective believe in it and go for it..Yet walking down the road, with the head held high..it never brought a complete faith in anything, in me, whatever that me be, the body, its acts or the soul...or the group ..as a whole..
But the creation is the work of one supreme creator and the work of creation is not random, at the whim of the moment but evolutionary - as n when he wishes he inserts a new trait and breed and improvises and mixes ...Though he is not sitting with each string in his hands, pulling it whenever he wishes and not all is predecided and set. But he does intervenes at times, guiding the course and leading and attaining an equilibrium from all the different sources. When things go out of hands, drastic steps too are not far fetched.
So one day if a mafia decides to dictate terms and make all walk their way..for a evolutionary being, it would lead a chaos in world.. but to those with a play of divinity -" the hope would survive, any upheaval, to guide and rise in the time of need..
What is created, needs to be destroyed as well..hence the chains of birth and death. Without one, other can't exit and go on nonstop...it has to come together. Yet it seems cruelty sometimes, misfortunes or nature's wrath. Whatever it is..its not collective human conscience thinking of putting a collective end for sure..
Then what is the nature of this world? Is it this complex? Difficult? No if only u can belive in there's other perspectives I don't know, other reference and plane, where notion of good and bad -- is way different and broader..that you can't understand it in your framework..maybe its a catalogue of how each is gonna spent its life on earth, but in the end its just an event beyond human intellect... atleast as of now..beyond any studies domain as well..u can praise it, sing u, glorify but can't deny or ignore it...
Today in a nice, but out of the blue, discussion of believe - be it atheist or nature believer or on a holy being, very nice perspectives turned up. Question was whether u believe in some supreme power or something and how to look at world from that frame of believe. For one- an element of divinity - be of gods or of nature introduces an all together different dimension and place which is otherwise very difficult to explain. While those who consider in evolution, as in human action and reaction and a continuous impact of the collective driving the world to whatever course, well this philo definitely has many unexplained things to worry about. While I know as the physics progress's we get to know more and more about the nature of each matter.
But at the end of the day, we are still very far from explaining and understanding whole lot going on, on earth. For one, I don't want to explain...maybe because it won't be as fanciful and beautiful as i associate it to be. And two- its so big and messed up to find a pattern and deduce logics..that i don't even wanna try..
But whenever i wonder of why how and who -- this supreme power, seems to be guiding me through an inner voice, through an ever strong presence and notion that its just a existence to live the voice's call..I call it existence at 2 planes..physical and spiritual -- am sure it must be in many religious texts..but its something i did not learnt from a text book and choose to follow..but its something i grew to believe in..in the process of my life and undergoing each and every fall and rise and many others inexplicable mood swings and span of pain or depressions..when how of the world and why of the world seemed to be your own burden...
Well still I dictate what transpires in my life..do seems like a nice faith, to believe in..walk everyday
with the notion your acts are somehow bringing all the good and bad in this world.though deriving it is almost impossible yet anything is possible, doable -- if only we all, as collective believe in it and go for it..Yet walking down the road, with the head held high..it never brought a complete faith in anything, in me, whatever that me be, the body, its acts or the soul...or the group ..as a whole..
But the creation is the work of one supreme creator and the work of creation is not random, at the whim of the moment but evolutionary - as n when he wishes he inserts a new trait and breed and improvises and mixes ...Though he is not sitting with each string in his hands, pulling it whenever he wishes and not all is predecided and set. But he does intervenes at times, guiding the course and leading and attaining an equilibrium from all the different sources. When things go out of hands, drastic steps too are not far fetched.
So one day if a mafia decides to dictate terms and make all walk their way..for a evolutionary being, it would lead a chaos in world.. but to those with a play of divinity -" the hope would survive, any upheaval, to guide and rise in the time of need..
What is created, needs to be destroyed as well..hence the chains of birth and death. Without one, other can't exit and go on nonstop...it has to come together. Yet it seems cruelty sometimes, misfortunes or nature's wrath. Whatever it is..its not collective human conscience thinking of putting a collective end for sure..
Then what is the nature of this world? Is it this complex? Difficult? No if only u can belive in there's other perspectives I don't know, other reference and plane, where notion of good and bad -- is way different and broader..that you can't understand it in your framework..maybe its a catalogue of how each is gonna spent its life on earth, but in the end its just an event beyond human intellect... atleast as of now..beyond any studies domain as well..u can praise it, sing u, glorify but can't deny or ignore it...
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Change is the rule, like the Brooke...
No words can describe me
For I'll change
Not like a chameleon
But as a Brooke
Unbound in its Spirit
frequently changing its course
Just for the sake of change
disperse energy and exuberance
you can't confine me in few phrase
for they will change, so will I
what I do or don't, can't be true
for its always increasing in its scope
what you see, is not the entirety
for there's layers beneath
what is tuned is the result
of endless cacophonous instances
yet when I reflect in myself
I'll know the process I went through
when I will stand and take the honor
I will know the glory of the route
for result will change as per my perception
but what I seek is the method
effort put in and courage I could muster
to bring the beauty of my fancy in real..........
I love the dreams more than anything in this world
for they have ambitions - not dark , nor naked
but of charm and beauty , of faith and positivity
I love them forever and live in them
I understand their language
they lend the meaning to life
that's missing otherwise
dream and do the best,
let rest all take its course
while dreams incorporate the corrections
For I'll change
Not like a chameleon
But as a Brooke
Unbound in its Spirit
frequently changing its course
Just for the sake of change
disperse energy and exuberance
you can't confine me in few phrase
for they will change, so will I
what I do or don't, can't be true
for its always increasing in its scope
what you see, is not the entirety
for there's layers beneath
what is tuned is the result
of endless cacophonous instances
yet when I reflect in myself
I'll know the process I went through
when I will stand and take the honor
I will know the glory of the route
for result will change as per my perception
but what I seek is the method
effort put in and courage I could muster
to bring the beauty of my fancy in real..........
I love the dreams more than anything in this world
for they have ambitions - not dark , nor naked
but of charm and beauty , of faith and positivity
I love them forever and live in them
I understand their language
they lend the meaning to life
that's missing otherwise
dream and do the best,
let rest all take its course
while dreams incorporate the corrections
Friday, December 28, 2012
Gender Bias ??
Well living with this free mentality from so long and treated as equal till now by my family and friends, its now that I know it was my good luck. To have got such a good family culture. For I have seen so many families with girls treated as well what shall I say? Lesser.
In my childhood I was very much offended when anyone used to tell that its the boy of the family who is of any assistance to the family and can bring name, fame and honor, when he grows up. Girls are meant to go to other homes, they are 'paraya dhan' or something. I hated this word. Well I decided from long, I would learn much, will earn much, would create difference and make my parents proud and would be capable of helping them in old age and would prove everyone that their perception is wrong. Girl's are equally competent and of help to their parents. But then I saw its not one case, its the plague of our entire societal thread.
Forget about the vast majority of women who are not given opportunity of education and earning livelihood, who are repeatedly a victim of domestic violence, who have only their bearing capacity to drive them through the life of dependent assaulted neglected being. Its impossible to mention the plight of women in India- across all the strata- only the form differs but its very much existent and prevalent. They are secondary by the Patriarchical society, an entity whose voice doesn't matters, whose duty is to do everything and keep their mouth shut. We have heard of cases where tribal or rural women are gang raped by the decision body as an act of vindication. They are horrible facets. But not even middle and upper classes are free from this bias. Daily sexual abuses on the roads and offices is a norm than an exception. But these cases only bring shame to the girl's family, hence never reported. Even if it is, justice will take centuries to come. So nobody bothers to waste their time but bear and try to forget and protect them from the world.
I don't say situation is not better than before. Ofcourse it is that's why I can write this without worrying about the reaction. The education for girls has definitely improved. They are working more than before and almost all kinds of role you find a few girls. They have managed to have their presence felt and at times even appreciated by one and all in clear terms, despite all the hinderances. That's the reason we can breathe, hear, and feel free and be hopeful. But its the end of it. All the girls learn the tips to carry through in the society without being noticed or being targeted to well let's say evil things. The tips don't ensure your safety and well-being but they definitely help and are bare minimum requirement to follow before you step out. Its not written as guidelines but from mother to daughter or from friends and common understanding its passed and followed and propagated. All working girls carry sole responsibility of managing day to day chores. Even while working equally hard at jobs. They have to bear with the opinions of so many who feel "house should not be neglected" even though you leave your career mid-way. Sometimes I think two working hands earn more, that's the major motivation that they are allowed to work in most of the home's. Still before stepping out of home, you need to ensure you are with some big group or male to be protected from so called eve-teasing. The form of which is beyond teasing ofcourse. You have to bear with silly remarks and perceptions thrown at you every now and then. And in the face of it too you need to shun your outspokenness, as in don't go and argue with them, it won't do any good and you might land in trouble, you see.
I wonder how many boys are broad minded enough to lend a helping hand to their wife on daily basis, let her grow in her career, stand for her with his family and society. Help her in house keeping and plan life together, take decisions actually with her opinion as well, won't try to control how she spends money she earns, would be understanding that her family is still hers and she can belong to both without contention and prioritizing , respect her as a equal human and live life as equals. I don't think there are many. So who is to blame? The educated girls, their mothers, the educated boys, his parents or the society? Decide and tell.Its not an individual, its a collective perception. I am sure there would be many exceptions, but rule is Indian society still promotes and lives in a biased environment. Educated girls are just a way of pretending we are so open -minded and have equal opportunities. You see the " statistics of promotions, how many girls are not given equal opportunities of growth in jobs, you see how many girls take jobs too lesser than their competence so that they can full time do their homely duties", how many ultra successful ladies, leave their career midway to look after the kid or if the husband is not comfortable with them working and call it a compromise, worth it", or why? Ofcourse that's their primary role. Rest is just for fanning their whims. There is no such term as individualism for girls, you see. They are to be in some role and portray it as expected (read stereotype) and being done from generations. You would wonder how many people will label me anti-Indian culture ideals, for writing this. To all those claimants I have more essence of Indian culture in me than you would ever care to learn and incorporate. What you carry in the name of culture is the stale part handed down to you with all the inhuman elements crept in its deteriorating phase from generations.
Oh few of the elite of you create hue and cry, if a well educated girl takes to her so called duties of "being in the kitchen" and "taking care of the household", "sacrificing her career as per her husband's changing cities". Well let me tell you the other side of the story, of why girls, the educated girls too give in. Because if they cling on to the things they want to do in life, in their career and hobbies , what they visualize as living life. It is interpreted as "not available for full time home care". The outspokenness won't give them easy ride, in Indian society . Each girl has to learn all the homely girlishness. Learn to think her career can go to hell. An average job is the best shot, no job related ambitions and no dreams of creating difference, should now be entertained. Her wishes should take back burner and she should readily compromise on all fronts. In short leave all your wishes to be labelled "an ideal girl for Indian marriage market". And ofcourse marriage is a full stop of life for most of the educated girls as well. It is not because of cowardice, its because of need to keep all tension free and happy and the faith on our self that maybe we can fit in, if we try real hard. The easiest solution.
I feel really terrible of this custom that the girl side needs to give dowry to the guys, or call them gift's because its our culture. Forget about happiness, wish, need just because Some guy is marrying a girl, her parents need to invest most of their savings in the marriage ceremony. Ofcourse even if she is equally qualified and can earn equal to anyone or even if she is way better than the guy she is marrying. Is she been sold or something, good riddance and its the greatness of guy to keep her for rest of her life, isn't marriage supposed to be two people starting their life together ?Isn't it something which has to do with love, care, respect, equality for them both, with the blessings of all ? Then where in comes this money business. But then how does it matters. All wanna put a blind eye for what it stands. And we all love the celebrations and lavishness associated with weddings, don't we. So lets leave it at that. Then there are n number of stupid covers for this so called "The big fat Indian Wedding" custom.
Though I know I might have painted this worse than what it is. But see its my perception from what I have seen all around, statistically more prevalent, almost a norm .Just like corruption is reality for us today, its everywhere, we go and shout slogans, hold a candle march and next day get the slip of bills required forged and pink slip for attendance made from some doctor friend. And get the tenders and orders and promotions and jobs by money under the table. Likewise Bias towards girls is reality of Indian society, you dig whichever strata and whatever realms its there and in varied forms. Sugar coated, often in gentle words, in the name of respect for girls as devi's or something, but it still stands intact. I am yet to meet a guy who has never told me girls are dumb, as if guys are all very smart, as if dumbness has anything to do with gender. And then their are many who quote Manu with all those "ill- habits" of girls like they are talkative, can't keep a secret, etc etc. as if these are traits specific to girls. I wonder who the hell Manu was and who the hell are his brainless followers. Why don't you do a proper survey and get the facts and then talk. But this shit talk seems so funny to them and they take so much pride of all this information.
Well its basically raw data, with bias of generations in it, its definitely no information as its useless blabber. And they keep pouring it every now and then. Having been with so many boys of my age and always finding myself better than most of them, it really seems to me, to be some kind of talk to please themselves by the incompetent. But lets leave my "feminist self" to myself.
The virtue and vices are found in all humans, atleast nature has no bias.. I have seen guys stupid, talkative, jerks and what not...but then generalization would be absurdity. And all have some great traits as well, you turn a blind eye to good and generalize the few traits of some. Foolish will be foolish no matter which gender you belong to. But I would be really pleased to see a real equality based Indian society. Just that its not just boys, or uncles or Aunties, its girls like us who give in their stands, to follow the line, to please their Parents, who are equally responsible. So any change needs to happen at all ends.
In my childhood I was very much offended when anyone used to tell that its the boy of the family who is of any assistance to the family and can bring name, fame and honor, when he grows up. Girls are meant to go to other homes, they are 'paraya dhan' or something. I hated this word. Well I decided from long, I would learn much, will earn much, would create difference and make my parents proud and would be capable of helping them in old age and would prove everyone that their perception is wrong. Girl's are equally competent and of help to their parents. But then I saw its not one case, its the plague of our entire societal thread.
Forget about the vast majority of women who are not given opportunity of education and earning livelihood, who are repeatedly a victim of domestic violence, who have only their bearing capacity to drive them through the life of dependent assaulted neglected being. Its impossible to mention the plight of women in India- across all the strata- only the form differs but its very much existent and prevalent. They are secondary by the Patriarchical society, an entity whose voice doesn't matters, whose duty is to do everything and keep their mouth shut. We have heard of cases where tribal or rural women are gang raped by the decision body as an act of vindication. They are horrible facets. But not even middle and upper classes are free from this bias. Daily sexual abuses on the roads and offices is a norm than an exception. But these cases only bring shame to the girl's family, hence never reported. Even if it is, justice will take centuries to come. So nobody bothers to waste their time but bear and try to forget and protect them from the world.
I don't say situation is not better than before. Ofcourse it is that's why I can write this without worrying about the reaction. The education for girls has definitely improved. They are working more than before and almost all kinds of role you find a few girls. They have managed to have their presence felt and at times even appreciated by one and all in clear terms, despite all the hinderances. That's the reason we can breathe, hear, and feel free and be hopeful. But its the end of it. All the girls learn the tips to carry through in the society without being noticed or being targeted to well let's say evil things. The tips don't ensure your safety and well-being but they definitely help and are bare minimum requirement to follow before you step out. Its not written as guidelines but from mother to daughter or from friends and common understanding its passed and followed and propagated. All working girls carry sole responsibility of managing day to day chores. Even while working equally hard at jobs. They have to bear with the opinions of so many who feel "house should not be neglected" even though you leave your career mid-way. Sometimes I think two working hands earn more, that's the major motivation that they are allowed to work in most of the home's. Still before stepping out of home, you need to ensure you are with some big group or male to be protected from so called eve-teasing. The form of which is beyond teasing ofcourse. You have to bear with silly remarks and perceptions thrown at you every now and then. And in the face of it too you need to shun your outspokenness, as in don't go and argue with them, it won't do any good and you might land in trouble, you see.
I wonder how many boys are broad minded enough to lend a helping hand to their wife on daily basis, let her grow in her career, stand for her with his family and society. Help her in house keeping and plan life together, take decisions actually with her opinion as well, won't try to control how she spends money she earns, would be understanding that her family is still hers and she can belong to both without contention and prioritizing , respect her as a equal human and live life as equals. I don't think there are many. So who is to blame? The educated girls, their mothers, the educated boys, his parents or the society? Decide and tell.Its not an individual, its a collective perception. I am sure there would be many exceptions, but rule is Indian society still promotes and lives in a biased environment. Educated girls are just a way of pretending we are so open -minded and have equal opportunities. You see the " statistics of promotions, how many girls are not given equal opportunities of growth in jobs, you see how many girls take jobs too lesser than their competence so that they can full time do their homely duties", how many ultra successful ladies, leave their career midway to look after the kid or if the husband is not comfortable with them working and call it a compromise, worth it", or why? Ofcourse that's their primary role. Rest is just for fanning their whims. There is no such term as individualism for girls, you see. They are to be in some role and portray it as expected (read stereotype) and being done from generations. You would wonder how many people will label me anti-Indian culture ideals, for writing this. To all those claimants I have more essence of Indian culture in me than you would ever care to learn and incorporate. What you carry in the name of culture is the stale part handed down to you with all the inhuman elements crept in its deteriorating phase from generations.
Oh few of the elite of you create hue and cry, if a well educated girl takes to her so called duties of "being in the kitchen" and "taking care of the household", "sacrificing her career as per her husband's changing cities". Well let me tell you the other side of the story, of why girls, the educated girls too give in. Because if they cling on to the things they want to do in life, in their career and hobbies , what they visualize as living life. It is interpreted as "not available for full time home care". The outspokenness won't give them easy ride, in Indian society . Each girl has to learn all the homely girlishness. Learn to think her career can go to hell. An average job is the best shot, no job related ambitions and no dreams of creating difference, should now be entertained. Her wishes should take back burner and she should readily compromise on all fronts. In short leave all your wishes to be labelled "an ideal girl for Indian marriage market". And ofcourse marriage is a full stop of life for most of the educated girls as well. It is not because of cowardice, its because of need to keep all tension free and happy and the faith on our self that maybe we can fit in, if we try real hard. The easiest solution.
I feel really terrible of this custom that the girl side needs to give dowry to the guys, or call them gift's because its our culture. Forget about happiness, wish, need just because Some guy is marrying a girl, her parents need to invest most of their savings in the marriage ceremony. Ofcourse even if she is equally qualified and can earn equal to anyone or even if she is way better than the guy she is marrying. Is she been sold or something, good riddance and its the greatness of guy to keep her for rest of her life, isn't marriage supposed to be two people starting their life together ?Isn't it something which has to do with love, care, respect, equality for them both, with the blessings of all ? Then where in comes this money business. But then how does it matters. All wanna put a blind eye for what it stands. And we all love the celebrations and lavishness associated with weddings, don't we. So lets leave it at that. Then there are n number of stupid covers for this so called "The big fat Indian Wedding" custom.
Though I know I might have painted this worse than what it is. But see its my perception from what I have seen all around, statistically more prevalent, almost a norm .Just like corruption is reality for us today, its everywhere, we go and shout slogans, hold a candle march and next day get the slip of bills required forged and pink slip for attendance made from some doctor friend. And get the tenders and orders and promotions and jobs by money under the table. Likewise Bias towards girls is reality of Indian society, you dig whichever strata and whatever realms its there and in varied forms. Sugar coated, often in gentle words, in the name of respect for girls as devi's or something, but it still stands intact. I am yet to meet a guy who has never told me girls are dumb, as if guys are all very smart, as if dumbness has anything to do with gender. And then their are many who quote Manu with all those "ill- habits" of girls like they are talkative, can't keep a secret, etc etc. as if these are traits specific to girls. I wonder who the hell Manu was and who the hell are his brainless followers. Why don't you do a proper survey and get the facts and then talk. But this shit talk seems so funny to them and they take so much pride of all this information.
Well its basically raw data, with bias of generations in it, its definitely no information as its useless blabber. And they keep pouring it every now and then. Having been with so many boys of my age and always finding myself better than most of them, it really seems to me, to be some kind of talk to please themselves by the incompetent. But lets leave my "feminist self" to myself.
The virtue and vices are found in all humans, atleast nature has no bias.. I have seen guys stupid, talkative, jerks and what not...but then generalization would be absurdity. And all have some great traits as well, you turn a blind eye to good and generalize the few traits of some. Foolish will be foolish no matter which gender you belong to. But I would be really pleased to see a real equality based Indian society. Just that its not just boys, or uncles or Aunties, its girls like us who give in their stands, to follow the line, to please their Parents, who are equally responsible. So any change needs to happen at all ends.
Monday, December 24, 2012
beauty for its sake..
whats most rich -- the flowers..
whats most beautiful- the butterflies
which is the best charm-- river across the mountain
where in lies the solace -- in the green wilderness
whats hope - the autumn, whats joy - the spring
then why we run after plastic commodities
why the gadgets and gizmos rule the world
why the chirp of birds is left unheeded/unheard
why there is unrest all over
we are not after beauty and elegance
we are not after peace and solace
than why this war, what for
is it for minerals and land?
is it for capturing the terrain
why on earth u wanna die
to be called a mighty warrior
and leave behind a trace of land
colored with human blood
why u can't think of life in its terms
why u need to build huge castles
to appreciate its worth..
is it most wonderful - living in a cage
or is it amazing walking in green moorland
I can't think of anything but bliss
when it comes to the life
its like most complex yet elegant presence
but see the setup we have built
trapping the souls in discontent, in unrest
running in a race, with no clear end
no purpose, no motivation
than the flimsy achievements n goals
Ah sacred life, what mockery it must be
to have given the greatest gift
and seen it rot, for far lesser things..
you must be pained, to see your creation
so senseless and demonic in its traits
oh creation for your own sake
be content with few who portray thy beauty
for rest of the lot, its a black hole
with no sight in and no way out
a trap perennial to uphold
whats most beautiful- the butterflies
which is the best charm-- river across the mountain
where in lies the solace -- in the green wilderness
whats hope - the autumn, whats joy - the spring
then why we run after plastic commodities
why the gadgets and gizmos rule the world
why the chirp of birds is left unheeded/unheard
why there is unrest all over
we are not after beauty and elegance
we are not after peace and solace
than why this war, what for
is it for minerals and land?
is it for capturing the terrain
why on earth u wanna die
to be called a mighty warrior
and leave behind a trace of land
colored with human blood
why u can't think of life in its terms
why u need to build huge castles
to appreciate its worth..
is it most wonderful - living in a cage
or is it amazing walking in green moorland
I can't think of anything but bliss
when it comes to the life
its like most complex yet elegant presence
but see the setup we have built
trapping the souls in discontent, in unrest
running in a race, with no clear end
no purpose, no motivation
than the flimsy achievements n goals
Ah sacred life, what mockery it must be
to have given the greatest gift
and seen it rot, for far lesser things..
you must be pained, to see your creation
so senseless and demonic in its traits
oh creation for your own sake
be content with few who portray thy beauty
for rest of the lot, its a black hole
with no sight in and no way out
a trap perennial to uphold
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