What in the name of Modernism??? is it just aloofness , moral deficiency society and aimless beings....towards a tragic end!!!

Suicide as a concept has always haunted me and any example - has always sent shivers down my spines - how ?? how can anybody for whatever reason can attempt to put an end to his/ her own life?? U don like ur job place - leave it , ur under tons of pressure at home for any reason - run away , go - change ur place , ur ways , ur aims , ur thougths , - give urself a second chance of perfect existence... a break - a real break ...go on hilltops -n just chill -go away to whatever u have ever liked being to and try to decipher what fascinates u of it - go chill relax - u need not do anything in life now as what others think - just being there is enough - doing something is our nature - what we feel like we'll do - one day and only that day will matter - no other day - there's no hurries , no train to catch -- exist beautifully n serenely - laugh with friends -- or just see the amusing ur self -- but y end like that??

There are many ways u can think ur life is useless - but y u need to get the use at an instance glance - let it be a new start - y cant u just leave all in past n tread a new way of ur make , forget the pressure , forget the expectations , forget whatever ur supposed to be n ur not ... its all immaterial - isnt it ...just sit in a park for days - n witness the people ,their joy n their pains; cry out loud if u want to - but just for a moment look around with open eyes -witness life in its flight as birds , as butterflies , as colours as fun , as emotions , as joy ; as trees that are always there as ultimate assurance ;see the nature n its ample resource ...go help someone in whatever mintue way u can - n feel what gratitude is . know the essence of life that its surely no race against time or against urself , its no timelines or string of chains ; rather its just what ever u want it to be ...u wanna just be the one u feel like being...


y cant u go n tell the man nearest n seemingly most happy all ur troubles just for companion sake- tell him that u feel like its a useless existence just as a last attempt n trust me -that day u'll realise -its all a miniscule , am empasse , very next day ur gonna be grateful to God and filled with awe and wonder that as a child u always held deep withi n ur self and shining in ur eyes; capture it again - go help an orphanage , go help old people just for a change - go wish all well - praise all u feel like worthy of a praise - y u need to be an Einstein or the smartest guy/gal in the world ...there's perfectly no need of them - somebody will take care of that by his own unaware being - u just be there on stage -n do the little little things that matter - that really matter the most to someone - n trust me the gudwill will take u to dreamlands u always cherished to be in ur wildest dreams ..........



ohhh i had gone thru this thought once - n that was so stupid to even consider , now its most amusing side ,cant help but laugh at it now- "not cracking an exam " failing straight in the face of ur friends , family and society and crashing ur belief on u to dearths . I understand how it feels - but then xyz exam is not u live for - neither does it matters ?? so many uneducated heroes of world have proved it ...all that matters is being human - n respecting humanity in whatever little way u can ...


College dropouts who make a difference, little villages people who make there village stand apart as the best example of self sustained onen n no of such examples - i feel that needs just to be human, u just need to be sensitive and creative , do whats required, help others in ur most ingenuious way u can - best engineering products are created by necessity -which no engineering graduate can n has sitting in premier colleges with tons of equations n know-how.........!!!

ohh just wipe out tears of ailing eyes , bring back smile on one thats deprived life-- create beauty n joy --- that u can always do --- just ur confident smiling presence will do ...but don live this someone else imposed battle on u-- leave the battle n regain u ............

When perfection becomes a habit ..a norm of day , a way of life..

Today , a day after and again
from habit to becoming a nature
when perfection becomes a norm rather than an exception
when cool attitude, help as instinct and worm to learn
is what all are bitten by
when ideas sprout n are sure to be realized
when act on wish and live a dream is the way
when surroundings induce these bug in you
trust me my dear that day you are an IITian............!!!


its the wait for normal spaces to be copied in multiple forms
for multiple brains, a day before exam
its the huge queue of nerds, chasing the bus running from the stop
its the designs of huge networks with a chalk n a board
its the concepts just fitting in the form just perfectly
like a piece n bits falling to fit in
n it should make you more strong
with each passing day,
with each encompassing/engrossing thought
remember the days when you just wanted to feel great
like a new idea and understanding
recollect the yearn to read and marvel
remember the crave to feel the shell - break it to pieces
n live a day of freedom of work
tasks just out of your wish
do u remember me?
I am that craving from days past
to do something meaningful
and now walking at the sidewalks
with the giants around and overwhelming feats
so many things to learn and fathom
n beautifully understand the varied forms
why this rush to put it restrictedly,
no worries of manipulations
bygone are the crazy days
learn the free spirit
of reason, of logic
tread with an insight
make the foundations of Rome
strong and huge to the core
like the incessant work on some art form
relish the learning as it flows
like a wonder in eyes and joy of mind at work
like a genuine thought twirling and shaping in the nerves
be strengthened with each difficult second
thanku IIT for whatever it is u gave
and for giving the breathing space
to choose what I want
comprehending the degrees of freedom
is now the charm
lemme fall in
and fathom the depths of perfection.........

City I lived and Loved..............!!!!

It was not the love at first sight , neither it was second for that matter . It was only after living there for an year and then four more that I had fallen in love with the city -Indore . M.P.'s commercial hub and so called “mini Mumbai” is a unique treat in itself. With all the Historical heritage of AhilyaBai Nagri and hence derived names of major University and Colleges trains n places there -it has plethora of places to roam around and have fun . But its not what lends uniqueness and identity to it – the thing which noone can ever miss – is the food crazinees of the Indori Public . Yes however strange it may sound -its the best and the identifying trademark of any Indorian .

Lemme shed some light on the extensiveness n extent of this trait – Every street and corner – has atleast 3 shops of snacks and Poha jalebi -all side by side , i emphasise -”every street” -colony ,roadside , busstand side of a abandoned place – anywhere and everywhere – thats the first thing u tend to miss when ur out of Indore – that u have to go to some specific place to get to eat what u love – but not in Indore- for they love “Poha -Jalegi , Sev -which is used in most creative ways in any n almost every thing they tend to prepare-a must to have indeed , Kachori , Samosa , Chat , Namkeens and all other varied snacks n sweets if u still want to eat something after having your fill of these customary mandatory n habituary things to eat – u do have have them at your disposal – for the Keyword is “Eat” .

Every Km or so – u'll have a big market where u can find ofcourse many eateries and namkeen makers shops and a huge queue of line of people waiting for there turn to eanter and have there plunge at there favourites at any time of day n night ofcourse too . Early morning 6 am – all shops have a queue , late night at 3 – oops its a queue indeed . Kothari market, RNT Marg ,Siyagang, Dawabazar, Sarafa,Chhawani ,Sapna Sangeeta ,Regal , Khazuri etc etc

There are many famous “citywise” shops too - “The GK -Guru Kripa -nearby Bus stand , The Chappan – named after initial 56 shops there, now many more - which is specifically developed eating out area – surrounded by Malls like Treasur Island ,Globus , Vishal mart ,Almost all Outlets n show rooms and many more shops all around – fullto shopping and hang out place .

Then it has its own dialect and words – Bakar , Tafri etc etc – which can easily make u understand them the moment they open there mouth . Living life to fullest is what they know – though its not as safe as Ahmedabad , as grand n impersonal as Mumbai neither a Political power hub as Bhopal or Delhi. Yet its a city with life , city with fun , city with craze n zest n ofcourse food . Indori people are crazy !!!! and thats what u cant miss – they do what they want – n live the way they want. N Ofcourse they are varied crowd – some from up , some from gujarat , some from Punjab , some from partition day sindh , Some from Maharashtra - yet living there for so long – blended together they all are Indori now.

Ofcourse how can I delay the mention of word 'Rajwara “ till so long – its the biggest market of Indore – like SN + Chandni chowk of Delhi , Fashion street + Colaba of mumbai – Its in the form of huge area – where one entire street is dedicted to specific things – so u have cloth market in a section , electrical appliances section , stationary and books s3ction – and eateries are only shops with liberty to sprout up at every nook and corner .

Its said ur a true Indorian iff “U have been to SARAFA at 3 in night to have Special Poha Jalebi “ there . Well i can add Burf ka gola to it .

Almost every KM or so u can find a mall -n ofcourse full with people – crunch of paring space and
the crowdest part being the food court . Pakiza sarees , Indore has rich of the richest people
amidst multitudes of Engineering colleges , art colleges , schools and a medical college .

Thre best part is – u can get whatever u want within a periphery of 10 Km thats where Bus stand Railway station , all major hospitals , colleges , parks , eateries , marriage gardens and malls are situated . And if ur after very specific place -then ofcourse its a big city . It has City bus – the first of its kind to be run there – which where later incorporated in other cities too , then honda city as City cabs .

N ofcourse Indorians talk a lot . They simply love it !!! Bskar u see...... Holi diwali , dusshera , christmas , new year – they just need a bahana too celebrate n wish n smile n talk .

After leaving that city I have been too Ahmedabad , Delhi , Gurgaon n Mumbai – but it stands out . SO next time when u find anyone – going on on fondly on Indore – dont be bored – understand that he's trying to tell u of a uniquest city and most charming place to be.

It has unque way to identify places with – each of its turning is named and place is known by that . Like navlakha chowraha , Gita bhawan , bhawar kua , Vijay nagar ,LIG , Palasia etc etc . n there are only two roads to identify with – AB Road and MG Road.

Ofcourse Chokhi dhani , Nakhrali dhani , Ralamandal ,Choral dam , Patal paani , Mandu ,Omkareshwar , Bijasen tekri ,Khajarana Temple , Lalbagh etc etc – should be described but then every City has places to roam around so i leave description of these .
Mathurawala ,Monkey's Cafe , Buddy's Cafe , TI Foodcourt , Celebrations foodcourt , Sarafa , Chappan all need special mention ofcourse .

n when she learnt to live again...............

n writing of the time , when she was reborn - having learnt to live again .....
n what she did - what happened - will all come in notes n forms .........
She was the one-too vibrant -to keep captive
to thoughtful -to be kept in bounds
too perceptive -to be frowned by clowns
she was the one-observant,literal and free
free of any imposed notions and bounds not of her make
she was the one-ready to relive each day -to bring some aspect anew
and she learnt to live new ways -in her varied attempts of the same
its a tale- as far and distant as the tale generally is
when the portrayal just depicts the reflection you find within
that ohhh Holy God- this has been me - so many times
those moments i keep locked away from all eyes
the times -i feel like i am alive and different
amusing i dare say , to ur own logical self
its the tale of this gal - Cheery as perceived
but lost in an experiment of life
that never takes the same form and flow
yet keeps you for new rides and places
its somewhere their - that the need to tell arose
n she sat scribbing down what she could think of

An Evening @ Lakeside...............

As if the tides stood still , letting the waves reign .....
as if the waves ran playfully - to flow with the wind passing by
as if the wind filled the place- to make trees dance with its beats
as if the trees rose up in joy to meet the sky
as if the exalting sky changing its colous as a dj of the entire scene
driving n encouraging the cycle of abundant joy!!!
n sitting dere amidst glittering lake n sky changing hues n colours
green n blue n grey , pale yellow n orange
listening to the humming birds flying towards the vast horizon
profusing with inexplicable joy,enthu n spirit ; upliftment n solace .
n as i sat dere - with my heart flying with the birds
flowing with the waves n humming with the birds
dancing with the swirling trees......
n i sat dere ...as if the time stood dere ....
still, immobile , calmly for eternity ......
n till it was the transformed to a star lit night!!!

Boost Morale............

what is the one sentence to tell anybody
to boost there morals , no matter what
the one thing that can sustain the spirits,
infuse the enthu n drive to action
blow over any lingering doubt ....

is it the fairy n angels tale
the almost right in the wrong world
is it the notion that ur the best one of a kind
is it u r Gods child.......
or u can be an inspiration- to look upto
u can enligten multiple lives

what is it - to make them smile
shine with hope n rise up in there eyes
whats to say to forget to cry
its not bland n blunt like -life moves on
its not - shit happens or u never know

gimme words of freedom of profusing sounds
of glittering hopes n rising devotion
its the faith within that proclaims out loud
its the thing "y u wanna live"
its y u feel - life's a bliss

what is it- identify ur call
n heed to it- rest all comes in line
suddenly ur path becomes a delight
u know what u wanna do
make ur priorities -absolutely right
n stick to ur inner voice

there's ample ways to do the things u want
there's no rush for time...no need of exotic resources
its just in the thought u inculcate
are immersed in n engrossed with
its a dreamland of created opportunities
inculcate the belief..to trust to be urself
n succeed to live upto ur own imagined self n wish......!!!!.

Control lab..not some dreary lab!!!

He was a teacher , beloved of all.each one of his pupil , loved him -for he was not just a teacher -teaching a set, set of formulas n chapters n concepts n notions.-which had nothing to do with either the teacher or the students. He was a teacher to whom existence was learning n learning the essence of life– learning for the sake of it – for the joy it imparts , not cause it helps u solve some problems . When he was in class – all worries , troubles, undecipherable , uncomprehendable formulas were gone , those very same drub things surprisingly became fun , a ha[ppenign evetn , a norm – a way of life , as if its most natural, almost like a breathe ....then he'll give the most beneficial gyan of life – almost in the middle of n in relation to the complex equation being solved.he will mock the book writer for being so rigid with the way n pattern of solving – n let students create there own ways instead to send him back to correct n replace n he focused on not just one subject but a set of ideas to read . N it was fascinating. Nobody cared to look here or their , on time it was , on page they trying to read n figure out. But all were engrossed in a dialogue – with themselves to create whatever was being said.

His large years of experience, never was evident when he stood for hours n presented his words in such a lively n expressive manner. N he will be patient untill each n everyone had their theory set right n have learnt atleast four five alternative aspects of whatever be the subject of discussion.
No doubt it was just the way teaching was meant to be, before being unnecessarily made glim by the so called torch bearers of educational setup of society.

N he was the lone example of how it was meant to be in its basis n its form. Smile was meant for any flawed reasoning with clues to what logical justifications u flawed at and a step further succeded every new perspective presented by anyone. A step further always- thats the way always – never u reach saturation , never is their a limit , never their existed a cap on thoughts – a step at a time n a step ahead , so it was n so it is supposed to be.


It was in one such class -that eva sat , just after a big meal – which could never have let her keep awake , had it been any other class- but here she sat – with her mind wide open , unprecedented these days , n her imagination running all over. She justified the methodology – with analogies of her approach , reproachfully pitied the writer when it felt almost stupid to present the solution in the manner he did, she made her own ways to get the task accomplished n she sat deeply contended n at work – really for the first time in what seemed like aeons.

Her mind racing faster then speed of light , her thoughts all in unison n a clarity of approaching things thats unimaginable otherwise. Then n there she realised what she wanted to do in life. It was to make learning universal n fun – almost as the gr8 teacher in front did it effortlessly n most uniquely .

N then as u thought that its the mundane stuff being glorified – its when u r at fault . It was history in make , my dear , as the future will present. The scientists are not born by their own or by gods grace – discoveries are not done -just like dat , they all need is -the right question , corresponding thought process n the curiousity n motivation to reach where it leads untill u reach a comprehendable justification or fact . N thats what was being done with each of the human being , then n there that would change the facet of the country in the world map .for every great achievement in any field – needs a joy of doing , a joy of discovering and a joy of thoughts .

For in future when the time would demand – u could not manufacture scients n engineers – but u have to nurture them -when time is apt . N it would be then that the huge contribution of this simple lone teacher will be seen n sought all over .

It would be then that nobody will be able to stand but the country of this man.

One in the string of realization

its just the beauty of that smile
the unhindered self mesmerised in itself
its just that mysterious look in eyes
its that truth that they behold
its in the unsaid words
that i tend to capture the eternity
its that unfathomed , unsuppressed hearty self
that expresses it out of silly mundane
its that jest it imparts for all conquests
i seek that beautiful being
thats hidden beneath every face
layers n layers of slith cant evade its presence
its in those unguarded moments that i know truth resides
unhidered n untouched by the projected details

Seeking Clarity

the coolness is in attitude , in conduct, in mannerism or in the being
the satisfaction is in wat we do , wat we hav or wat we believe
existence is in future , in past or in present
d questions dat haunt -r dose we face , v live or we cudnt solve from long
wat is exactly the clue - to the universal truth
to the one thing dat settles all cloudy doubts
the clutter is wat we r into , we went through or wat we are creating
the beauty is wat we see , wat we perceive , or wats d soal aim of creation
wat is it - dat settles for once n for all -
all the myths , all illusions , all futile brainless , senseless wandering
n unwarranted zillion plights........
we talk of science n of progress
we talk of learning n advancement
when wat all my heart yearns for is nature's perfection
yet we cant seek a way back to nature ,,,,,,
cause dats ghastly - unimaginble , completely defeatistic , holistic approach
wat exists is the best -den wherein came the question of moving on
natural selection n survival of the fittest
no - no - not at all ..........
there's a missing link dat we refuse to hold on
yet amidst all - i don understand - all dat just purvades dis unlearned docile self
is strange conviction , strange in the name of faith
that it is just one thread n varied forms
its the creator n his creations
its something we are part of .......
yet in daily life - its useless , timeless , bugging n frights
wat it is - dat gives multitude sleepless nights
yearning for something dats out of our control
an exaggerated sense of supremacy , dats unfounded
or just a stupidity -n volubility -making it worse
dis clarity has evaded me for so long.......
caught in the web , i get messed up -
till i tear all n come alive
den i am a spectator - no more a part of woving cloud ..an changing clowns
den i am unaware of wat went by -n i just passively stand
then too its no use - for i get onto the same basics i learnt long ago
n yet i know i am gonna tread to the web dat i will b interwoven into ,
again to break all - n make a new start -
but it seems to lead no where - serve no good n make no sense

if its clarity -a simplicity dat i miss- am all open to seek it
search it , unlearn all cogging details - n open up to all possibilities
but God ! if dere's u nywhere or everywhere - gimme d missing lead
gimme smthg dat serves as d basics.....amidst boundless quotes
i hav forgotten all - n i am not sure of nything at all.........
if purpose is wat all matters
den wat is this element called "wish"
if sharing is the ultimate "bliss"
y dese endless clashes to grab all by a single being
if smile is the fondest expression - y its a mark of foolishness
if simple is everything - y life seems just undecipherable
demeanour was never my cup of tea
neither control n maturity
yet i need to seek this clarity
for the sake of being.....!!!!!!!!

MIRA WAS NOT AN ABNORMAL CHILD

Mira was not an abnormal child
nor was she psychotic brainless lot
she just was far too excited
for the normal things of the daily life
somehow she never learnt to overcome her curiosity
the same tree arose in her childish joy

but who would have thought
its not up to the mark
in the society she's gonna live-in
who would have known
she's gonna be like that ,
even when its almost absurd

she would wonder each morning
wow its a new bright charming day
as if its never gonna change
and that she would rejoice
captivating the stars in her eyes
wonder and praise it each n every night

to those bored lot on earth
who seek newness every now and then ,
she was a beautiful change to watch and witness
yet somehow nobody got to know -
the how and what of what she's like
for world just knows how to move on
neither stands and waits for the delayed lot
nor stands for long and praise the victorious hero’s
for her it was all to do with her
the little little details was too great...!!!!!!!!!!!