Never realised.........

Never realised what maturity is , what it means that life goes on. why the threads of life are always embeddded with celebrations and celebrations with songs n food .Never realised that life is not a fullstop ; its not a single book with a fixed storyline and lifetime - it never ends......Never realised -what love means, how strong are the ties of trust and human bondings, what drives our decisions , our choices and our aimbitions .I so much love the life I have been bestowed -protected, cared and loved by my family and friends.Wherever I go -its with a notion, I am safe, loved and wanted.Not alone to face any harsh cruel world out there, there is my Mom-with the best delicious dishes for me-the moment I step in the house. My father with his little fond smile at me-that makes me feel blessed .How much I can thank u my lord.My sisters -the best pals I can cry my heart out on any and everything and my little bro to whom I can act like hitler yet he will listen to me.How much I love my friends teasings and pamperings .Isnt it funny I would ever want to be serious in life?what for? Hey whenever I see a tragedy in books or movies -I cry my heart out, I cant imagine living in that circumstances.
Yet something matures in me, in thoughts and understanding. When it comes to a full life- I do wanna see the beautiful celebrations that people can jot their life with .The fond memories and chit-chats.There's much more to the life and the world than what one can ever love,Yet u come to love so many facets.The question of belongingness, of homeland,of places u lived and grew up.There's no common rule , there's no common standards -its all sos customised -mixed with the signs of lord -n some miraculous notions-that lend the meaning and change and colours to human life.Different countries different cultures , different viewpoint-yet its this instant that's all so beautiful. Maybe I can capture the essence of this moment on reflect on as the experience worth remembering.

U'll never get what u imagine-yet somehow whatever u'll be in-will be just right, filling the missing links and leading to an end only one of a kind.

Princess Sara

n There's this story of a little Princess
Princess in real, princess in deeds , princess indeed
Sara is her name, imagination is her way
and she can create the grandiose by her words
Oh little charming world, of a little angelic Gal
n "every Gal is princess " she says
n it rings a chord , it sounds a bell
just where was ur wishes were kept locked away
oh common u grumpy lady - let it be gone
for Sara is the princess n so we all
in the world that we are meant to be in.............
Stories of Rama , Context of India
cant you trust the fancy and live it more ??
for here is the Princess Sara
n so she says "That Princess is all what we are"..........

Isnt it wonderful

Isn't it a great idea -to follow your heart!!! Do what your heart says, live the life u always imagine it to be.Today watching this movie "Confessions of Shopaholic" -very remote from questions of heart and mind and choices and what we end up doing with our life ofcourse.Yet somehow at 1 am -when I am very much supposed to be sleeping - I cant just let it go -there's this urgent need to write-to settle up something -which escaped options and answers from way too long.Ok how many times in your life u have end up deciding a way too extreme alternative-like ok I wont purchase anything this month or ok I'll read 12 hours a day or I wont talk anymore or wont utter a word n blah blah blah........only too see yourself spending way too more then u usually do, wasting away entire day in tensions or maybe days or blabbing out all which u would never had in your sane self.Well this ain't a distant story of some mad gal - this is what I have been every single day every single time,I took a resolution in protest to something .Thats right -protest in response to something u just cant let go - u cant just feel right - u just cant mold yourself to be like - yet the terms dictate that the roots are the very same - so u opt for extremes - ofcourse within heart of hearts u know - its not u - you are killing something in u - as u take the blunt decisions to do someone a favor , to buy peace of mind , to be acceptable to society n people nearby , to conform to whatever preachings whoever sermons out loud.
Fine u do realize the values of many things very later in life people do mess up them self to the point where there's no turning back .There are mistakes which leave many if's and but's .yet somehow this movie felt like a liberating experience -this years of killing of self to conform- leaves a cluelessness as if a hole - which u cant find , cant pinpoint - there's this constant need of conformance n approval by society -that is a vicious loop. Consequence ? Tend to exaggerate every single event -think of worst n live that imaginary dread -every single day u wake up n every single time u go to bed......n ofcourse 24 hours of the day -for as long as it takes to be obsessed with any other event .Then comes a point when u realise -everything's gonna be alright in the end that no matter how hard u try that all people should genuinely feel on your death pyre that u were a nice person - happy memory's , no hurting .But whatever u do there will be dissatisfied souls out there - turning there wrath on u - an easy target -for whatever freaking reasons n fears they might have or might have faced in their life's . n it really doesn't matter - how many walk besides, as u take your last breath - what matters is- how many life's get better cause u r alive.Of course its not a well laid out mathematical equation - that u follow this route - n woah u have made lives better .Its infact such a vague concept like you are living a dream - maybe when you are trying to be logical n are hence skeptical -u feel u r too nautanki to be real. When u doubt -are u of any good ? When u question you are very existence, when u feel -if only u could get away from the world-without hurting anyone, without burdening anyone , just being you -just somehow living on your own, and leaving no trace behind - maybe that would be the best life ever lived . cause i hate fuss n complications.Yet the very other day - u long for friends , u roll out tears on single delay in your loved one's phone calls on your important day - as if nobody loved u , you are a burden -somehow somewhere .Like no matter what u do - its gonna be huge mess -like its all such a waste ....Then this is not what I call inspiration. To sit smart all knowing n all aware type being - we a,, will always love - but thats very dead -however blunt it may sound . I would trade places with any being - to become a very calm, poised n silent person - but it leaves a big hole n blackness inside - it feels like being stupid .I would have always thought of this when vague instants of insanity beholds me so often -but it always leaves so much thoughts behind- a feeling of being wise n a feeling of life is all over . Then sunrise , sunset , trees and plants - butterflies , boulders n stars - are not just beauty of nature or the mark of perfection of the world of the mighty God -but they represent you in your various moods n instants -when they are your companions in this life - inspiring and ever present .When my little stupid jokes makes even one smile - I feel I am worthy of life . Well so much so I hate this market cost benefit worth analysis - when it comes to life n time - its what I need - call it search for meaning - its always in terms goodness behind .Oh its not what I wanted to write - I don't know what was the whole point - some point I had come to as the ultimate conclusion for now - oh yes -it was if only we knew what we want to do and did it - everything will seem alright - like in the movie . But somebody tell me -what about those
who want to take their own paths? Well we'll do - if only we knew for sure - so this surety thing is what stuck's us all??Maybe - the clarity is still to dawn ...........
till then .....bbies

Time/Memory/Faith Tradeoff.........

Time/Memory tradeoff works in real world, isnt it? U have memory but u dont devout time
ur screwed.Or u give ample time , but memory lacks -oops again ur undone. So is it all to do with time and memory ? Or there's any other factor controlling the two . Faith,confidence,acceptance,belief whatever way u put it, is one single factor which decides much more than the other two combined. You put time , ur very good memory-u dont believe in yourself....boom ..ur memory and time both fail to the effective tools or resource.So if we put it in a expression the contribution of confidence is exponential
if other two are linear. This faith is very basis of human existence.....Cant marvel it more ....anyways will come back to this later...gotta go .....till then ..bbies

Weird Timepass

do people really are bad??
do they take advantage of u
change their stand - the moment ur luck turns
what is friendhsip - help n compassion
what is faith , belief and trust
either u follow it or u dont
or is it again - shades n tones
ahh its a weird question , a weird timepass
n such a wastage, of time n space
there's indeed a wide gap
in what u would like the world to be
and what it actually is
the best moments of life
are when u expect least
n are bestowed love , care and respect
from those u have great feelings in ur heart
whom u like as good people
reliable and whom u can cry ur heart out
yet u doubt -what if its just taking advantage?
can u live trying to run away from every being
to be in a world of ur own
ofcourse away from what u fear world is
a plot by all to take advantage of u
what i have learnt is - its all bull -shit
if u just do what u wanna do -
take no extra pains n efforts n no burden for any question like this
n just be the best u can be
things usually are in control.
But the more selflessness u show
the more it hurts
when ur abhorred
the more u try to care
the more villaneous out u become there
n r projected n suspected to be
just mind ur own business
let those who distrust call u any name
u do ur best- live ur best
donno whats the right way
but live the beauty u want world to be
rest let it be..its all so meaningless
yet there's one who understands the sacred existence
as the world is a mirage of incomprehensible variables.

Rome was not built in a day......

My Dady says "Rome was not built in a day". Somehow that keeps popping in my head whenever I see
a building being made, some gigantic task seemingly going no-where. This simple remark then is the solace n patience to wait for my hands to see each brick culminating into the most beautiful piece of art and architecture ever built.Sometimes it is so refreshing-that the hope n spirit of world keeps circulating - in forms of sayings n literature. SOmewhere someone has already lived through what you are undergoing. SOmeone out there would have created there heavens from the very same bricks thrown at them as u fear u might have to face........wow isnt it amazing that once fear is gone n to do is the only way u can see- how beautiful u feel afterwards that oh is it me..have I done that, its so wonderful............

Hope this feeling lasts n I do lay a few bricks here n there......Amen!!!

Whats this fancy with Brain?

Ok -whats so obsession with brain and its functioning. Somehow somewhere we all are convinced that brain can do lot more than what we are making it to do.That we can use on an average hardly 2-3% n reknowned scientist can employ atmost 5% of its capacity, being gud at maths we all know what 100% would be constituting. So this simple little fact happens to be most fascinating topic -whenever presented, never a matter of cliche, every time we keep on guessing, fascinating on the possibilities ....till we are done with it for a while, to start with another normal day , but why is it that it never occurs to us that it could be bullshit.

why today, tomorrow, a day after -every time there's this acute fascination to what it entails.n if there's a way to slightly n slowly increase it to the levels unseen-what might be the way? well meditation?-too slow, contemplation-well u got to be kidding!! medication?-oops now thats an unknown territory -I am no author of movie Limitless to have complete faith on the notions like this, though that happens to be the trigger behind this babble-yet somehow its like being stuck at a puzzle -unable to solve, unable to leave behind n move on; its like on the verge of declaring life as meaningless n suddenly witnessing God's own form ; ok I cant say for sure -where this debate n fascination will lead to-considering that I am not sure even I am using 3% of my brain - n ofcourse many will debate on its usage on at all too ; yet lets just get over our temptations for a moment n try to see whats that constitutes this abundance of inkling for this particular organ of human body; I know the most glorified n controller n all the blah blah.........well still lemme just see where this fancy turns to me again n maybe then I may have some new insights or reivsed stand on this notion........till then stay in store......au revoir!!! :)

Antitrust

In the series of movies - when it comes "Antitrust", I have a particular liking for this movie,one -for its technological backdrop and two- cause of its happy ending. Ok in this movie it so happens that the two genius geeky nerdy guys of most reputed technological college -like stanford n MIT, working in the garage and believing in the ideas of open source - sure to make a big difference in the world, are working on opening an startup to make a difference .But one of them gets a call from the CEO of the most famous technological company -monopolising every product in the market.Grandoise, personal attention n huge paycheck-all at once. He takes the job breaking the most strongest bonds of friendship in between them. The other guy is murdered for the breakthrough he achieves in the code he is writing.
But the moment the guy realises that the CEO and his people are actually killers hacking into systems of all geeks, collecting all kinds of data of all geeky guys on the verge of some prospective breakthrough in codes, they steal the code and murder the guy.

So despite all odds and all kinds of barriers , he finally manages to put them behind bars, using their own latest connect all devices n transmit any kind of data supportes by giant satellite network to broadcast the video of murders and the truth behind the facades of the company to the world.........
U could feel ur heart skip a beat, every time he had to go into the prohibited areas n how he overcomes all barriers to give the bad guys their due..........

The Smurfs

So watching this movie about mythological blue creatures of ever present n abundant joy,
and ofcourse one wicked wizard in the otherwise most heavenic scene, as in every fable- the wicked tries to destroy all the good to become the most powerful person oops wizard. n the little creatures fight him back n defeat him because of the virtues inherent in them
and team work. I am no management guru proclaiming the benefits of team work but yes here the word is more of cliche. nyways what imparted the movie elegance n joy was the colours, songs and flowers n water being used as the medium of expression of the tale.
Sitting in ur cozy bed, sipping a cup of tea in morning while the mystical world unravels of secret abode of colorful life of small blue creatures and there chance
encounter with the pompous humane world and the outcome of the best of two ........
wow it was like listening to Dadi's fairy tale -in a cold morning n enchanted in the possibilities of beauty all around...........loved the muvie!!!

Erin Brockovich

Today I watched Erin Brockovich -Julia Roberts, as always a stupendous performance.SO its a story of a single Mom of 3 children, 10 yrs, 8 yrs n few months...uneducated, unemployed having a tough time raising her children n struggling for job to arrange the money.
Till the time she decides not to be bent according to wishes of males in her life, but to do where she finds meaning in her life, respect for herself.So stumbling on a job of doc keeper in a law firm, she discover a 38billion dollar firm doing grave assault on life by hiding the fact that their plant uses a form of
chromium thats toxic and has led to various kinds of deadly diseases to inhabitants in the nearby area, while investigating a real state issue of a family being offered some small amount in offer to sell their house.

She discovers the link of land n disease, researches the roots, gives people the faith and gets them the justice earning respect and meaning in turn.

In between she has to struggle for her children don't understand why she has to put herself so occupied, her new found love insists its no need to carry on with the job
his boss that the case cant be handled by them .......she manages to get them all addressed in most inspiring manner.Not dogged down by threatening call , neither by
the prospect of loosing it all.........here she was doing the best what could ever be done.
The unrelenting attitude and straight faced answers she could give to shitty remarks of people , u just loved her responses making the ridiculous comments of others dump on their own faces. The confidence -"my research has no loop holes" "ask me whose no u want" out of 635 people inhabiting the area since the plant was established "tell them I am not a lawyer" on the question of being trusted, "multiply the cost of ur intestine by 100 , no less then that would be negotiable" when intimidated by the company's lawyers.
.The magnanimity of the character - is just enthralling n u could imagine urself stepping in her shoes n fighting for the people .